Manners

[Tobina+1]

A comment on another thread brought me to ask this question...
What exactly is manners?
Please and thank-yous.  Opening the door for elderly and women.  How about "sir" and "ma'ma"?  Does it depend on the area of the country you were raised in?
I might have told this story before, but when I first started dating Chuck (south-Florida boy), my parents were actually OFFENDED that he called them "sir" and "ma'ma".  I remember my mom actually telling me that she thought he was disrespecting them!  When I explained to her that he called his dad "sir" and his mom "ma'ma", she finally realized that he was actually being polite!  But I've had many experiences myself, as seen this from other people, too, that if you call someone "sir" or "ma'ma", they do get offended.  "My dad was 'sir'" or "I'm not old enough to be a ma'ma!"  Chuck's neices and nephews (all under the age of 12) learn "sir" and "ma'ma" at an EARLY age.  It's not just "thank you", it's "thank-you, ma'ma" and they get reprimanded if they don't remember to say it.
So, what's your opinion? 

[rosewolf]

I think that you are right. Kids now days do not respect their elders and should say yes sir an no sir or thank you or no thank you. I know that I was not raised to say it that way, I was raised to have respect for my elders regardless of how I felt. You are also right about the area that they grow up in as well. In North Carolina some really do still say that, not all of them mind you, but a few kids are raised with some manners.

[pamsback]

 Reminded me of something I had to get used to when we moved down here. Men tend to call women miss whatever like I was Miss Pam when they were talkin to me and it kind of freaked me out till I got used to it lol.
I never would've dreamed of bein disrespectful to my elders I would've got smacked if I was ! I taught my kids the same with some modernization to protect them from people who would USE that respect for wrong things. You have to be realistic in this world of ours and they have to know the difference nowadays..... when it's ok to NOT be.

[Jo McDonald]

Our son-in-law, Curt, was raised in the south and he always says,  Ma'm and/or Sir when speaking. The southern raised people do use good manners and the showing of respect for their elders is just as natural as breathing for them.  Curt always opens the doors for Sherrri, and for me when ever he is where we are.  The men in their church at Mullinville told him that he was making the rest of them look bad and their wives were demanding the same from them that he gave Sherri.  lol  They all got a grin out of that. 
We were taught manners  -  lots of different areas, but my parents were pretty strict about that when we were growing up.
My Dad freaked out if a male person did not remove their hat or cap when entering a building.  He couldn't stand it, now days, could he?

[Mom70x7]

I use sir and ma'am when I talk with people - even with the kids at school. They get used to it.

I think manners are shared. If you use them with others, they'll usually be returned to you.
I know when school starts each fall, the new kids think I'm a bit strange, but they get used to the sir and ma'am.
I also hold doors open for them and have them return the favor.

[sixdogsmom]

Mom, you just made me think of a very special person that I was blessed to have in my school life. She was one of the old school maiden teachers who spent her entire life with 'her' children. I met Miss Hunt when she was principal of the grade school where i went in the 6th grade. She stood on the front steps every day welcoming the students to school with hugs and a good word for everybody. She will always have a special place in my heart as she made me feel welcome in an (I thought), hostile environment. God bless her, I am certain she has many stars in her crown.

[Lookatmeknow!!]

I try to always enstill manners in my girls.  I can't stand the disrespectfulness to elders.  My girls have a hard time not talking back that is what really gets me.  They get in trouble, not going to go into detail about what I do if they talk back to me, don't want people to think I am mean, but they know I mean business.  I am also working on the girls opening doors for people of all ages.  It is just a nice thing for kids to do for people.  But manners have fallen short in the world we are living in.

[Catwoman]

Oh, you've touched a nerve with this one...Manners go far deeper than just the use of Sir and Ma'am (by the way, I never in all of my working days have ever called my boss by his/her first name...It is always Sir or Ma'am...And, if I use their formal name - Mr. or Mrs. Whomever - They know it's something serious, as I never call them by their name otherwise)...Let's get into some pet peeves:

(1)  People who chew with their lips open like pigs in a trough.  I have actually had to get up, under the pretense of having to go to the restroom, when thoroughly grossed out by what was going on in front of me.  Such a simple thing...But so many, even those who are supposedly better off in life, forget this simple courtesy.  I know of some bosses who have refused to hire people, after having to sit through a lunch with them.  Your table manners say so much about who you are as a person (for instance, your ability to pay attention to detail).

(2)  People who flip their cigarette butts out of the vehicle as they're driving.  For some reason, these people seem to view the entire world as being their ashtray...And don't tell me your ashtray is full.  Not only does this trash up the environment, it is also a fire hazard, even if it has rained the night before.  Dry grasses stay that way, unless it is raining at the time. 

(3)  People who throw trash out of their car windows as they're driving.  Same reasoning, I guess (the world is their trashbin).

(4)  People who pick their noses as they're driving...And where they end up putting their 'finds'.

(5)  People who drive their vehicles like as if they are the only people out on the road, irrespective of whomever else they endanger.

(6)  Children (and I'm including those up to any age) who don't move aside for the elderly population as they try to manuver their scooters in shopping stores.  I have actually seen oldsters have to sit and wait as those who are far more able-bodied stand, quite deliberately, keeping the oldster from going through.  This is a time when I actually become an activist and look at the young person and say, "excuse you", and invite the oldster to go on through.  I get an annoyed look from the young person...But a grateful look from the one who needed the help.  There are many forms of elder abuse...This is probably the most mild form.


I could go on but will leave it at this..."Manners are a sensitive awareness of the needs of others" (Emily Post...The Goddess of Manners). 

[Rudy Taylor]

What?

I've got to stop pickin' my nose while driving?

Chee!

[Catwoman]

Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, I wasn't gunna mention any names.......But........   LOL