Keith Olbermann (pronounced Ol-ber-clown)

[Warph]

Keith Olbermann (pronounced Ol-ber-clown) is a smirky American TV sports idiot turned insufferable liberal news commentator, gigantic egomaniac and miserble Clown..... which is the reason why it's HARD for many people to take the left seriously.

The thing to remember about Keith Olberclown is that he's no more qualified to hold forth on Politics than Terry Bradshaw or Sponge-Bob.  He just happened to stumble into the right place at the right time when liberal-minded MS/NBC was trying to fill dead.... very dead.... air time.

Olberclown is the kind of guy who shows up at your party, demands to smoke your weed, and then never passes it back to you, because he's Keith Olberclown.
 
Keith Olberclown began undermining the cause of progressive thought by presenting it as a series of bad puns and stupid onscreen graphics from the moment of his birth.   (...word is, Oberclown's ob/gyn doctor had problems telling him apart from the after-birth, that rainy, overcast day, January 27, 1959, a birthday he shares with Samuel Gompers, Donna Reed, Dodi Al-Fayed's father, the lead singer of Faith No More, and bad boy rapper, Lil' John).

Originally from New York City, Olberclown grew up in Westchester County, in a substantially wussier suburb.  There, he attended Hackley, the kind of prep school where they shoot magazine ads for Ralph Lauren and Brooks Brothers.

Olberclown cut his clown teeth as a teenager, penning hard-hitting pieces for various baseball card-collecting newsletters.  This is the kind of thing geeks did before the advent of blogging.  Starting college at the advanced age of 16—a fact he undoubtedly never fails to mention "off-handedly" any time he's talking about himself—Olberclown squeezed out a BA in communications from Cornell University, alma mater of such celebrated imfamous Clowns as Paul Wolfowitz and the guy who founded Burger King.  Oh yeah, if you're so smart, Burger King guy, why did you have to discontinue the Whaler....huh?

After working several little piss-ant sports reporter gigs because no one could stand this insufferable, miserable Clown, in 1992, Olberclown somehow wound up joining ESPN's SportsCenter, a show that has done more to arrest the development of twenty-to-thirty-something men than Maxim.  He and his sports center co-host, Dan "the Man" Patrick, perfected that super annoying ESPN style of two yahoos trading fast-paced nonsense back and forth for an hour.  In 1995, Olberclown took down a Cable ACE Award, a fact he also probably never fails to mention when he's talking about himself.

It wasn't long before Keith Olberclown mistook this country's love of sports for a love of him, and thought he could make a go of it as a solo artist.  In 1997, Olberclown left ESPN on such poor terms that while they eventually let him back on their radio network, they smarten-up and banned him from stepping foot at ESPN headquarters.  For real.  True story.

After leaving ESPN, Olbermann went to work for Fox News.  Yup, Fox News.  I know... I know... hard to believe.  For three years.  Hosting a Geraldo-esquely titled show called The Keith OlberClown Evening News, whose format he blatantly stole from SportsCenter. He probably doesn't mention any of that when he talks about himself.  What a Clown.

Finally, when Fox wised up and said bye, Olberclown spent the next several years dicking around on the radio, at CNN, and with rough and tumble female equivalent Hannah Storm — who's actually probably a better athlete than him because CLOWNS have a problem tripping over their own feet— before beginning his tenure as Clownish host of Countdown with Keith OlberClown.

Countdown is known for Olberclown's strong opinions and fast-paced sleeze, filled with historical and pop culture references, interjections, and asides, which are all meant to be funny, but come off like a morning radio DJ's idea of funny.  Olberclown takes aim at extremely easy targets like the Bush Administration and The Fox News Channel, which he refers to by the super uncreative joke names "Fixed News" and "Fox Noise."  That's about as good as that guy you knew in college who was always going to "Taco Hell" for a "Queef Burrito."

Nonetheless, Countdown is the highest-rated show on MS/NBC, which is kind of like being the clean up hitter on a single A minor league baseball team.  Such a high rolling news pimp is Keith Olberclown to MS/NBC, (the 'C' stands for Clown, btw) that they not only gave him a four-year contract extension—which will most likely end well after people have stopped watching his ridiculous show—but a new program on the real NBC network.  Olbermann has described this show as a collection of commentary segments he calls "essays."  Only a real serious Clown would call what he does an "essay."

While most people would characterize Keith Olberclown as a liberal, he's really more of an opportunist, capable of dialing up or down the hyperbole according to ratings.  Olbermann himself refuses to pin himself down, once going on record as saying "I'm not a liberal, I'm an American." And by "American" he probably meant "Clown."

Like every single left-leaning pundit in existence, Olberclown has repeatedly and stereotypically demanded the resignation of both George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, called Bush a "fascist," accused him of "war crimes," and equated him to Hitler.  He may as well have been wearing a pair of Birkenstocks, in Burlington, VT, holding a bowl of granola in one hand and a "Free Mumia Now" banner in the other.

Keith Olberclown also likes to criticize both Hillary Clinton and her 2008 presidential campaign.  There is no way he didn't at least attempt to use the joke "close, but no cigar" the day she dropped out of the race.  Thankfully, in that one instance, good taste prevailed.

Both out of jealousy and the Democrat commie manifesto, Keith Olberclown likes to make a big show of feuding with Bill O'Reilly, whose show, The O'Reilly Factor, airs at the same time as Countdown.  Bill O'Reilly likes to return in kind. The truth is, O'Reilly's ratings are through the roof compared to Olberclowns.  Gee.... I wonder why.

Keith Olberclown used Peter Jennings' death to engender sympathy for himself by announcing on air that he had a benign tumor removed from his mouth.  He attributed this to a 27-year habit of smoking pipes and cigars.  This was in 2005.  Want know just what kind of Clown Keith Olberclown is?  The kind who smokes pipes and cigars and acts like a 19-year-old college sophomore.

[sixdogsmom]

Too bad you wasted your time here, we don't get MS/NBC, but I did watch a little of it in Kansas City this last time. Can't say I was really impressed. I like a little more variety in my news, not just one viewpoint. I have watched fox for a few laughs, but we do usually have CNN on. I would rather read my news though.

[dnalexander]

My aversion to clowns is well documented on the forum Thanks to MSNBCMOUSE for getting rid of the clown. Warph, you were gone for a few days good to see you back.

David

[Warph]

Too bad you wasted your time here, we don't get MS/NBC, but I did watch a little of it in Kansas City this last time. Can't say I was really impressed. I like a little more variety in my news, not just one viewpoint. I have watched fox for a few laughs, but we do usually have CNN on. I would rather read my news though.

Believe me, it is never a waste when I can put the screws to ANY liberal socalist.  Speaking of laughs, the CNN "Situation Room" with Wolfie boy (wind him up and watch him SPIN) Blitzer ranks right up there with Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" and the "Colbert Report" on Comedy Central (which I get a kick out of).... and poor Campbell Brown.... I do believe she has been taking liberal lessons of late.  Little Anderson Cooper.... what can I say... he looks like he would rather be doing his globe-trotter thing than being sucked up into this election.... I don't blame him.  I remember him on Channel One many years ago.  Howard is better off for not receiving MS/NBC although I'm surprised your area doesn't receive it on DISH or DIRECTV satellite networks.

Warph, you were gone for a few days good to see you back.

David

Spent a few days in Salt Lake visiting.

[Teresa]

Warph.. as I as reading ..I was already forming all my answers.. but...................you took the words right out of my mouth.. ( just maybe more eloquently than I could have done.)
The only thing on CNN that is worth watching is Glenn Beck. The rest of it is so full of one sided liberalism it makes me sick.

Thanks...