Every Day Light

[Judy Harder]

July 5

Words that scar
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 12:11-28
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." (v.18)

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." It's not true. Names do hurt and produce emotional scars that stay within the soul for life. A woman could not escape the bondage of a name her father gave her when she was a child: "The devil's daughter." She was freed from it eventually, but not without hours of counseling and struggle. Unkind words are like deadly missiles that penetrate all the soul's defenses and blast a hole in the personality that may take years to repair. On the other hand, words that are encouraging can lift and cheer the soul in a way that is quite amazing. C. E. Macartney tells how he saw sitting on a bench a minister whom he had known. The man was well advanced in years and broken in health. As a result of his condition, he had given up his church and was unable to participate in any kind of pulpit ministry. Macartney says, "I turned to speak to him, expecting to hear from him some word of melancholy, reminiscence or present gloom, but I received a pleasant surprise. He told me that a woman going by had just spoken to him and told him that a message he had given many years ago had been the means of bringing her to Christ. The glow on his face was something I shall never forget." How wonderful it will be if today you and I can say a cheerful and encouraging word to someone that will lift their burden, lighten their darkness and minister the life of God into their soul. At least let's try!
Prayer:

O Father, help me not to be like the person who looked into a mirror and then went away forgetting what he looked like. I have looked into the mirror of Your Word and see what I should be. Now help me be. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
James 3:1-18; Eccl. 9:17; Isa. 50:4
1. What does James say about the tongue?
2. What had the Lord given Isaiah?

[Judy Harder]

July 6

Driven personalities
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 18:1-24
"The tongue has the power of life and death '" (v.21)

Don't think that your words will be overlooked and easily erased. I can remember the words of a teacher who made me stand up in a crowded classroom and said something that pierced my heart, leaving a deep scar. The hurt has gone now and forgiveness had dealt with the residual effects, but the memory burned within me for years. Any counselor will tell you how unkind and cruel words spoken to a child in its early years have shaped and molded his life for good or for bad. A minister tells of talking to a forty-two-year-old man who was frantically working himself into exhaustion - "a volatile human being whose temper exploded at the slightest hint of disagreement or criticism." He found that during childhood this man's father repeatedly told him: "You are not going to amount to anything." Every time his father lost his temper, he would repeat this statement to the boy. Thirty years later the man still bore the pain of his father's verbal malpractice and was driven to prove his father wrong. This is what psychologists are talking about when they refer to people who are driven. They are driven by the lash of cruel words to them years earlier. Take, on the other hand, this example of another man. He told me that his father used to hug him every day and say: "You are so special to me. There is no one in the world who could take your place." That man grew up with aliveness and optimism in his personality. Proverbs is right: death words destroy, life words build up and give increasing strength.
Prayer:

Father, I would be a builder, not a destroyer of human personalities. Forgive me for the many foolish and unwise words I have spoken. From this day forward help me keep a check on my speech and use words as You would use them. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
Gen. 50:1-21; Job 4:4; Jer. 52:32
1. How did Joseph speak to his brothers?
2. What did Eliphaz say of Job?

[Judy Harder]

July 7

Healing words
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 15:1-15
"The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life '" (v.4)

Today we focus on the healing power of kind and encouraging words. When Sigmund Freud found out that symptoms of emotional distress could be relieved simply by talking in certain ways to his patients, he was deeply interested and intrigued. His training in what is known as "the medical model" had conditioned him to think of people as merely biological and chemical entities whose problems arose from physical malfunctioning. If Freud had spent some time reading the book of Proverbs, he might have been less surprised to discover that words have such a powerful impact. Most psychotherapy has to do with letting people talk. When people put their feelings into words, it seems as if the pent up emotion flows out through the words. In the USA there is a special phone line you can ring where, after you?ve given your credit card number, a person will spend three minutes giving you some encouraging and heartening words. The service, I understand, has become a growth industry. As I was preparing this page, I thought of the most influential and healing words anyone had ever spoken to me. I thought hard and remembered a friend coming up to me at my wife's funeral and saying: "You will be in my thoughts every hour of the day." How different from the sincere and well-meaning person who said to me at the same event: "Be brave." We can't change the things we said yesterday, but think of the possibilities ahead of us today and tomorrow. Don't wait another day - start now. Thank God that not only death, but life also, lies in the power of the tongue.
Prayer:

Father, help me minister life through my tongue this very day. Give me opportunities to put into action what I have heard and help me recognize those opportunities. I long to be all You want me to be. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study
Psa. 37:25-31; James 1:26
1. What does the law of God in our hearts produce?
2. If we want to speak wise and just words, what sort of people must we be?

[Judy Harder]

July 8

The most powerful word
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 25:11-28
"As a north wind brings rain, so a sly tongue brings angry looks." (v.23)

It's astonishing, the effect words can have upon you. This is why the writer of Proverbs refers so often to words and the way they ought to be used.

Here's a teaser I want to drop in that highlights the way words can be used. Professor Ernest Brennick of Columbia University is credited with inventing this sentence which can be made to have eight different meanings by placing the word "only" in all possible positions in it: "I hit him in the eye yesterday." Don't write to me for all the permutations; work them out for yourself. Someone has compiled a list of the most powerful words in the English language. "The bitterest word - alone. The most revered word - mother. The most feared word - death. The coldest word - no. The warmest word - friend." What, I wonder is the most powerful word you have ever come across? I will tell you mine - Jesus. Charles Colson, one of President Nixon's right-hand men who, after the Watergate affair, was wonderfully converted to Christ, tells of visiting a man on death row. The man had been in a fetal position for months and would speak to no one. Charles told him the gospel and asked him to say the name Jesus. A week later he returned to find the man sitting in his chair, shaven, and the cell swept clean. When he asked what had happened, the man said, "Jesus lives here now." He went to the electric chair but his last words to the executioner were these: "I'm going to be with the Lord."

Prayer:

O Father, when I utter the name Jesus something profound goes on in my being. It is like an oratorio in two syllables, a library compressed into a single word. May I learn and appropriate in my life all the power that lies behind that name. Amen.

For Further Study

2 Pet. 2:1-18; Mal. 3:13; 1 Thess. 2:5; 3 John 10
1. What sorts of words are referred to in the above verses?
2. What biblical phrase draws you most powerfully into the presence of God?

[Judy Harder]

July 9

A disciplined tongue
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 10:18-32
"' he who holds his tongue is wise." (v.19)

I'm glad God included in the book of Proverbs the words that are before us today. It's important to talk, but talking too much is as bad as not talking at all. Proverbs extols rationing our words. Once, when Thomas Edison the inventor was at a reception, the toastmaster stood up and complimented him on his many inventions, especially the talking machine. After the toastmaster sat down, the aged inventor rose to his feet and said, "Thank you for those remarks, but I must correct one thing. It was God who invented the talking machine. I only invented the first one that can be shut off." A doctor told me that once, while writing out a prescription, he asked a woman to put out her tongue. When he had finished, she said to him, "But doctor, you never even looked at my tongue." The doctor replied, "It wasn't necessary, I just wanted you to keep quiet while I wrote the prescription." Amidst the humor of today's notes, don't miss the point - words are important but don't overdo them. I like the advice of an anonymous poet who wrote: If your lips would keep from slips Five things observe with care: Of whom you speak, to whom you speak, And how and when and where. A wise person has a disciplined tongue. Many need to learn this, for, like the tongue in old shoes, our tongue is often the last thing to be worn out. If a disciplined tongue is your need, ask God to help you, for an undisciplined tongue is an unloving tongue.
Prayer:

Father, I realize that oftentimes my tongue is the most difficult thing to bring under control. Yet I have the promise of Your help even in this. I give you my tongue to be bridled - take over the reins. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.
For Further Study
Matt. 12:30-37; Titus 1:1-10; Job 11:3
1. What did Jesus say we will have to account for?
2. What did Paul mean by "mere talkers" (Titus 1:10)?

[Judy Harder]

July 10

We become what we say
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 21:16-31
"He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity." (v.23)

Why is the tongue so important? Because the expression of a thing deepens the impression. A word uttered becomes a word made flesh - in us. We become the incarnation of what we express. Jesus said, "By your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" (Matt. 12:37). After I saw that a person becomes what he says, I have looked at this verse in a different light. If you tell a lie, you become a lie. I said earlier, when dealing more fully with the subject of integrity, that the deepest punishment of a lie is to be the one who tells the lie. That person has to live with someone he cannot trust. Now look at what I am saying from the opposite perspective. When we express good things, positive things, loving things, scriptural things, these things go deeper into us. Clear expression deepens impression. A brilliant young physicist tells how he often discusses complex issues relating to physics with his wife who doesn't know the first thing about the subject. He told a friend, "I describe in detail what I am doing and she doesn?t understand a word. But sometimes when I'm through - I do." If it is true - and I believe it is - that we become the incarnation of what we express, then how careful we ought to be to ensure that what we say is guarded and governed by truth, integrity and kindness. Always remember: every word you utter becomes flesh - in you.
Prayer:

O Father, how awesome is this thought - I become the incarnation of what I express. Cleanse me deep within so that I may be pure in soul as well as speech. I would be a clarified person. Grant it please, dear Father. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
Tim. 4:1-12; Psa. 34:13; Phil. 4:8
1. In what areas was Timothy to set a good example?
2. What should our thoughts be focused on?

[Judy Harder]

July 11

The cause of most friction
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 16:21-33
"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." (v.24)

Watch your tone of voice carefully. An old Chinese proverb says, "If you have a soft voice, you don't need a big stick." I am convinced that most of the friction in human relationships is caused not so much by the words we speak, as by the tone of voice in which we speak them. Our speech conveys out thoughts; our tone of voice, however, conveys our mood. How easy it is to say, "I love you," in a tone that conveys the very opposite. Proverbs does not actually say we should focus on the right tone of voice but the implication is clearly there in the command to use words that are kind and gentle and tender. Of course, you can say things in the right tone of voice without any real feelings of kindness at all. That is why the Bible urges us to do more than seek a change in behavior, but a change that goes right down to the core of our being. Change must always come from the inside out, otherwise it will not be real change. Take once again the germ-free scalpel of the Spirit - the Word of God - and if necessary let it cauterise your tongue. Indeed, let it go deeper - into the "thoughts and intents of the heart" (Heb. 4:12, NKJV). What is our conclusion after meditating these past eight days on the subject of words? Is it not this: the wise are those who understand how their words can impact another person, for good or for bad, and commit themselves to using words only as Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:29 - words that are "helpful for building others up."
Prayer:

O God, I ask once more, help me to hold my tongue when I should and to speak when I should. I see so clearly that my tongue can have sourness or sweetness, but it cannot have both at the same time. Give me the wisdom of a right way with words. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For Further Study
1 Cor. 13:4-7; Prov. 15:1; Eph. 4:2
1. What is to motivate our words?
2. Read 1 Corinthians 13, changing the word "love" for "my words."

[Judy Harder]

July 12

Single soul in two bodies
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 22:10-16
"He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend." (v.11)

The next pillar of wisdom to occupy our attention is that of friendship.
The wise are those who know how to make friends. The book of Proverbs emphasizes the whole area of relationships - love and respect for parents, love for one's spouse and so on - but it pays particular attention to the matter of friendship. Why is friendship such an important theme in Proverbs? What exactly is friendship? How do we go about the task of developing good friendships? These are some of the questions we must come to grips with over the next few days. First - what exactly is friendship? Many years ago a Christian magazine offered a prize for the best definition of friendship sent in by its readers. Of the thousands of answers received the one that received first prize was this: "A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out." One way I describe friendship is this: "Friendship is the knitting of one soul with another so that both become stronger and better by virtue of their relationship." Another definition of friendship by an ancient philosopher is "a single soul dwelling in two bodies." The word "friendship" is usually applied to non-sexual relationships between people of the same sex, but of course it can be applied equally to people of opposite sexes. It goes without saying, I think, that romantic relationships like courtship and marriage ought to contain and demonstrate the qualities of friendship, and it is sad when married partners live together without also being the closest of friends. One's life partner ought to be one's best friend.
Prayer:

Father, teach me the art of making friends. Help me see at the very beginning that being a friend is more important than having a friend. Save me from getting the wrong perspective on this. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study

Eccl. 4:1-10; Psa. 119:63-64
1. What is the value of a friend?
2. What was the psalmist's attitude?

[Judy Harder]

July 13

Synergism
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 17:1-17
"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." (v.17)

We continue further with the point we made yesterday that in friendship we find the creation of a new energy that was never there before. The word that is often used to describe this is "synergism." It simply means that the whole is greater than the sum of its two parts. Synergy is seen everywhere in nature. If you put two plants close together, the roots mingle with one another and improve the quality of the soil so that both plants will grow better than they would if they had been separated. When you put two pieces of wood together, they hold much more than the total of the weight held by each separately. One plus one equals three or more. Stephen Covey describes synergism in this way: "' the relationship which the parts have to each other is a part in and of itself. It is not only a part, but the most catalytic, the most empowering, the most unifying, and the most exciting part." This is why, when understood correctly, friendship is quite frightening because you don't quite know what exactly is going to happen or where it will lead. Christians, of course, who bring their friendships under the authority of God and His Word need not be frightened of anything that comes, for they have - or should have - an internal security which enables them to handle anything and everything. A friendship can be frightening, exciting and at times exhausting. But it can also open up new possibilities, new trails, new adventures, new territories and new continents. We live deprived lives if we live without friends.
Prayer:

Father, I see that I am made for relationships, not isolation. Help me understand this principle of synergism and how it can work to the extension of Your Kingdom. This I ask in Jesus' precious and incomparable Name. Amen.

For Further Study
2 Tim. 1:1-16; Rom. 16:1-16; Phil. 1:4-5
1. What did Paul say of Onesiphorus?
2. How did Paul describe his relationship to the Philippians?

[Judy Harder]

July 14

A friend with skin on
For reading & meditation - Proverbs 27:17-27
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (v.17)

Sometimes I hear Christians say, "Why do I need friends? God is my friend - isn't that enough?" Such a statement demonstrates a complete misunderstanding of the purpose of human relationships. Yes, we need God as our Friend - our close and most intimate Friend - but, as I once heard a little boy put it, "We need friends with skin on also." You won't know who you are until you are in a relationship. Paul Tillich, a well-known theologian, made the same point: "You don't really know yourself until you are put over against someone other than yourself." You see, if no one ever reflects to you how you come across, never challenges your views, never confronts you, never encourages you to talk out your problems, then parts of you remain undiscovered. Others can do that, of course, who are not friends, but it is best done by someone who knows you best. My favorite definition of a friend is: "someone who knows all there is to know about you and loves you just the same." Looking back on my life, I can see how valuable my friends have been to me. Because I have felt safe with them, I have been able to reveal myself and in the revealing I have come to know myself in a way that I could never have done with a mere acquaintance. Yes, we need God as our friend, but we need human friends also. This might be difficult for some to accept, but the more effectively we relate on a horizontal level with our human friends, the more effectively we will relate on a vertical level with our heavenly Friend.
Prayer:

Father, I see that my best friend is someone who brings out the best in me. Help me to be a best friend to someone - and bring out the best in that person. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For Further Study
John 11:1-36; 13:23; James 2:23
1. What did the onlookers say of Jesus' relationship to Lazarus?
2. How is Abraham described?