What's in a name?

[Warph]

What's in a name? Way too much where babies are concerned.

According to The Wall Street Journal, parents are obsessing over what to name their kids. They're hiring consultants, applying mathematical formulas and software programs and even bringing in nutty spiritualist types.  One couple hired a pair of consultants to draw up a list of suggestions based on "phonetic elements, popularity and ethnic and linguistic origins."  One woman paid a "nameologist" $350 for three half-hour phone calls and a personalized manual describing each name's history and personality traits.  Another spent $475 on a numerologist to see if her favorite name had positive associations, whatever the heck that means.

Why the obsession over children's names?  One baby-naming expert says that we live in a market-oriented society.  That by giving your kid the right name -- the right branding, if you will -- he or she will have a head start in life.

Oh, brother.

Look, I know these parents mean well. I know they're trying to do what is best for their kids . I know they think a special name will help the rest of the world know how special their kid is.

But they're doing more harm than good.

Take one couple.  Mom and dad went to great lengths to come up with this name: Beckett.  The name sounds reliable and stable, says the proud dad.  The "C-K" sound is very well regarded in corporate circles, he says.  The hard stop forces one to accentuate the syllable, which draws attention to it, he continues.  But he overlooked a very important consideration: Beckett is going to be getting wedgies well into his 40s.

I'm no expert on child rearing, but it seems to me if you want to give your kid a leg up in life, it's better to give him a simple, traditional name, not one that stands out.

I'm 70 and still stand 6'4" in my old age, a pre-baby boomer, and here are the names of my high school friends: Tom, John, Jim, Bill, Bob, Richard and Tim.  We had one Clitus who we called Cathair and he has a brother named Reid, but that was as daring as things got in those days.  Any of these are good names for boys.

As for girls, why not use my sisters' names: Sharon, Roberta or Brenda.  Or how about Lauren, Linda, Elizabeth or Sandy?  Or, if you want to get bold, go back a few generations to the 1890s: Ethel or Isabel (my two grandmothers).  My grandfather named my mother "Clema" after the old song, "My Darling Clementine."  This occured during his gold mining days.

The reason is simple.  If you really want your kid to be special, a name is not going to do it.  Your kid is going to have to earn it.  She is going to have to work hard and sacrifice. She'll have to try and fail and eventually find her place -- find whatever she's good at -- and then work harder to develop her talents.

It will be easier to do that if she is humble.  And it will be easier for her to be humble if she doesn't have some goofy name that makes her think she's precious and special and God's gift to the universe (such as Nevaeh, which is heaven spelled backward).

It's nobody's fault that we're screwing up kids' names -- we're screwing up a lot of things. We're doing it because we're able to.  We're able to because the American experiment has produced untold wealth -- we're free to shift our focus from trying to subsist, as our parents did, to fretting over what to name our kids.

We have to knock it off, though.

I was lucky my parents named me Bubba.  With such a name, I never took myself too seriously -- I knew I wasn't the center of anybody's universe.  I turned out half decent as a result.  And I never did get a wedgie. 

I doubt things would have turned out that well if my name was Zayden or Michelle or Gilad.

[Tobina+1]

Another interesting observation; parents are naming their children based on their own interests.  What if "Cinch" and "Latigo" want to grow up to be a teacher and an investment banker instead of bronc riders?  What if "Oat" and "Rye" want to grow up to raise cattle and be accountants instead of be farmers?

[frawin]

Another interesting observation; parents are naming their children based on their own interests.  What if "Cinch" and "Latigo" want to grow up to be a teacher and an investment banker instead of bronc riders?  What if "Oat" and "Rye" want to grow up to raise cattle and be accountants instead of be farmers?

Tobina,that could really be a problem, what if the son of a Proctologist wants to be a Minister.

[Tobina+1]

Hmmm.  I guess they both make grown men pray to God?  Or something about singing to the heavens?   

[flo]

maybe I'm missing the point here, but no reason why the son of a proctologist couldn't be a minister.  Long as he wasn't named A..H..., I suppose.  The worst names I have heard, and this family was on TV a few weeks ago.  They had three children and the oldest, a girl, is named Adolf Hitler and the last name, I forget.  One child named Heimler, I think, and the third was named along the same lines.  They were having some legal problems with the children's names and a private school they wanted to send the little girl to.  Can you imagine the problems these children will have when they get older?  Why would these parents do this to their children?  Maybe they are white supremists, but don't do that to your child.  Remember Chastity?  I know of a Greenwood county couple who also named their daughter that, but believe me it wasn't because of the parents' beliefs.  Go figure . . . 

[sixdogsmom]

Flo, I saw this morning that the children with the nazi names had been removed from the parents' custody.

[Wilma]

I saw that, too, but I didn't read the article.  Wish I had now.

[Tobina+1]

My grandma thinks there should be a rule in our family as to the name of the person you marry...
She has a son named Chris who has a son named Clint.  Chris' daughter has a husband named Curtis (and have children named Kelsi, Christopher, and Karli).
My grandma has a son-in-law named Kurt who has a son named Kent (who married Keri).  Kurt also has a daughter Kristen who married Craig.
Another of my grandma's granddaughters married a Greg.  My sister married a Wade.  
Another cousin married Collin, and I married Chuck.  

So... when grandma yells, "Clint-Chris-Curtis-Kurt-Kent-Craig-Greg-Wade-Collin-Chuck", no one really knows who she wants and they all jump.
And they wonder why grandma seems to be losing her memory?  

[indygal]

When it came time to name my kids, I used this guideline: what name will sound appropriate at all ages of his/her life? Will the "cute" name work for them as a toddler, or a teen but sound ridiculous when they're 40 or 70? (I have a hard time imagining a 75-year-old Brittany or Tiffany... apologies to all the Brittanys/Tiffanys out there.) Were the names easy for other people to spell and to remember?

I have news for you, Warph: Name a girl Ethel or a boy Delbert nowadays and those poor kids will suffer all their lives from the teasing. Of all the names you mentioned as good choices, only two -- Lauren and Elizabeth -- would be considered "with it" right now. (Coinky-dink: my granddaughter's name is Lauren Elizabeth). Beckett sounds like a pretty good name to me, especially if the other possible name is Wilbur (apologies to all the Wilburs out there). But you're right. Many old names are good ones, and many are making a comeback or never went out of fashion (Grace, Sarah, Ethan, Nathan, Jacob, etc.).

Tobina, I used to know a family that the dad was named Don and the mom was Donna. They named their kids Donnie Jr. and Dawn.

[Teresa]

Just some scattered information on this :

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gxnBSZtjbgocm6f98Bsgnsk3G-GQD95N1HRG

http://hotair.com/archives/2009/01/14/new-jersey-official-we-didnt-take-the-kid-because-hes-named-after-hitler/