Encouragement for Today

[Judy Harder]

January 26, 2010

Words of Life or Death

Melanie Chitwood

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences."  Proverbs 18:21 (NLT)

Devotion:

I often hear my husband Scott say something to my sons that brings a smile to my face.  "Have you told your mom you love her today? Don't ever forget you have the best mom in the world." When I hear him praise me to our sons, I feel encouraged and appreciated.   From my husband's example, I've learned to be careful about the words I say not only to my husband but also about my husband.   

Today's verse tells us our words can bring "death or life."  In our marriages, this means our words can either tear down our spouses or build them up.  I've been noticing lately if I'm more likely to say words such as, "I'm married to the greatest man."  Or do my words tend to be critical, such as, "I told you so," or "You don't even try to understand me"?   What about you and your words to your husband?  When you speak to your husband, do you fill him up with praise or make him feel like he's not measuring up?

Now let's consider the words we say about our husbands to others.  What kind of things do you say about your husband to your children, best friend, sister, or mother?  I tend to be a venter when I am angry or frustrated with my husband.  Sometimes I turn to others because I'm seeking validation for my angry feelings.  Often I vent when I haven't taken the time first to deal with the situation with God.  I'm learning that if I go to the Lord first in prayer, pouring out my heart to Him, He changes my heart and brings me to a place of repentance and calmness.  Then I'm able to let go of my anger and move on or talk to my husband in a loving manner.

Scripture gives plenty of evidence that God's words have the power of life. In Genesis we're told God created every inch of the world with His spoken words. John 1:1 tells us that Jesus is the Word. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus heals countless people with the power of His words. In a similar manner, God wants our words to bring life to our marriages. We can choose what we will sow—words of life or words of death—and we will reap the consequences many times over.

So will you take some time today to consider the words you use to and about your spouse? Use today's application steps to fill up your husband with words of life.

Dear Lord, let my words to my spouse and about my spouse draw us closer to one another.  Teach me to communicate in ways that build my husband up. Help me hold my tongue when I'm about to say something that will tear him down. If pride, stubbornness, selfishness, or any other sin is preventing me from speaking words of life in our marriage, Lord, I confess that right now.  Make me aware of any words of death I've spoken in our marriage, and as the Holy Spirit brings those to my mind, help me confess and turn from them, especially any words of divorce.  Break any curse on our marriage from hurtful, angry, or destructive words.  Guided by Your wisdom and love, may our words to and about one another build a protective wall around our marriage.  In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

Today's devotion is adapted from Melanie's new book What a Wife Needs from Her Husband


For more marriage encouragement visit Melanie's blog - What Matters Most

30 Days to Taming Your Tongue and accompanying Workbook by Deborah Smith Pegues

Application Steps:

Considering the list below, which words do you speak most frequently to your husband, "words of life" or "words of death"?  Plan on blessing your husband with at least one phrase from the "words of life" suggestions. 

Words of Life

I appreciate how hard you work.

You are an incredible husband.

You have great insight.

I'm really looking forward to going out with you.

I'm sorry.

I was wrong.

Will you forgive me?

Thank you.

I understand.

Words of Death

You never listen to me.

You just don't get it.

I told you so.

You should have...

I wish you could just try to understand me for once.

How could you think that?

Why did I ever marry you?

We'd be better off divorced.

Reflections: 

What situations tend to cause you to speak "words of death" to your husband? What's a different way to handle these situations?

Are there certain words you need to make off-limits in your marriage?

In what other relationships do you need to practice speaking "words of life"?

Power Verses:

Ephesians 4:29, "Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift." (MSG)

Psalm 19:14, "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer." (NLT)

© 2010 by Melanie Chitwood. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

January 27, 2010

Little Decisions Make a Big Difference

Glynnis Whitwer

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise ...."

Ephesians 5:15 (NIV)
       
Devotion:

Do you ever get tired of making decisions?  I do. Every day, decisions line up for my attention. I decide what I'm going to do, how I'll spend my money, and what I'm going to say.  Conversely, I make decisions about what I am NOT going to do, spend or say.

One of the biggest challenges I face right now has to do with what I eat.  You see, I'm on Weight Watchers.  For the past 18 years, I've battled to be at a healthy weight.  Coincidentally, my oldest child is 18.  I'm certainly not blaming him...but, I'm just saying...

The first week on the program I recorded a respectable loss of 1.5 pounds.  The second week on the program, I lost nothing.  I was shocked.  It seemed I had exercised and sacrificed more that week than ever. But the scale told the truth. 

The kind lady at the reception desk tried to help me think it through.  "Maybe you aren't eating enough," she said.  No, that wasn't the problem.  "Are you drinking enough water?" she asked.  Yes; that wasn't the problem either.

Then it hit me. The problem wasn't what I was eating when I sat down for a meal, it was all the bites that led up to that meal.  It was the French fry before dinner, and the bite of casserole as I put away the leftovers after dinner.  It was the nibble of my son's double cheeseburger, and the extra scoop of dip with my carrots. No, it wasn't the big decisions that hurt my weight loss; it was all the little decisions.

Unfortunately, I had minimized in my mind the potential damage of all those little bites.  Yet they added up to derail me from my goal of losing weight that week. The next week I took control of those BLTs (bites, licks, tastes and sips) and had a nice loss.

As I've pondered this reality, I've applied it to other areas of my life.  I easily minimize the damage of daily unwise decisions.  They aren't sin issues, so I can dismiss them as unimportant.  However, when added up, they have a big impact on achieving some of my personal goals.  For example, when I make a decision to not read my Bible for one day, there's no noticeable impact.  But when I neglect this important part of my spiritual growth repeatedly, I find myself lacking in godly wisdom and discernment. 

If you find yourself on a plateau in a certain area of your life, perhaps this truth can apply to you as well.  You may be making all the right big decisions, but the little ones are having a cumulative negative impact on you.

Not only that, but I believe God desires to do amazing things through us, and is continually testing us to see if we can handle bigger responsibilities.  It's in the arena of little responsibilities that our true dependability is revealed.  The truth is those little decisions that seem minor, and inconsequential, really do matter.  They matter to me as I pursue personal goals, and they matter to God.

My challenge today is to make every decision count. I ask myself, "Is this decision going to get me closer to my goal, or further away from it?"  "Is this decision going to show God I can be trusted with the little things?"

Sometimes I ask this question every hour.  Which is why I ate steamed vegetables for dinner, and my family had overstuffed burritos.  (Not that it's Thursday night and I'm weighing in Friday morning or anything.)
                                                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, thank You for caring about every detail of my life.  I know You have placed goals and dreams in my heart that will take diligence to carry out.  Help me to look to You when faced with a decision, and I pray for Your wisdom as I make the right choice. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

P31 Woman magazine

Visit Glynnis' blog  where she shares her top 10 list of important little decisions to make. 

6 Habits of Highly Effective Christians by Brian T. Anderson & Glynnis Whitwer

Dear Bathroom Scale, an excerpt from the P31 Woman magazine

Application Steps: 

Identify one big goal you have for your life.  Name one helpful "little" decision you can make that will help you achieve that goal. 

Reflections: 

What are some examples of little decisions we make every day that can impact us positively over time?

Have you ever made a series of innocent choices that led you down the wrong path?  What did you learn from that experience?

Power Verses:

Ephesians 5:8-10, "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord." (NIV)

Colossians 1:10-11, "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience..." (NIV)

© 2010 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

January 28, 2010

Lord, this is a Mess

Lysa TerKeurst

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness..."

Romans 8:26 (NIV)
       
Devotion:

Have you ever been in a situation that seemed like such a mess you simply couldn't make sense of it? Like trying to straighten out a tangled necklace, you wonder how in heavens' name did all these knots get kinked and twisted and pulled so tight. And in the midst of trying to untangle a knot on one side you inadvertently form another on the other end.

It's frustrating when this happens with a piece of jewelry. And it's even more frustrating when it happens in relationships.

The other day I sat down to pray about a messy relationship and the knots were so consuming I couldn't even begin to make sense of it all. I didn't even know what to pray. I kept trying to think of wise words to offer up to the Lord that would surely unlock pieces and parts of this mess. But I was completely without a drop of insight. All I could see was a mess.

So, that's all I prayed, "Lord, this is a mess."

And then I just sat quietly and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

All that waiting time makes a doing girl like me feel like my nerves are going to bust out of my skin and start yanking my limbs into action. So, with all my might, I made myself sit and say nothing at all except, "Lord, this is a mess." And you know what? It was really hard to sit there with no answers. No wise words to pray. My usually very verbal self couldn't express anything but, "Lord, this is a mess."

I believe it's situations like this for which Romans 8:26-28 was written:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (NIV).

In our weakness we can't objectively search our mind and spirit. And often in our weakness we can't untangle our knots according to God's will. We are too intertwined in emotion and assumption. That's why sometimes it's best if we just simply sit quietly and let the Spirit do some groaning, untangling and working on our behalf.

Like verse 28 says, there is good to come out of this. God is working and will work good out of this mess. Sometimes I think the only thing standing between our mess and His good work from it is our need to sit quietly. In the quiet beautiful things happen:

We calm down.
We create some white space between our harsh reaction and the way we'd want to react if we really thought things through first.
We can ask God to intervene with real wisdom instead of our assumptions.
God can show us where we need to change.  We can't control the other person and parking our efforts toward trying will exhaust us.  But we can let God help us change, which will create positive progress.  (For more great things that can happen in the quiet, visit Lysa's blog linked below.)
I can't help but notice that the first four letters of Messiah spell mess. We need Him. Only the Messiah can take our mess and turn it into a untangled message of hope, forgiveness, and ultimately love.
                                                                                                                                                                     
Dear Lord, this is a mess. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Visit Lysa's blog for a list of 10 great things that can happen in the quiet

Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa TerKeurst

Am I Messing Up My Kids?...and Other Questions Every Mom Asks  - a new book by Lysa TerKeurst. This is an expanded, updated version of her previous title, "The Bathtub is Overflowing But I Feel Drained."

Application Steps: 

The next time I'm in the midst of a mess, where is a quiet place I can sit with the Lord?  How can I plan now to not react in the moment? 

What are some personal benefits that would happen if I heeded this advice and stopped rushing in to fix things, but rather gave God time to speak to my heart?

Reflections: 

What relationship do I have in my life that seems to get tangled up and messy most often? 

What are some ways I might need to change?

Power Verses:

Psalm 46:10a, "Be still, and know that I am God." (NIV) 

Romans 8:26b, "We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." (NIV)

© 2010 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

January 29, 2010

Multi-tasking Mayhem

Karen Ehman

"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands; deliver me from my enemies and from those who pursue me."

Psalm 31:14-15 (NIV)

Devotion:

"Mom, quick...look at that lady!" My fourteen-year-old-in-driver's-education-child shouted at me as we were headed down Michigan's US-27 interstate on an errand-running Thursday afternoon. "She should not be doing that," he added for emphasis. 

I glanced over at the car next to us, expecting to see someone without her hands gripped properly at the ten and two o'clock positions like my by-the-rulebook-boy does when he is behind the wheel. Instead, I nearly ran off the road while gawking at what my resident Driver's Ed patrolman had spotted.

Next to us was a woman who was doing all of the following: talking on a cell phone by cradling it on her right shoulder, holding an open fast-food salad container in her left hand, ripping open a salad dressing packet with her teeth and her right hand...all while steering her car with her knees! What in the world!? My boys and I thought surely, if she kept up this multi-tasking method of driving, she was going to cause a crash.

"I would NEVER attempt to do all of that when I drive", I smugly thought to myself.  "Entirely too dangerous and probably against the law." Yep, when it comes to being a safe-driving etiquette expert, the apple doesn't fall far from the "Honey-you-didn't-use-your-blinker-back-there" maternal tree.

It wasn't until later that night that it hit me. Yes, I may not try to dangerously multi-task when it comes to driving my car, thereby putting myself and others at risk of a collision. But in my day-to-day life? In my schedule? In my "sure-I-can-take-on-one-more-responsibility-so-everyone-will-like-me" way? Well, I sometimes dangerously multi-task to the point where I too am headed for a crash.

God nudged my heart a few years back, after dealing with some stress-related medical conditions that would not go away, that I needed to do a major plate scraping in my life. Taking on too many responsibilities, no matter how "good" they may be, can often render women ineffective for service to God. He knows our limits. He understands are capacities. He is willing, if we will ask Him, to help us navigate the waters of busyness and activity that often drown many a woman.

On one of my so-busy-I-couldn't-breathe days, I read today's verse. While I'm sure that the author David was talking about actual physical enemies -- men who could chase you, catch you and ultimately hurt you - I thought that day of busyness as the enemy. Too many activities and responsibilities outside of my four walls were about to do me in. They chased me, they cornered me and worst of all, they were about to go in for the kill.

Thankfully, God rescued me from the barren life of busyness. And He can do the same for you. He's longing for us to hold our too-full plates up to Him, scrape off all the activities and responsibilities, and then, place back on our plates only the items HE longs for us to possess.

Then, we can create white space in our calendar and places of sweet respite in our days where we can connect with the God of the universe who is just waiting for us to slow down and sit still; to listen and learn from the very Creator of time itself.

So, how about it friend? Rubber spatula ready? Keep reading below and let's start scraping before we crash and burn!

Dear Lord, Forgive me for allowing busyness to overtake my life, crowding out others and worst of all You. Help me as I purpose to place only those items on my plate that You long for me to have. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

To discover more on this topic and enter to win an organizational giveaway centered around Karen's book on time and home management, visit Karen's blog

The Complete Guide to Getting and Staying Organized by Karen Ehman

A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

Do You Know Him?

Application Steps:

List on paper all the commitments you have said yes to outside of your job or home responsibilities. Catalog approximately how much time you devote to them each week. Pray about what you discover.

Reflections: 

What activities and responsibilities have I said "Yes" to that I know in my heart I shouldn't have?

How can I thin out my optional tasks and duties, freeing up more time for the places where God wants me to focus my efforts?

Power Verses:

Matthew 6:33-34, "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." (ESV)

Genesis 2:2, "And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done." (ESV)

© 2010 by Karen Ehman. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

February 1, 2010

Acts of Mercy

Ariel Allison Lawhon, She Reads Assistant Director

"He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:8 (NIV)
       
Devotion:

My brother got off the plane with a child in each arm, and two trailing behind. He'd gone to Africa for three children - orphaned by civil war in Liberia - and came home with four.

A chance encounter in a poverty stricken village left him with a choice to make: rescue a starving baby or leave her to die. So when the young mother thrust her child into his arms, he promised that he would be a father to her. He made the decision without weighing the pros and cons or even consulting his wife. Mercy!

He spent the next two weeks spoon feeding his emaciated child, changing malaria-ridden diapers, and carrying her around in a baby sling. Not to mention keeping the other three children in tow. When he finally arrived in Nashville, a crowd of fifty friends and family greeted him with tears and applause. To see mercy first hand is to weep.

Merriam Webster's dictionary defines mercy in three ways:

"A compassion or forbearance shown to an offender."

"A blessing that is an act of divine favor or compassion."

"Compassionate treatment of those in distress."

Mercy. It is something that God longs for us to lavish on others. Not just orphans on another continent, but the people in our homes as well. Those in our workplaces. Those in our churches. Strangers on a bus.

I often think of what my brother did in that moment, not because I'm faced with such extreme choices, but because my days are filled with countless opportunities to show mercy. A kind word to my defiant toddler. A welcoming smile when my husband is late for dinner, again. Sitting in silence with the friend who's just had her fifth consecutive miscarriage. Forgiveness when I'd rather hold a grudge. 

For She Reads featured author Tom Davis, mercy means being an advocate to the fatherless by caring for AIDS orphans in Africa. But for you it could mean mentoring, giving, volunteering, or sponsoring a child.

It may mean writing a check so earthquake victims have clean drinking water and medical care. Or extending mercy might require you to get your hands dirty locally at a homeless shelter, or nursing home. Or mercy might mean choosing not to end an unplanned pregnancy.

Regardless, when we act justly and love mercy, we show the world that God is real. It's a lesson I learned first hand by watching my brother.

Today my niece is a beautiful, healthy five-year-old with no memories of her near death experience. The starvation and malaria that threatened to claim her are long gone. She laughs and dances and believes that her daddy is the kindest man on earth. But for a single act of mercy, her story could have ended in the dust of Africa.

What choice will you make today when faced with the chance to love mercy?
                                                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, make us a people full of mercy. May I act with justice not only in the big moments of life, but behind closed doors as well. Help me love when I want to hate. Help me give when I want to keep. And bestow on me the grace to be Jesus-with-skin-on to a lost and dying world. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Him?

She Reads author Tom Davis knows what it means to walk into the darkest places on earth and show mercy. His novel Scared is the semi-biographical story of years spent working with AIDS orphans in Africa. The novel is a current She Reads selection - visit the site to learn more about the novel and enter today's giveaway:

Enter to win a grand prize - a custom journal like the one in the novel and a copy of Scared. Two other winners will each receive a copy of the novel.

Scared: A Novel on the Edge of the World by Tom Davis

Application Steps:

Find some way to show mercy to someone today. Visit Compassion International.

Reflections: 

Pray that God will show you a specific person who needs your mercy, and then offer it with no strings attached.

Ask God how you can be a blessing to someone you know, and someone you don't.

Pray that God will make you into a person who acts justly, loves mercy, and walks humbly with Him.

Power Verses:

Matthew 23:23, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of your spices - mint, dill, and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law - justice, mercy, and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former." (NIV)

Zechariah 7:9, "This is what the Lord Almighty says: 'Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another." (NIV)

Matthew 5:7, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy." (NIV)

© 2010 by Ariel Allison Lawhon. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

February.2, 2010

In An Ordinary Coffee Shop

Marybeth Whalen

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."  Matthew 5:6 (NIV)
       
Devotion:

I sat down with my cup of green tea and breathed a sigh of relief. My kids were occupied for the morning and I was looking forward to the brief respite that I had coming. Three hours of quiet—no one asking me for anything, no one fighting, no one complaining. Just some good old-fashioned peace and quiet. I planned to make good use of my time by making an appointment to meet with God. But could I trust Him to show up?

I had originally planned to use this rare time alone to "get things done." I had even made a list of all that I hoped to accomplish. But after frustration with my kids, angry words exchanged with my husband, and a nagging feeling that something just wasn't right, I felt God whisper to my heart: Put away that list and spend some time with Me. I knew that was exactly what I should do.

The coffee shop was far from quiet. Loud jazz music played on the speakers and the voices of patrons and machines intruded on my thoughts at first. Could God speak over all the noise? I pulled out my journal and began to write how I felt, what was on my mind, and asked God to speak to me in the midst of this most ordinary of places.

I wrote down that I felt dry, barren, like my soul was cracking from lack of refreshment from Him. I confessed that I had not made time for Him like I should and that my soul felt the gap that had formed. And then I wrote "Speak Lord, for your servant is listening..." and I waited for Him to do just that.

I turned the page of my journal to find Psalm 107:9 written at the bottom of the next page: "For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." Astonished, I found the verse in my Bible and began to cross reference the word "thirsty." I had come thirsty. I had come dehydrated. I needed Him to water my soul.

And He did. Frantically I scribbled what He was speaking through His Word. Again and again that morning I was astonished and amazed by what His Word had to say—the many promises of what He would do for those of us who come thirsty. Two hours later, I closed my Bible and journal with a big smile on my face and a full tank of the joy that can only come from spending time with Abba. Like Moses stumbling upon a burning bush in an ordinary desert, I had had an encounter with the Living God in the midst of a most ordinary place.

Do you need Him to meet with you today? Are you wondering if He will keep the appointment? I can promise you that there was nothing special about the way I approached Him. I didn't have a magic formula or extra special direct line to Him. I simply came to Him thirsty—parched and desperate for His living water. I opened up my heart and my life to Him and then I listened to what He had to say. It was that simple and that complex all at the same time. I am grateful that I put away my to-do list, cleared my calendar for that morning and kept the appointment I had made. God showed up and changed my life all over again. All in an ordinary coffee shop.
                                                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, thank You for being the God Who Is Near. Thank You for meeting with me wherever and whenever I seek You. Thank You for Your word, which speaks to me, reminding me of Your promises and refilling my soul. I need Your living water, Lord. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Do You Know Him?

Journey to the Well by Diana Wallis Taylor

Come Thirsty: No Heart Too Dry for His Touch by Max Lucado
Visit Marybeth's blog

For the Write Reason General Editor Marybeth Whalen

Application Steps: 

Do you need to schedule a time to meet with God? The next time you find yourself with some time alone, consider resisting the urge to get things done but instead find a spot to get away with God. See what He does with that time and prepare to be amazed.

Reflections: 

How can you get creative with your time to make some for Him? Is there a to-do list you need to put aside?

Power Verses:

Psalm 63:1, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." (NIV) 

Psalm 107:35, "He turned the desert into pools of water and the parched ground into flowing springs." (NIV)

© 2010 by Marybeth Whalen. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

February 3, 2010

Heavenly GPS

T. Suzanne Eller

"After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone." Matthew 14:23 (NLT)
       
Devotion:

It was a drama-packed day. Jesus' cousin, John the Baptist, was dead because a drunken king chopped off his head. Jesus tried to get away to deal with the news, but crowds of people called his name.

Heal me! Feed me!

He healed the sick. He fed over 5,000 people with a few fish and loaves of bread. These miracles caused the crowd to press in closer, to shout louder and to demand more from Him. It also caused conflict.

He's our new king!

No; he's dangerous; kill him!

Sometimes life gets complex. Many times we just keep on going even though we are pulled between the demands of the people we love - Feed me! Love me! - with those feelings festering just under the surface.

But what happens when you arrive at ground zero emotionally because of loss or pain or fatigue?

What did Jesus do? When His day was finally done, Jesus hiked into the mountains to pray. He needed strength. He needed guidance. He needed to be refreshed spiritually and physically. Jesus settled in to talk to His father.   

I'll be honest. When I'm at that place, the temptation is to wrap up in my favorite blanket, turn on a mindless TV show, and veg.

But what waits for me in that alone place with God?

He knows us better than anyone else. He's willing to carry our burdens, soothe our hearts, and that prayer time becomes a shelter, an oasis where we are revived.  At that point it's not about the time we spend, or even the words that we say, but what we discover when we settle in.

Prayer becomes our heavenly GPS system.

An earthly GPS system contains atomic clocks that are accurate to a billionth of a second!  No matter where you are, it can find your location and give you direction.

Think about this: The God of the Universe is greater than any earthly GPS. God knows where you are, where you are headed emotionally, and how to recalculate so that you can find your way back to sanity, peace, and even to joy.

Dear Jesus, You know what it is to be emotionally and physically spent. You know what it is to hurt, to grieve, to long for quiet and peace and healing. Thank You that You understand how I feel, and that You carry my burden when it's too big for me to carry alone. I adore You.  In Your Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

The Woman I Am Becoming by T. Suzanne Eller

Fresh Grounded Faith: Devotions to Awaken Your Spirit by Jennifer Rothschild
Visit Suzie's blog today for a giveaway

For more encouragement, read The Most Important Time of My Day

P31 Woman magazine

Application Steps: 

Many of you, like me, probably talk to God throughout the day. But is there a sacred place set aside for you and God?

Don't set a time limit, or make it a duty.

Settle in with Him. Close the door.

Talk to Him about your day. Praise Him for His great love.

Breathe in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Don't rush it.

Let God do His work inside of You.

Reflections: 

Prayer is a spot where we go just as surely as a church sanctuary is a place. When we pray, we are going into a place built from words. Or at least it's a place where words are the parameters, the walls into which we enter. Phyllis Tickle

Power Verse:

Psalm 19:7, "The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple." (NLT)

Psalm 91:1-2, "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the LORD, 'My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom trust.'" (ESV)

© 2010 by T. Suzanne Eller. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G, Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

February 4, 2010

Mismatched Candlesticks

Karen Ehman

"Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. On the lips of him who has understanding, wisdom is found..." Proverbs 10:12-13a (ESV)
         
Devotion:

They are an odd, but pretty pair; the two candlesticks we have perched on the antique dresser in our master bedroom. While both are crafted from solid brass with similar round and sturdy bases, the shafts of each candlestick couldn't be less alike.

One is straight and streamlined; not at all fancy, just functional; with tall lines, direct and strong. The second is designed with a touch of flair; two equidistant strands of brass whirl and swirl side-by-side in a "look at me" manner, as they ascend to the top of the shaft that holds the candle in place. 

I found each candlestick at a different yard sale, both in the same month. While their styles aren't the same, somehow this eclectic pair is an interesting match. And more importantly, they are a constant visual reminder to my husband and me, providing a tangible picture of our marriage.

My husband is the first candlestick. No frills. Straight-forward. Only about function. I am the second one. Crazy. Winding. All over the map. Completely about fun. While we both are "forged from brass" in that we are followers of Christ with the same spiritual foundation, pair our opposite-end-of-the-spectrum personalities together and disaster could ensue. In fact, we often joke that if in our college-courting days, we would have been able to send our profiles to an online matchmaking website, instead of pairing us up with each other, the computer screen would have blinked a bright warning. DO NOT DATE!! TOTALLY NOT COMPATIBLE!

Beyond the normal male/female differences, we have a lot in our personalities that cause friction, conflict and sometimes (mostly from me) snapping and harsh words. In fact, it doesn't matter if it is in marriage, parenting or in a work or friendship situation, mismatched personalities can cause frustration, anger and at times, wounded feelings.

Someone who is not wired as we are, does not think like we do and who makes decisions and carries out actions we would never dream of, can just plain rub us the wrong way. It causes our feathers to ruffle and not-so-nice thoughts to invade our brains.

Usually, if dealing with a non-family member, we manage to keep our composure; tame our tongue; to not do or say anything in the midst of our frustration that we might later regret. With our children or spouses, however, sometimes we open the floodgates and spew out all sorts of cutting comments, nasty words, flying criticisms and awful accusations. My husband and I call it "throwing flesh balls." At that point, we are not "walking by the Spirit" but "gratifying the desires of the flesh" (Galatians 5:16).

My flesh just likes to be gratified sometimes and nothing gratifies it more than a good ole', all-out verbal assault on my "thinks-and-acts-so-different-from-me" husband. Instead, today's verse provides direction for how we should handle the inevitable conflicts that arise from trying to mesh two very differing personality types.

We shouldn't spew hate. We should seek to understand. We should ask God for wisdom. We should love. Not necessarily in an "ushy-gushy, touchy-feely" sort of way; but rather, in an, "I am going to choose to react gently and behave kindly because that is what God is asking me to do" sort of way. Cementing this line of thinking in our mind will help us to make the right choice.  There are things we will do because we are doing them for God that we otherwise might never do for a spouse, co-worker or friend who makes us mad!

Will you join me today in purposing to stop stirring up strife when it comes to someone in your life who is oil while you are so water? Yes, even if it is your own spouse. The world is watching; sizing up how we behave. When we are one part of a divergence in personalities, what will they see? Stirred up strife or lovingly covered offenses?
                                                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, grant me the ability to speak kindly, respond gently and at times, to hold my tongue. I want my actions and reactions to please and reflect You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

What a Husband Needs from His Wife by Melanie Chitwood

What a Wife Needs from Her Husband by Melanie Chitwood
For more on mismatched marriage and a chance to win a couples 'basket-in-a-box' giveaway, visit Karen's blog

A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

Application Steps: 

Jot down the names of one or two people with whom you have difficulty getting along. Now, name at least one kind and thoughtful gesture you could do for them during this Valentine's season, even if anonymously.  Do it this week.

Reflections:

In the past, how have you dealt with male/female differences with your spouse or, if you aren't married, with other personality clashes in your life? What were the results? What could you do differently in the future to promote a more harmonious relationship?

Power Verses:

Proverbs 15:1-3 "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good." (ESV)

John 13:34-35, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." (NIV)

© 2010 by Karen Ehman. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

February 5, 2010

Poisoned Pride

Luann Prater

"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." Matthew 23:12 (NIV)

Devotion:

I love Stacie Orrico's song "Don't Look at Me." She sings, Don't look at me if you're looking for perfection.  Don't look at me, I will only let you down.  I'll do my best to point you in the right direction.  Don't look at me, look at Him.

These lyrics remind me of a resounding theme I noticed recently in Mark 15:9-10, Matthew 23:1-39 and Luke 18:9-14: leaders who shined the spotlight on themselves.  They had no interest in making Jesus the main attraction.  God pulled a few lessons out of each passage for me to do the mirror test on my heart.

The problem that tripped up the leaders in Jesus' day might look familiar to you and me:

Lesson #1 - Envy

The chief priests were burning with envy over the popularity of Jesus.  He had only been on the scene for three years, yet the marketplace was always buzzing with the latest Jesus story!  Perhaps the chief priests wondered, Why is HE the center of attention?  What makes HIM the authority figure? 

Envy is a poison we may not even recognize. We give it a nicer title like "keeping up with the Jones" or "climbing the corporate ladder," but being upset with someone else's success is a bone-rotting toxin. Proverbs 14:30 confirms it saying, "A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones" (NIV).

Lesson #2 - Practice What You Preach

The leaders were busy barking legalistic orders to others, but didn't apply the rigid rules to their own lives.  Legalism is a strict adherence to the law and rules, and usually packs a punch of guilt if the regulations aren't followed to the letter.

James 1:22 says, "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says" (NIV). The leaders of Jesus' day had great amounts of scripture memorized, but did not live it out.  They focused on the rules and making others follow them, rather than on pleasing God.  If we are focusing on keeping rules and rituals, instead of building a relationship with Jesus, we too are missing the point.  Maybe shifting our angle is in order.  Look up. Let Bible study move us past just reciting scripture to allowing its life-giving Spirit to penetrate our actions.

Lesson #3 - All For Show

Dressing up and looking good made the Pharisees believe their own press.  They seemingly had it all together.  Do we act that way too?  When asked, "How are you?"  do we put on a happy face and respond, "Fine," when in fact, all is not fine?  Do we fear what people will think or how they will react if they know we messed up again?  It's easy to think, "My issues are nobody's business."  Truth is, they are God's business because you belong to Him.

Lesson  #4 - Clean The Inside

"Woe to you," Jesus repeated over and over to the Pharisees throughout Matthew 23.  The junk that was brewing inside their hearts didn't resemble the righteous life they claimed to live.

Everyone sees our pretty outside attire, but God knows what's going on beneath the surface.  When He cleans house, He starts on the inside.

What's lurking in your dark corners?  If self indulgence, self-reliance, or self-centeredness has camped out in your heart, let the housecleaning begin!  Soon your outer beauty will radiate your new inner beauty.

This mirror test revealed some junk in my life. What did you see in your reflection? A prideful heart, or a passion for Christ? Are you wanting others to look at you, rather than God? Psalm 10:4 says, "In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God."  Pride is a venom. Making room for God takes deliberate action. 

As the song says, "Don't look at me, look at Him."
                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, pride can camp out so easily in our hearts. Will you clean us from the inside out and let us reflect You? In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Visit Encouragement Café and Luann's blog today.

Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl book  and DVD Curriculum by Lysa TerKeurst

The Character of God: Understanding His Heart for Us by Brian T. Anderson and

Glynnis Whitwer

Messy Faith: Daring to Live by Grace by A.J. Gregory

Application Steps: 

Write down all the things you don't possess that have captured your heart.  Ask God to purify your heart and change your desires.

Reflections: 

What do I use to measure myself?

When am I most prone to let envy master my mind?

How can I stop the comparisons?

Power Verses:

Proverbs 11:2, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (NIV)

Galatians 6:4, "Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else." (NIV)

© 2010 by Luann Prater. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org

 

[Judy Harder]

February 8, 2010

Take A Walk On The Wild Side

Jenny B. Jones, She Reads Featured Author

"'Come,' he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat,

walked on the water, and came toward Jesus."

Matthew 14:29 (NIV)
       
Devotion:

Who doesn't like to be safe?

While writing Just Between You and Me, I immersed myself in my Bible—studying fear, the novel's central theme.  This was ironic coming from the poster child for fears. I fear rejection, success, heights, strangers, green peas, and skinny jeans.

I kept going back to Matthew 14. The disciples are in the boat, the winds are going crazy, and walking across the water is this dark figure. Peter says, "If that's you, Jesus, call out for me to join you." (I would've said, "If that's you, can you toss me a life jacket?")

Jesus does indeed call out to His friend, and things are going well until. . .Peter takes his eyes off his Savior and focuses on the wind. The wind that's tossed the boat and made the night scary.

The second Peter takes his focus off Jesus, down he goes.

So many focus on Peter's lack of faith here. I think the guy's cool just for getting out of the boat. Let's be honest. I wouldn't. Would you? Safety is comfort. But. . .what am I missing by playing it safe? What are we missing by not climbing out of the boat onto the waves?

God has huge plans for us. In Jeremiah He tells us that He has plans to prosper us, not to hurt us. What about you? Would you have taken on the giant if you had been a young David? The Bible is full of amazing moments that required blind faith—faith in something unseen that defies logic and does not make sense. Yet, moments in which a challenged child of God would have let his or her fears rule, would've turned out so much differently. So much. . .less.

In 2005, I had my David and Goliath moment. I went out to meet my giant with uncharacteristically giant faith. I had long had a dream of being a writer. But really hadn't done anything about it beyond wishing. Wishing is safe. And tidy. I had prayed a lot about it—but hadn't given my desire feet. I became burdened with the idea that my attitude was like saying to God, "I don't believe You're going to take care of me. I don't believe You can whip up anything satisfying for my life." I wasn't trusting God with all my life.

I traveled to my first writer's conference armed with nothing more than 20 pages of a book idea and supernatural faith built on months of prayer, claiming my dream, and relying on nothing but God. But I knew God was going to do what I began to call "The Amazing." I went to this conference expecting great things. And I think that is what made all the difference. Much like David, who went in knowing the battle was his. And God's.

That conference changed my life. Six months later I had my first book deal. The statistical chances of that happening given my lack of experience and writing? Zero. But I had to meet the giant on the battlefield for that to ever happen.

What are you dreaming of today? Or maybe for the last decade? All your life? Like me, are you living in your comfort zone? What dreams have lingered with you that won't leave you alone? Take your eyes off the raging waters, off all the logical reasons why not, reach out your hand and slip it into God's. He's been waiting for you.
                                                                                                                                                                       
Dear Lord, You have not called me to live a safe life, but a faith-filled life where I face my fears to achieve the amazing things You have planned. Help me to reach out to You, even when I'm afraid, and keep my focus on You. Bind up any fear, any excuses, any obstacles in my way, and show me Your will; Your clear path. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:

Just Between You and Me: A Novel of Losing Fear and Finding God by Jenny B. Jones

Pop over to P31's She Reads site today to enter a drawing for a Jenny B. Jones giveaway.  One grand prize winner will receive a copy of her novel Just Between You and Me plus a fabulous gift basket: Zingerman's Baked Goods Dreambox. Four runner up winners will also receive the novel.
She Speaks Conference - P31's conference for aspiring speakers or writers
Self Talk, Soul Talk: What to Say when you talk to Yourself by Jennifer Rothschild
Application Steps: 
Make a list of at least five things you'd do if you only had six months to live.  Next to each one, list what stops you from achieving or going after this.

Do a scripture search on fear, or blessings. Pray these verses out loud and personalize them by inserting your name and your goals. Jeremiah 29:11 is a great place to start. I used Deuteronomy 28:1-6.

Reflections: 

What are my greatest fears? How could these fears get in the way of God's plan for my life? Of my own dreams?

How has my past manifested into fears or control issues? Are there areas I'm not surrendering to God out of fear?

Power Verses:

Jeremiah 29: 11, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future " (NIV)

John 10:10, "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (NIV)

© 2010 by Jenny B. Jones. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

www.proverbs31.org