The Cat & Dog Theory On Voting

[Warph]

All those pundits who were forecasting the November election, busily analyzing blue states, red states and those all-important purple swing states, were spinning their wheels.  At the risk of sounding even more presumptuous than usual, I contend that they were wasting their time and yours.

If you ever want to know who's going to win an election, all you really need to do is find out how many people have cats living with them and how many have dogs.  The cat people, I have decided, will go overwhelmingly for the liberal; the dog lovers will vote for the conservative.

It isn't simply that single women, who often prefer felines to canines, tend to vote Democratic.  It really goes to the nature of the animals, themselves.

Cats are finicky.  Which is just a Madison Avenue euphemism for being snooty, snobbish and stand-offish.  Dogs are honest, friendly and loyal.  Just looking at them makes people feel good.  Which is why you even find them appearing in TV commercials that have nothing to do with kibble or flea collars.  It also explains why so many of them, including Rin Tin Tin, Lassie, Asta, Old Yeller and Benjy, have been movie stars.

Cats speak French.  Or are you going to insist that "meow" doesn't sound like something nasty a Parisian would say behind your back?  Dogs speak English, and they're plain spoken.  Cats arch their backs and hiss.  Dogs wag their tails and let you know you've been missed when you've been out of sight for all of thirty seconds.

With a cat, you can't do anything right.  With a dog, you can do no wrong.

If you want to get your cat's undivided attention, you have to turn on the electric can opener.  If you want to get your dog's undivided attention, you merely have to be breathing.

A dog's favorite toy is a ball.  A cat's is either a living mouse or a toy filled with catnip, his/her drug of choice.

A dog will dive into a raging river to save a stranger's life.  A cat wouldn't step into a puddle to save yours.

A dog, if he were your next door neighbor, would be the kind of guy who'd come over and fix your plumbing.  A cat, if he were your next door neighbor, would borrow your lawn mower, and not only would he not return it, but would try to sell the darn thing at his next garage sale.

In fact, the only apparent difference I can distinguish between liberal politicians and a cat is the latter's ability to clean itself with its tongue.  But, I, who take nothing for granted, wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer and Hillary Clinton, are known to occasionally cough up hairballs.

[pam]

Well Warph I have a independant cat and a Wolf not a dog, what do you reckon I vote?

[Warph]

LIBERTARIAN!

[Teresa]

sorry sweetheart............ you get the big 'honk'..
I have 2 cats...
I have had dogs ( and cats) all my life, and am actually a dog person, but travel too much to get dogs again right now.

but ...........................Marshal and I have cats ..

and a Liberal I am not.. 

[Catwoman]

AMEN, Teresa...I have cats and have also had dogs...and even though I'm an Independent, I tend to lean toward the conservative side.  So, try again, Warph...and quit dissing one of God's most perfect creatures! lol

[pam]

LIBERTARIAN!

LOL

[redcliffsw]

Are we beginning to call liberals "independent" instead of liberal?
Hope not. 

[jerry wagner]

Are we beginning to call liberals "independent" instead of liberal?
Hope not. 

Your right, that makes perfect sense!      It would be impossible for a liberal to considered independent.  Somehow, only a moderate or a conservative can achieve that standing.

[frawin]

Are we beginning to call liberals "independent" instead of liberal?
Hope not. 

NO WE AREN'T, and I don't think that Warph is either.

[Catwoman]

Are we beginning to call liberals "independent" instead of liberal?
Hope not. 

Absolutely not.  As I have said before, I am registered as an Independent because I never vote a straight ticket.  However, my leanings are definently conservative...NOT Liberal.