There are a few people I really despise....

[Warph]

There are a few people I really despise  Three are simpleton politicans and one is an idiot.



That "one" is a 44 years old no-talent midget by the name of Janeane Garofalo.  Because she is an ignoramus clown and has the self-righteous attitude of an adolescent brat, she was a perfect fit for Air America, where she and ol' buddy Al Franken competed to see which of them could attract fewer listeners. 

For those of you who have managed to go through life without ever having heard the nasty crap for which she's best known, your good luck is about to run out.  On one occasion, she said, "Our country is founded on a sham.  Our forefathers were slave-owning rich white guys who wanted it their way.  So when I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh, my god, you're insulting me.'  That you can have a gay pride parade on Christopher Street in New York, with naked men and women on a float, cheering, 'We're here and we're queer!' -- that's what makes my heart swell.  Not the flag, but a gay naked man or woman burning the flag.  I get choked up with pride."  Makes tears come to your eyes, doesn't it.  I'm sure when she shared that thought with her fellow pinheads on New York's upper Westside, there was a lot of solemn head nodding and people turning to one another, martini in hand, and saying, "That little twit has a damn good head on her shoulders." 

Another time, she announced, "The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When the Soviet Union was a superpower, the world was better off."   On the other hand, if she'd made that moronic statement in Poland, Latvia, Czechoslovakia, East Germany or Hungary, I'd like to think they'd be running around with her head on a stick.

As you might have guessed, our little Clown is a confirmed atheist, toured with Code Pink and campaigned for none other than Howard (yeowwweee) Dean.  One day she decided to get married and they tied the knot in a Vegas chapel.  I don't know how true this is but, I understand that her new husband woke up the next morning, took one look at what was lying next to him, vomited and left wearing only his shorts and alligator wallet. 

It's usually difficult to figure out why anyone who grows up with all the advantages that go with being born in America and enjoying a moderately successful career, would hate the country as much as she does.  But, at the risk of being tossed out of the layman's psychiatric association, it's hard not to view her as someone who has devoted her life to rebelling against mommy and daddy.  After all, her mother worked as a secretary in the petrochemical industry and her father was an executive with Exxon

Besides having had parents who worked in the oil industry that Garofalo hates, she isn't too happy about the hand or, rather, the size and shape God dealt her.  As she says about prepping to be a stand-up comedienne, "I was a 36C or D and at 5'1", I knew that being a small person with big boobs standing in front of an audience was not going to be easy. It would be really hard to get people to pay attention to me without mocking me and my gigantic boobs. Getting a breast reduction to prepare for my career was no different from people who work to get good grades to get into a good college to get into a good graduate school to get a good job. I went down to a B-cup, and it was the best thing in the world."

Now, why would she assume people would mock her?  Obviously, it's because if she were the one sitting in the audience, she'd be the one snickering and heckling.  On the other hand, it's really just about impossible not to mock someone who compares studying hard in college and graduate school to going to a plastic surgeon one afternoon for a breast reduction procedure.  Funny, but when I think of something to compare it to, the first thing that comes to mind is a nose job.
 
One could almost feel sorry for her if she wasn't such a nasty piece of work.  When speaking about Sarah Palin, Garofalo said, "There is definitely something wrong about her."  I assumed she had something in mind aside from the governor's being smart, attractive and happily married.  But when Garofalo got down to specifics, the best she could come up with was that Gov. Palin was small-minded and mean-spirited, whereas she, herself, is obviously open-minded and a real sweetie pie. 

When it comes to right-wingers in general, she came up with this, "The reason a person is a conservative Republican is because something is wrong with them. That's science -- that's neuroscience.  You cannot be well-adjusted, open-minded, pluralistic, enlightened and be a Republican.  It's counterintuitive."   That's sure a lot of big words wasted only to prove what a small and petty mind this nincompoop has.  But just maybe this evil little hobbit isn't quite as unaware of the sad truth about herself as she would have us believe.   After all, it isn't as if her production company woke up one day and decided to name itself I Hate Myself Productions

About the recent tea parties, the all-seeing, all-knowing gnome, who naturally didn't attend one, says, "Let's be very honest about what this is about.  This is not about bashing Democrats.  It's not about taxes.  They have no idea what the Boston Tea Party was about.  This is racism straight up and is nothing but a bunch of tea-bagging rednecks. There is no way around that." 

As if it's not bad enough that she is such an arrogant, ignorant, self-satisfied woman who, if she'd only grow a big red mustache, would look and sound a lot like Yosemite Sam.  Sorry Sam, you're still one of my hero's. 

She's also a sell-out.  How else to explain why she'd accept a role on "24," portraying FBI Special Agent, whose mission is investigating terrorists?   Where's the real Jack Bauer when we need him.

[dnalexander]

Interesting choice. I never listened to Air America so I don't know anything about that part of her career. I always thought she was a little neurotic, a good actress, and a sometimes funny comedian. I just am perplexed that she would make it that high up on your radar. Originally my  only comment was going to be, I would have paid a lot more attention to her comedy and acting career if she didn't have that breast reduction.   I just can't figure out how this C list celeb made it so high on your radar.



David

[Diane Amberg]

Isn't she just an entertainer? Kind of a reverse Rush Limbaugh? I don't think I've ever taken anything she said seriously.

[Warph]

Interesting choice. I never listened to Air America so I don't know anything about that part of her career. I always thought she was a little neurotic, a good actress, and a sometimes funny comedian. I just am perplexed that she would make it that high up on your radar. Originally my  only comment was going to be, I would have paid a lot more attention to her comedy and acting career if she didn't have that breast reduction.   I just can't figure out how this C list celeb made it so high on your radar.



David

HUH???

[dnalexander]

Sorry SuperWarph, for being unclear. I was so stymied to hear the name Janeane Garofalo. I thought Air America died years ago. I haven't heard her name in years. No point really.

David

[Warph]

No problemo, Jimmy O....  I've been meaning to "crap on her" for about a year now for all of the tripe she's been spouting against the US of A.  Ol' Slappy had some good retorts about what she had to say but too harsh to put on the forum.  You remember me talkin' about Slappy, the only black man here at the 19th Hole.  BTW, he came up with a great song for you and your hated for clowns.  (I think he stole the lyrics from someplace but, don't tell him my suspicions.... might start a civil war).

He says, "Mastah Warph, it should be sung like that little ol' fine lookin' white girl,  Petula Clarks' song, 'Downtown.' "  

Fine lookin' white girl???  I think Slappy's starting to lose it... she's got to be 75, 76, if she a day.  Anyhoo, here's his song:


Obama's known a life of privilege,
Only to be known as the... dumb clown.
He doesn't worry,
All his boys tell him "Hurry!
We are here to help!"
Dumb clown!

Just listens to the viewpoints of the rich,
And has no pity
For those live on sidewalks,
Thinks "they're peons from the city."
Power abuse...

The Left's not much brighter fare
The Shrub will get into trouble,
Then they'll tear their hair
He's their dumb clown
They think he's great
He's their dumb clown
Smirk on his face, no cure,
Dumb clown... flunkies inflate O.

(Dumb clown...)

His hangers on won't let his problems surround him
On the TV shows - Dumb clown
He doesn't know much; little space is devoted
In his brain for prose - Dumb clown
The Obama Coup cataclysm of our nation taken over
Those romancing him coo, "We will help the Left's makeover."
Zap him again...

The Left's not much brighter fare
The Shrub will get into trouble,
Then they'll tear their hair
He's their dumb clown
They think he's great
He's their dumb clown
Smirk on his face, no cure
Dumb clown, flunkies inflate O.

(Dumb clown... dumb clown)

It's much too kind to say your mind needs help,
'Cause we can't stand you.
You're so dumb, and it's just like you,
Who needs a left wing band to...
Guide you along...

Obama Baby whines, "It's not fair!"
He can't forget all his troubles,
Or foreign affairs, he's a
Dumb clown... forces of hate love this
Dumb clown... cheated to win, he's a
Dumb clown... flunkies inflate O.

[dnalexander]

Tell Slappy, I saw Petula Clark on TV recently singing Downtown. I had a crush on her when I was a kid, he has good taste in women.

As for my Coulrophobia it is a much more literal phobia. (An unnatural, exaggerated, fear of those make up wearing evil tricksters of the big top).




David

[Teresa]

I actually sang that Warph..
I proudly belted it out in fine tune and form.. 

[Diane Amberg]

David, even I would be afraid of THAT clown!!! EEK!

[flintauqua]

Reminds me of "A Clockwork Orange"