Obuma's highly nutritive WealthSpread™ Formula

Started by Warph, November 03, 2008, 12:40:44 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

Warph

While canvassing neighborhoods in Ohio this past month, Barack Hussein Obuma advised a tax-burdened plumber, Joe, not to worry about money because under his presidency money will disappear since it will no longer have any meaning anyway.  Instead, all Americans will be living off Obuma's highly nutritive WealthSpread™ formula that is surprisingly low in effort and is being promoted by a group of leading nutritionists known as the 'Cook Fringe of the Democrat Party' under the brand name "I Can't Believe It's Not Earned!"

"Your new tax plan is going to tax me more, isn't it?" Joe the plumber asked, complaining that he was being taxed "more and more for fulfilling the American dream."

"It's not that I... uh... uh.... want to punish your success," Obuma responded.  "I just want to make sure that... uh... everybody who is behind you, that... uh... they've got a chance....uh... uh... for success too.   ... uh... mmm... I think when you spread the wealth around, it's... uh... good for everybody."

"So instead of cutting taxes.... uh...ummm.... with a kitchen knife... uh... we'll butter it up with wealth and... uh...  spread it around like we earned it," the Democratic candidate continued.  "It's... uh... a patented foreign blend that is guaranteed to help improve my standing in the... uh... ummm... polls, but it's made with 100% pure American taxpayer sweat, which once again shows how taxes can be... aaah... uh... patriotic."

When asked to clarify how exactly this plan was going to work, Obuma, who is currently ahead in the polls, explained that it was "quite simple: everyone... uh... will be contributing according to his abilities and consuming according to his needs, while... uh... special observers.... uh... yes, special observers... uh... kkccc.... will be making sure that a worker's contribution... ummh.. uh... does not go above or below the approved list of his abilities.  Special distributors will also be making sure... aaa.... uh... that a worker's needs do not exceed the quota based on the availability of the WealthSpread™ formula."

"And, of course, there will also be watchers who will watch these watchers, uh... and the watchers who will watch those watchers, and so on - uh... aah... leading to a full guaranteed employment for everybody."

"What's not to vote for?" Obuma the con man, finished as he was cheered on by a group of supporters wearing blue pins with the Obama logo and the words "Journalists for Hussein."

"Every once in a while I just have a compelling need to shoot my mouth off." 
--Warph

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all."
-- Warph

"A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."

Diane Amberg

I guess Sarah must be practicing her version of that in Alaska where the natural resources belong to "the people," and they share in the permanent fund. Spread that wealth around, Sarah. ;D ;D ;D

SMF spam blocked by CleanTalk