Every Day Light

[Judy Harder]

June 9



Why is trust difficult?
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 28:18-28
"He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." (v.26)

Why is it that some people find it so difficult to trust? Many have said to me: "My problem is I find it so hard to trust." A person who finds it difficult to trust on a human level often finds it difficult to trust on a spiritual level. Trust is a learned response and we begin learning it the moment we arrive in this world. A newborn child arrives in the world with a good deal of vulnerability and among other things has to learn the art of developing trust. If parents are loving, reliable, predictable and trustworthy the child soon gets the idea: "I can trust these people who are looking after me. They don't always respond the way I would like them to but generally they are there for me when I need them." If, however, there is no reliable and consistent input of love and affection into a child's personality in the early years, if the parents are unconcerned and unpredictable, the child gets the idea: "People are not to be trusted." And in cases where parents are not just unconcerned, but downright cruel and abusive, the development of a basic trust is hard and difficult; some would say impossible. My experience in counselling shows that people with an inability to trust are usually those who experienced serious deprivation, abuse or cruelty in their early developmental years. This is no reason to despair, however, for in Christ we have a new parent and a new parentage. He enables us to overcome whatever difficulties there may be in our past.
Prayer:

Father, help my focus to be not on what has been, but on what can be, and what will be, when I am rightly related to You. I have grown up physically; now help me grow up spiritually. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For further study:
Romans 8:1-11; Psalms 31:19
1. What is removed from those who trust in the Lord?
2. What surrounds those who trust the Lord?

[Judy Harder]

June 10

How to forgive

For reading & meditation: Proverbs 30:21-33
"' as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife." (v.33)

If difficulties concerning basic trust on a natural level can hinder our ability to trust at a spiritual level, how do we as Christians overcome this? The first thing we must do is demonstrate a willingness to forgive those who hurt us. "That's hard," you might say. My reply is: "Yes, in the case of those who have been badly let down, it is hard - but not impossible." Here's how you do it. Focus first on how much you have been forgiven. The key to forgiving others is to enter into a realized awareness of how much God has forgiven you. When people say to me during a counselling session, "My problem is that I can't forgive," I usually respond by saying, "No, that's not your problem. Your problem is that you dont know how much you have been forgiven." It may be difficult for some to see this, especially those who have gone through deep hurt, but nothing others have done to you is as awful as what you have done to God. If you have difficulty with the last statement, it is because you do not understand the nature of sin. Sin is taking the Creator of the universe and relegating Him to irrelevance; it is saying to the One who made us - "I can run my life on my own terms." Sin is insanity - and you and I have been guilty of that. Yet in Christ God has forgiven us, pardoned us, and bestowed upon us His royal favor. Having been given such forgiveness, can we, dare we, withhold it from anyone who has betrayed our trust, no matter how horrifying that hurt has been?
Prayer:

Father, Your Word is frank and open - help me to respond to it in the same way. Take from me every biting hesitancy, every fear and apprehension, every refusal to accept responsibility. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

For further study:
Colossians 3:1-14; Mark 11:25; Luke 17:4; Ephesians 4:32
1. How are we to forgive?
2. Do you need to forgive someone today?
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[Judy Harder]

June 11

My way - or God's way
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 14:1-13
"There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death." (v.12)

T he second step we need to take in order to rid ourselves of the things that hinder our ability to trust is the recognition of the fact that, having been let down by others, we have determined in our hearts that we will never trust another person again. The determination never to trust another person again may be a human reaction, but it is not a Christian one. I have heard many people say, "I can trust God but I can't trust people." But Christianity is all about relating to people. The essence of reality is passionate, other-centered relationships, as is evidenced by the perfect relationships of the Trinity, in whose image we are made. If we draw back from others because we are afraid of being betrayed, then what we are saying is this: "I can't trust God enough to hold me when others let me down." Those, therefore, who say, "I can trust God and I can't trust people," are not making sense. It is more honest to say, "I can't trust God and I can't trust people." What we ought to be saying, if we really believe the truths of the New Testament and are willing to give ourselves to them, is this: "I can trust God to hold me when I relate to others, irrespective of whether I am accepted or rejected." The determination to stay self-protected is evidence that our trust is not what it should be. We must bring this self-protective determination to preserve our own soul before God in an act of repentance, and resolve that no matter how others may treat us, our trust will be confidently placed in Him.

Prayer:

O Father, I must ask myself: Can I trust You enough to hold me when others do not come through for me? The determination to stay safe seems so right, yet it is so wrong. I turn from my way to Your way. Hold me secure. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For further study:
Job 13:1-15; 1 Chronicles 28:20; Psalms 125:1
1. What was Job able to say?
2. What did David say to his son Solomon?
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[Judy Harder]

June 12

Is trust idealistic?
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 29:19-27
"Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." (v.25)

Sometimes someone says to me: "Isn't it idealistic to expect me to be vulnerable to further hurt after I have been let down and betrayed?" My answer is to point them to Jesus. If He can do it, then so can we - providing we depend on His strength and not ours. Our Lord knows better than anyone what it means to be let down and betrayed. In all the heaped up pain of His passion, few things would have hurt Him more than being betrayed by His disciples. Did our Lord's experience of Peter's denial cause Him to conclude: "Never again will I trust that man"? Come with me to Galilee and let us see. Simon Peter, no doubt feeling disillusioned, returns to his trade as a fisherman, whereupon Jesus pursues him and puts Himself in a position of being hurt once again. He says to Peter, "Do you love Me?" using the strong Greek word for love - agape. Peter responds, "Yes, Lord; You know that I love You," using the weaker Greek word for love - philia (John 21:1516, NKJV). How would you feel, do you think, if you plucked up courage to say to someone who had already let you down. "Do you love me?" and he or she responded: "Well, I like you." Would you not feel hurt, wounded, perhaps slightly rejected? I think Jesus must have felt most keenly the thrust of Peter's words, yet He did not allow it to deter Him from continuing, even pursuing, the relationship. That's what I mean by vulnerability. That's what I mean by love.
Prayer:

Father, is it possible that You can make me so secure that I, too, am able to be vulnerable in my relationships? I must believe it; I do believe it. Help me to demonstrate it in every relationship I am called by You to pursue. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For further study:
Matthew 26:31-35,69-75; John 21:7-19
1. What was Peter entrusted with?
2. What did Peter declare?
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[Judy Harder]

June 13

Yours trustingly
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 11:25-31
"Whoever trusts in his riches will fall '" (v.28)

What have we been saying about the important issue of trust? Trust is an essential ingredient in our relationships - both human and divine. The reason we can demonstrate trust in all our earthly relationships is because we recognize that there is One who is governing our lives. We can give ourselves to others knowing that even though they let us down He will hold us in His arms and not allow us to be destroyed. Notice carefully what I say here, because many Christians hold God to promises He never made and then get disappointed when He doesn't come through for them. God does not promise to keep us from being hurt in our relationships, but He does promise to keep us from being destroyed. The more you trust in God, the more effective you will be in your relationships with others. Because your ultimate trust is in God, you will be free from unconscious manipulative techniques and, drawing your security from Him, you can give yourself more freely to others. "Love does not begin," someone has said, "until you expect nothing in return." When your trust is wholly in the Lord, you can love like that. If you have never done so before, decide now to put in God's hands all the hurts and betrayals of the past. Forgive all those who have let you down. Lift up your head and look into the face of the One who will never betray you. Give Him all your trust. And, I say again, keep in mind that trust is not only an essential posture of life; it is the first step in wisdom. The wise are those who trust.
Prayer:

O God, break down any last barrier that may be hindering me from putting my trust fully in You. I would have the doors of my spirit turn out, not in. Help me begin and end every day by saying, "Yours trustingly." In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For further study:
Proverbs 11:25-31; Jeremiah 17:5-8
1. What did the psalmist compare himself to when he trusted in God's love?
2. What happens to the man who relies on other people for his strength?

[Judy Harder]

June 14

Another pillar of wisdom
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 10:9-17
"The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out." (v.9)

We turn now to look at what I consider to be the second pillar of wisdom - integrity. This theme, like trust, is one that is continually emphasised in Proverbs for, as we shall see, no one can be truly successful in life without integrity. The dictionary defines integrity as: "wholeness, soundness, trustworthiness, uprightness, honesty." You can see at once that there is a moral quantity about integrity and that morality is an essential characteristic of wisdom. One of the mistakes many people make when thinking about wisdom is to confuse it with learning, intelligence, brilliance or cleverness. How many times do we read in our newspapers of those who have climbed the ladder of success, have been highly educated or have achieved great prominence in the world, only to see them come tumbling down because of some moral indiscretion? Many professional people have a great deal of knowledge but lack wisdom. For example, you see this in the marriage counselor who, in spite of all his credentials, can't hold his own marriage together; in the economist who goes bankrupt playing the stock market; in the preacher who shocks his congregation by running off with a young woman. Learning, understanding, intelligence and professional training are important - dont hear me demean them - but if we are to be experts in the art of living, as Proverbs sets out to teach us, then we must see that without wisdom the things I have listed don't count for too much. "The simplicity of integrity is the profundity of wisdom," says Paul Larsen. How true! How very true!

Prayer:

O God, give me, in addition to trust, a high degree of integrity. I want not only to trust others but I want them to trust me. You know my need and also my desire. Grant me these facets of wisdom. In Jesus' Name I ask it. Amen.

For further study:
Psalms 41:1-13; 1 Samuel 12:3-4; Proverbs 11:3
1. What does the integrity of the upright do?
2. What did the people testify of Samuel?
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[Judy Harder]

June 15

I would rather be right
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 8:1-11
"For wisdom is more precious than rubies, and nothing you desire can compare with her" (v.11)

We continue with the thought that another aspect of wisdom is integrity. Both the universe and we are alien to untruth and dishonesty. The universe is made for the same thing we are made for - righteousness. Not only the face of the Lord, but the face of the universe, is set against those who try to go some other way. No scientist can get very far without integrity. If he tampers with the laws that govern the universe, then he comes out looking foolish. He must sit down before the facts of the universe, and if he is to be successful, whatever he does has to be based on a prior commitment to honor and truthfulness. Without integrity, all learning becomes evil. Charles Spurgeon wrote to the then Prime Minister of Britain, William Gladstone, in these words: "You do not know how those of us regard you who feel it a joy to live when a Prime Minister believes in righteousness. We believe in no man's infallibility but it is restful to be sure of one man's integrity." What makes us so suspicious of politicians, even though politics can be a noble profession, is not that they might make some mistakes, but that sometimes staying in office is more important to them than honor and candor. Henry Clay, when about to introduce to the American Congress a bill that was heavily weighted in favor of morality, was told, "If you do this, it will kill your chances of becoming president." His reply was, "I would rather be right than be president." I can almost see King Solomon's head nodding in favor of that.

For further study:
Proverbs 8:1-11; 2 Sam. 18:1-33; 1 Kings 13:8; 2 Kings 5:16
1. What is one of the marks of integrity?
2. How do you display integrity?
.

[Judy Harder]

June 16



The worst thing
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 28:18-28
"He whose walk is blameless is kept safe, but he whose ways are perverse will suddenly fall." (v.18)

We said yesterday that both we and the universe are made for integrity and that both the universe and we are alien to untruth and dishonesty. The whole thrust of the universe which God designed and created is simple, uncomplicated, and built on truth. There are great mysteries, of course, but no lies. Scientific laws are upheld by truth. Gravity, for example, will not lie; it is as true in one country as it is in another, as reliable in Jerusalem as it is in Japan. It has often been pointed out that the word "evil" is the word "live" spelled backwards. Satan delights to take what God does and try to reverse it - to move life in the opposite way to that in which it was designed to go. Satan is a liar (John 8:44), and lies are always roundabout, complicated and deceiving. The fact that the universe is built on truth can be verified by the simple device known as a "lie detector." The lie detector test works on the basis that people who tell lies and know they are telling lies become extremely anxious and uncomfortable, and this anxiety is then picked up by the machine. But why does telling a lie make a person anxious? Because we are built for truth, and any departure from it registers on the inside in a way that can be picked up on the outside. A lie detector is not infallible and can sometimes (though not often) be fooled. But what cannot be fooled is the soul of the person who is lying. The worst thing about being a liar is to be the person telling the lie.
Prayer:

Father, help me lay hold of the fact that a lie demeans me, but the truth develops me. I cannot live successfully by a lie any more than I can fling myself out of the window and defy gravity. May I be a person of truth. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

For further study:
Psalms 101:1-8; Matthew 17:17; 1 Timothy 6:3-10
1. List some of the aspects of integrity to which David committed himself.
2. What did Paul highlight as one area where integrity is compromised?

[Judy Harder]

June 17

Can a lie be justified?
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 19:1-9
"A false witness will not go unpunished and he who pours out lies will perish." (v.9)

Will the universe sustain a lie? Today the Church is being inundated with a philosophy called "situational ethics" which would have us believe that sometimes a lie can be right. I think that is a deadly and diabolical doctrine. A lie is never right - no matter what attempts we might make to justify it. "God is not a man, that he should lie," says the Scripture in Numbers 23:19, and in 1 John 2:21 we read, "' no lie comes from the truth." God cannot lie and He will never delegate to you the task of lying for Him. When we take dishonesties into our lives we take fire into our lives - here and hereafter: "' all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone" (Rev. 21:8, NKJV). "Situational ethics" proponents come up with all kinds of possible scenarios, such as: "What if someone came to your house to murder a member of your family and asked if that person was in. Would it not be right to lie in those circumstances?" Can you see the thrust of this question? It is the argument, "This is what we ought to do because it makes sense." But once we view sin as an "ought," it is magically turned into something that is "good." The Bible does not teach that anyone in any situation ought to sin. 1 Corinthians 10:13 teaches that because God is faithful, we will never find ourselves in a situation where we must sin, but there will always be a way of escape. God never calls upon us to break one of His laws in order to keep another.
Prayer:

O Father, in a world that seems to be always looking for excuses and exceptions, help me to steer my life by the clear statements of Your revealed will. I dont want to measure up to exceptions; I want to conform to the rules - Your rules. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

For further study:
John 8:31-47; Colossians 3:9; Revelation 21:8
1. Who did Jesus say is the source of lies?
2. What was Paul's exhortation to the Colossians?

[Judy Harder]

June 18


Two important facts
For reading & meditation: Proverbs 6:12-19
"There are six things the Lord hates ' a false witness who pours out lies '" (vv.16, 19)

We return to the question we raised yesterday: What if someone came to your house to murder a member of your family and asked if that person was in? Would it not be right to lie in such circumstances? The "situational ethics" people would say "Yes." The Bible, in my opinion, says, "No." Situational ethics is notorious for coming up with hypothetical situations in which a person must sin because that is what ought to be done. But once we view sin as a "must" and an "ought," we are finished. A Christian view of ethics rejects every constructed situation which the situational ethics people advance because it fails to take into account two important biblical facts. First - God's sovereignty. God will always make a way for His people to avoid sinning. Second - the Holy Spirit's power. The believer is encouraged not to worry about what to say in difficult situations. "At that time you will be given what to say" (Matt. 10:19). Also, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding" (Prov. 3:5). God is not ignorant or stupid. He did not fail to see that sometimes His laws would seem to contradict one another. He knew full well that there would be occasions when it might seem prudent from a human point of view to violate one of His principles, hence His promise to us in 1 Corinthians 10:13. Those who try to excuse the breaking of any of God's moral laws on the pretext that it feels "right" or seems "good" sow the seeds of disruption in their own inner being. It is not the way of wisdom.
Prayer:

Father, Forgive us that so often we prefer human wisdom to divine wisdom simply because it "feels" right. Help us to trust Your Word even when it runs counter to our own feelings. In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen.

For further study:
Psalms 116:1-19; Micah 6:12; Romans 3:13
1. What conclusion had the psalmist come to?
2. How does Paul communicate God's abhorrence of lies?