God, Please help me

[flo]

How do I "forgive and forget"?  There are two people in this world that have done horrible, unforgiveable things to those I love and I, so far, have not been able to forgive them.  I know this is wrong, but God Help me, I simply cannot find it in my heart.  One still walks this earth, the other has gone on.  Both know what they have done, neither has seen fit to apologize or ask for my forgiveness or try to make amends.  How do I get over this? How do I keep from harboring this hatred? I know it is not for me to judge but try as I might . . . . .

[Teresa]

Sometimes Flo.........I think that we can ( with the help of God and time) forgive... but I don't think we can forget.
I think we all have situations that we struggle with. It is what makes up the learning lessons we have to endure to grow spiritually.
To forgive takes the help of the Greater Power.. to forget ( in my opinion doesn't happen) but you can, when the memory arises..remember with less anger and not let the hurt consume you. Each time something triggers the memory or incidents of that person.. take a deep breath.. and once again turn it over to God. Ask Him to help you and I find it increasingly easier if I look at that person and see something to feel sorry for them about.  Most people who have a mean streak in them or who take enjoyment out of being negative and doing negative things.. are sad and pathetic people..who are miserable on the inside.
That helps me deal with it...

I don't know what the answer is totally. Only that when those times arise with the 2 in my lifetime that I have had to deal with and in a way, STILL have to see and deal with .. I just say" God... it's back.. I need help to deal with it. If there is some reason I am supposed to continue to have emotions where this is concerned..then give me some other way to look at this so I can keep my heart open."  And sometime I vent to a couple people who I trust..and that helps.. and before you know it.. I am once again. level and sane.. 

These danged old learning things we have to go through here on earth really sucks sometimes. But remember. There are reasons we have to go through all this stuff.  and someday we will know why.. but until then.. we have to look at it through Gods eyes..and know that he wouldn't let us deal with things that are not..in the long run.. for our own spiritual good.

I'm here if you need me. ..you know that. 

[Catwoman]

Flo,  I have read somewhere that, before a soul is allowed to go on to Heaven, it must experience and endure all of the hurts that it perpetrated on others during it's lifetime.  If this is indeed the case, then the one who went to their grave (knowing what they did but not answering for it in this existence) is now in full knowledge of the extent of your pain...and is begging to be released from this agony.  The one who still walks this earth and doesn't seek your forgiveness is more than likely too much of a coward to seek you out and apologize.  It takes more courage than most people possess to walk up to another and admit their wrongdoing and seek forgiveness...yet, it's one of the most liberating things that an individual can do and is one of the few ways that someone can directly take back control of not only their present but also their future...because, until you have made things right with the other person, that person will continue to haunt your existence until you do so.  I have people in my life who have made my life almost completely unbearable...and I have to deal with them on a regular basis.  The way I survive having to tolerate their existence in this world is to know that they are making their own beds in the next life...and I feel sorry for them when they get there.  The Rev. Billy Graham once said to pray for your enemies honestly and wholeheartedly...because, when you pray for them and they still do horrible things to you, every time you pray for them you are heaping coals of fire upon their heads that they will have to deal with after they've made their transitions to the next life.  Hang in there, Flo...you are cared for. :-) 

[sixdogsmom]

Flo, I think you learn to live with it the same way as you learn to live with the loss of a loved one. There are times when the pain is nearly bearable and then we turn around and it seems unbearable. But time and faith should ease the pain. God bless, I will say a prayer for you. 

[Mom70x7]

Flo -

I had a person hurt me and knew that I couldn't forgive.
So I told God that it was up to Him - forgiveness was beyond my capability.
I just said, God I can't do this - you're going to have to do it for me.

It took me awhile to come to the realization that I needed to forgive myself for not being able to forgive someone else.

Years later, I realized I had forgiven and been forgiven.

My prayers for you include peace.

[flo]

For the end of this story, please go to today's Enlightenment.  Thank you Pam