Encouragement for Today

[Judy Harder]

August 31, 2012

When I Need to Trust Him
Nicki Koziarz


"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.'" Psalm 31:14 (NIV 1984)

It was news that made my heart ache like no other. Nothing would ever be the same.

I climbed into my red Jeep Wrangler, buckled my seat belt, and sped down a dark country road. The night sky was clear but I could barely see through the tears that poured down my face.

I flipped off the radio and screamed at God, "Why?! Why did you allow this to happen?"

Pressing my foot on the brake, I pulled over and parked on the side of the road. The air was cold and the silence was eerie.

Do you trust Me? I sensed God whisper.

The question climbed through layers of my doubts and skepticism. Truth be told, I didn't trust God.

Oh, I trusted Him when things were good, when life was easy. But in the lowest moment of my life? I didn't really trust Him.

I wish I could tell you Jesus showed up in my car that night and I have never distrusted God again. But that is the furthest thing from the truth.

It would be years before I could say I trusted God again. And even today ... I have trust issues with Him.

Why is trusting God so hard?

The obvious answer is, you can't see Him.

Then there's the sensible rebuttal, He's mysterious.

Or the overused answer, God's ways are just not our ways.

But today I'm thinking that trusting God is so much more than just a position we accept.

Trusting God is a place of response.

In my desperate situation that night what I really wanted to say to God was, "I need to trust You more than ever." Yet my soul and my mouth didn't know how to connect that thought.

I need to trust You.

On days filled with uncertainty and fear, this practice of verbally placing our trust in Him can be powerful.

Today as I learn to trust God more, here are some things I'm saying aloud:

Jesus, I need to trust You more than ever to believe that You work all things out for my good. (Romans 8:28)

Jesus, I need to trust You more than ever to fight this battle I am facing. (Exodus 14:14)

Jesus, I need to trust You more than ever to be my God who provides beyond my limitations. (Philippians 4:19)

That night part of my lack of trust for God was from my own failure. I had fallen far from God - yet in that painful moment, He was still the One I turned to. I can't help but believe it is in our moments of complete brokenness we are able to experience God's faithfulness and presence by daring to turn to Him and learning to trust Him again.

What do you need to trust Jesus more than ever for today?

Dear Lord, I am thankful for the trust You offer me. I ask today that You would help me to move towards trusting You more with every detail of my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do you know Jesus, the One you can trust with your life?

Visit Nicki's blog for more encouragement on trusting God.

What Happens When Women Say Yes to God by Lysa TerKeurst

Reflect and Respond:
Trusting God is so much more than just a position we accept. Trusting God is a place of response.

Leave a comment on Nicki's blog sharing what you need to trust Jesus more for, then post a prayer for the person above you. Let's start a movement ... a movement of trusting God more.

Power Verses:
Psalm 20:7, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." (NIV 1984)

© 2012 by Nicki Koziarz. All rights reserved.

[Judy Harder]

September 3, 2012

Making the Hard Choice
Melanie Chitwood


"'Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. Behold I will do something new, now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.'" Isaiah 43:18-19 (NAS)

Several years after a friend weathered a huge storm in her marriage, I asked her, "How do you not remember and not get angry all over again when you're reminded of the hurt your husband caused you?"

Her answer was simple but not easy: "I choose to believe that God loves me, my husband, and my children. And I choose to trust God."

The key word here is "choose." Today's key verse from Isaiah 43:18-19 is also about choosing. In our marriages, we can choose to remember the hurtful times, or we can choose not "to call to mind the former things."

Let's look at some real-life examples where we can choose to look ahead rather than behind:

I can choose ...
to forgive my husband for forgetting my birthday.
not to repeat in my mind the hurtful words my husband said in the heat of an argument.
to appreciate my husband for what he does now, rather than wishing he'd send me flowers like he did in the beginning of our marriage.
to be merciful and gracious when my husband loses money in an unwise investment.
not to hold grudges.
to forgive my husband for unfaithfulness.
not to wonder if I married the right man.

We can make choices like these every day in our marriages, and as we do, I believe we will see God do something new and miraculous in our marriages. After all, He's the God who makes a "roadway in the wilderness" and "rivers in the desert" as Isaiah 43:18-19 says.

I saw my friend choose to trust God during the storm in her marriage. Then, over and over again, I've seen her choose to look ahead to the new things God promises to do in her marriage, rather than dwell on the hurts of the past.

I'm inspired by my friend's ability to rejoice over the new life God brought to her marriage. As our conversation concluded she said, "What we went through was absolutely heartbreaking, but I prayed to see it through God's eyes. I believe that God can make all things new, that God can work all things to our good if we believe in Him. God transformed our marriage as I rested in Him and trusted Him."

He did it for my friend and her marriage. He can do it for you and your marriage too.

Dear Lord, I rejoice that You make all things new! You can even raise a dead marriage to new life. I choose to look ahead, not behind, in my marriage. I choose not to call to mind hurt from the past. I can't wait to see what good things You bring to my marriage as I trust and obey You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

What a Husband Needs from His Wife and What a Wife Needs from Her Husband by Melanie Chitwood

Reflect and Respond:
Right now, what hurt or anger can you leave behind so God can do something new in your marriage? Pray now, confessing to God that you've been holding on to hurts of the past, and ask Him to begin a new work in your marriage.

What role does fear play in your inability to look ahead in your marriage?

Do you trust God to do something new in your marriage?

Power Verses:
Matthew 19:26, "...Jesus said to them, 'With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.'" (NAS)

Ephesians 4:22, 23, "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, ... to be made new in the attitude of your minds." (NIV 1984)

Ephesians 4:32, "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." (NLT)

© 2012 by Melanie Chitwood. All rights reserved.

[Judy Harder]

September 4, 2012

But I Don't Have What It Takes
Pastor Steven Furtick

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

"You don't belong here, boy. You don't have anything worth saying to these people."

You'd think a pastor about to preach to thousands of people eagerly awaiting his message would feel confident and courageous as he walks to the pulpit. But as I stepped out on stage, I literally had to talk to myself aloud to drown out the voice inside me telling me I didn't have what it takes.

Have you ever stopped short of God's calling on your life because you felt almost paralyzed by your limitations and insecurities?

We often excuse ourselves from God's greater vision because we don't believe we have enough for God to work with. Maybe it's our insufficient experience. Lack of resources. Lackluster training. Awkward social skills. Maybe it's a busted up marriage or a job we're sure is meaningless.

Unfortunately, one of the enemy's most effective strategies is to fill our mind with thoughts about what we don't have and all the ways we fall short. But when we focus on what we lack, it can keep us from realizing what we have is more than enough for God.

You see, God has a history of using what little someone has in order to do great things that only He can do. When I hear that voice reminding me of my shortcomings and limitations, I've decided to say, "You're right. But my greatest limitation is God's greatest opportunity."

All throughout Scripture God has shown this to be true time and time again.

When calling Moses to lead the Israelites out of slavery from the Egyptians, God simply asked him, "What is in your hand?" (see Exodus 4:2). It was just a staff—a common tool used by a common worker for a common purpose. But God used it for something greater, transforming it into an extraordinary tool for the extraordinary purposes of turning the Nile into blood and parting the Red Sea.

When feeding the five thousand, Jesus didn't send the disciples to buy out McDonalds. He simply asked them, "How many loaves do you have?" Five loaves and two fish were more than enough (see Mark 6:30-44).

When the prophet Elisha was approached by the desperate widow in 2 Kings 4:1-7 he simply asked her, "Tell me, what do you have in your house?" She said she had nothing at all,"except a small jar of olive oil." It turns out, one jar of oil isn't a bad place to start. God supernaturally multiplied that one jar of oil until she had enough to pay her debts and live with her sons on what was left.

And how did these miracles start? They started with something that seemed to amount to nothing.

These examples remind us we need to take inventory of what's right in front of us. Use that. Be obedient right there.

Start saying yes to God right where you are. Instead of focusing on your limitations and insecurities and saying, "I can't," start praying, "God use what I have. Take what little I have and make it overflow."

Indeed your greatest limitation is God's greatest opportunity.

Dear Lord, thank You that You are not limited to dealing with my current state and weaknesses. I want to be greater and do great things for You Lord. Use the little I have to give and make it great for You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
If you sense that you were meant for more but feel stuck where you are, Pastor Steven Furtick's new book, Greater, will give you the confidence to know nothing is impossible with God, the clarity to see the next step, and the courage to do what God's calling you to. Order your copy today by clicking here.

You're invited to join Pastor Furtick on Lysa TerKeurst's Unglued webcast, September 6th at 8pm EST. For more information, click here.

Are you ready to open your imagination to the possibility that God has a vision for your life that is greater? Click here to sign up for Pastor Steven Furtick's "Pray Greater For 4 Days" Challenge to help you take your faith to the next level.

Reflect and Respond:
Have you ever doubted God's calling in your life because you believed you didn't have what it takes?

List 3 areas in your life where you can say "yes" to God right where you are. Now pray, "God use what I have. Take what little I have and make it overflow." Pray this simple prayer any time you start to feel weak or like you aren't good enough.

For more encouragement, click here to sign up for Pastor Steven Furtick's "Pray Greater For 4 Days" Challenge.

Power Verses:
Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans." (NIV)

Isaiah 40:29, "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." (NIV)

© 2012 by Steven Furtick. All rights reserved.

[Judy Harder]

September 5, 2012

Filling the Gaps?
Lynn Cowell


"I made you. I am now your husband. My name is The Lord Who Rules Over All. I am the Holy One of Israel. I have set you free. I am the God of the whole earth." Isaiah 54:5 (NIRV)

I never thought I'd marry the guy I had crushed on since sixth grade and whose name I doodled on all my folders! Twenty-five years later, while far from perfect and at times under lots of parenting pressure, there is one secret that has helped make our marriage strong. A secret I'm passing on to our two teenage girls.

A man can never fill the love gap in your heart.

Most women have a need to nurture and a desire to receive care in return. We long to have the places in our heart that are hungry for love filled. And while people can help fill those gaps, they can never really satisfy. Our heart will always search for the One our soul was created to love and be loved by.

Isaiah 54:5 tells us who can fill our love gap: the Lord, our Maker and our Husband.

He's the One who is perfect and loves perfectly. Today's key verse goes on to say we're set free to be satisfied by His love instead of searching to be filled by another.

Yet, growing up, messages from movies, television, songs and books tried to convince us the perfect man was out there. Princess-like fantasies of being adored, affirmed, and attended to grew in our minds. "If only he would pay attention to me. If only he would say I am his, then I would really be happy." Radio songs reinforced our notions of a guy being our all-in-all. "I'm forever yours ... faithfully."

For some of us, the man we married has not stood by us faithfully. For others, there hasn't been a man who's said, "I do." Where does this leave us? Are we stuck feeling empty or broken for life?

I have walked beside several friends who've dreamed of picket fences, two kids and a dog. Yet their dreams have not come true. But while on a journey they never intended or would have chosen, they too have found:

No man can ever fill the love gap in their heart.

No man but one ... Love Himself.

Seeking Jesus has helped heal my loneliness and rejection and replace them with joy and acceptance. I also believe that looking to Him each day to meet my need for affirmation has taken the pressure off my husband.

Recently I shared this truth with a friend as she wept, "If I had only known that my husband couldn't meet all of my needs! If I had only known that Jesus alone could fill me with the love I was missing ... I wouldn't have divorced my husband last year."

My heart broke! Oh that we would grasp this truth today and share it with the young women in our lives. No matter what comes, we can find true love; a love that will never disappoint, never leave and never reject. A faithful love that can fill the gaps in our hearts.

Dear Lord, set me free to place my needs for affirmation, approval and affection in You. I know You will never disappoint, leave or reject me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Help a teen girl in your life hear truth like today's every day of the year! Lynn's new book Devotions for a Revolutionary Year - 365 Days of Jesus' Radical Love for You is a great resource! And if you purchase it today, you'll receive over $75 in free materials! More details here.

Sign up for Lynn's FREE "7-day Faith Builder" - a week's worth of free devotions to share with your daughter, or another girl you know, to help build her faith and confidence.

Visit Lynn's website to find out how you can be intentional about sharing God's truths with your child. She's giving away a "Faith Builder" gift pack too!

Reflect and Respond:
No man can ever fill the love gap in your heart. No man but One ... Love Himself.

Write a list of ways that you look to other people to fill the love gap in your heart.

Power Verses:
Zephaniah 3:17, "The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing." (NIV)

Song of Solomon 2:16a, "My beloved is mine and I am his." (NIV)

© 2012 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.Proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

September 6, 2012

People-Pleasing
Lysa TerKeurst


"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10 (NIV)

Hello, my name is Lysa and I want people to like me. So, I will sometimes say yes when I really want to say no. And when I do say no, I sometimes worry about how much I'm disappointing that person.

I would much rather write this in past tense. Like, "I used to struggle with this but I've matured past it. So, let me share how I bravely say no and never fret over that decision."

But this isn't a past tense issue in my life.

No matter how I want to spin what this is, I have to call it people-pleasing.

It's part of my DNA to love others and not disappoint them. But I have to realize real love is honest. Real love cares enough about other people to say no when saying yes would build up a barrier in the relationship. Real love pursues authenticity rather than chasing acceptance.

So here's how I'm challenging myself to break free from people-pleasing ... I have to make peace with these realities:

I am going to disappoint someone.

Every "yes" will cost me something. Every "no" carries with it the potential for disappointment.

Either I will disappoint this person by not meeting their expectations, or I will disappoint my family by taking too much time from them. Do I wish I could say yes to everything and still keep my sanity? Yes! But I can't. So here's how I will say no:

"Thank you for asking me. My heart says yes, yes, yes—but the reality of my time says no."

A good verse for this is Proverbs 29:25, "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." (ESV)

I must pause before giving immediate answers.

Sometimes it might be realistic for me to say yes, but I've learned to let my "yes" sit for a spell. Pausing allows me to assess how much stress this will add into my life. The person asking me for this favor probably won't be on the receiving end of my stress. It's the people I love the most that will start getting my worst when I say yes to too many people.

So, here's how I will give myself time to make an honest assessment:

"Thank you for asking me. Let me check my calendar and think through some other commitments I've already made. If you haven't heard back from me by the end of the week, please connect with me again."

A good verse for this is Proverbs 31:25, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." (NIV 1984) What this says to me is we don't set our heart up to dread what lies ahead.

Some people won't like me.

In an effort to keep my life balanced, I will have to say no to many things. If someone stops liking me for saying no, they'll eventually stop liking me even if I say yes right now.

There are some people I won't please no matter how much I give. And some people won't stop liking me no matter how many no's I give. My true friends are in that second group and I love them for that.

Here's a great verse for this: "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man I would not be a servant of Christ." (Galatians 1:10 ESV)

I challenge you to take a long pause this week when asked to add something new to your plate. And remember ... pursue authenticity by being honest rather than chasing acceptance by always saying yes.

Dear Lord, thank You for Your Word. I love how it applies to such every-day issues, like people-pleasing. Please help me discern when I should say yes and when I should say no. I want to be a good steward of my time, a good friend/wife/mother/employee, but sometimes I get so caught up in what everyone else wants me to do. Help me see Your will for each situation and respond clearly . In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
In Lysa's new book, Unglued, she shares personal and scriptural wisdom to help us escape people-pleasing by understanding better ways to respond. Click here to order your copy!

Join in Lysa's webcast tonight at 8pm EST with special guest Pastor Steven Furtick. For more information log on to www.LysaTerKeurst.com.

Join the Proverbs 31 Ministries' Unglued Online Bible Study! This Unglued study, hosted by Melissa Taylor and Lysa TerKeurst, starts Sunday, September 23rd. You won't have to leave your house, change out of your pajamas, or even put on makeup. Click here to find out more and sign up!

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!

Reflect and Respond:
How can the practice of pausing before saying yes improve your relationships?

Go ahead and write your pre-determined response when having to say no and potentially disappointing a friend or acquaintance.

Power Verse:
Acts 24:16, "So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man." (NIV)

© 2012 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.Proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

 September 7, 2012

In the Midst of Dirty Dishes
Sharon Glasgow


"Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: ... whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ ..." 1 Peter 4:9-11b (ESV)

I'd heard heroic tales of her. She'd been a missionary for over 60 years and led countless people to Christ. Now she was in her eighties and continued to pour her life into serving others. I was honored to stay with her for a week to minister alongside her.

After traveling 30 hours to her home, my husband and I arrived late in the evening. She welcomed and ushered us into her kitchen for a hearty meal she'd prepared. Then she took time to pray over us before we went to bed. When the sun was barely up the next morning, we feasted on an enormous breakfast in her tiny kitchen.

She and her husband prayed and read Scripture while we ate. The kitchen was crowded, her appliances old and worn, dishes piled high in the sink from her lavish food preparation—yet the atmosphere was home. As they read and encouraged Dale and me, unexpected tears welled up in my eyes and dripped on my plate!

Her kitchen didn't get a rest! Immediately after breakfast she began cooking again, this time for 100 women. She had rented a banquet hall and invited friends, telling them an American would be speaking and food would be served. We cooked, set up the luncheon, and I was ushered to the front to speak. Her intention was to build a bridge to their hearts, in hopes that they would come to church on Sunday. And many did!

While driving home in a car packed full of dishes from the luncheon, she told me she'd invited a large group to the house for dinner and wanted me to speak again.

I couldn't imagine how we could clean up all the mess we had left behind and prepare another huge meal! How would we get it all done? She didn't seem concerned at all. Instead, she was fueled from what the Lord had done at the luncheon.

There have been times that I've worried more about my kitchen than how I can serve others. I fret over the size and messiness. But as I watched this woman overlook the piles of pots I was inspired. She didn't let an unswept floor keep her from ministering when she felt the Lord move her. She set the table beautifully and welcomed her guests. Her husband and she joined together to pray and read from the Word. Hearts melted, like mine had earlier that morning.

Years have passed and I think of her every time I have company. Over the years she ministered to thousands in her home; many came to know Jesus there. And it was not because of delicacies or fancy dishes; it had nothing to do with a spotless kitchen. In fact, her kitchen was a mess. But whenever God opened a window of opportunity my friend chose to seize it.

I want that kind of desire to serve. I want my strength and passion to be like that described in today's key verse, 1 Peter 4:9-11b. I want to long for people to know Jesus more than I want to have the perfect kitchen.

God cares more about what's happening in our kitchen, than the state of it. My friend taught me that God's love can be shared, His character can be shown and hospitality can be offered, even in the midst of dirty dishes.

Dear Lord, help me take care of my home, and make it a place where You are glorified. Show me ways to serve You in a greater way through the resources You have given me. And help me always care more about the people in my kitchen than the dirty dishes. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Visit Sharon's blog for more on ministering in your kitchen and for these recipes from the missionary's dinner and luncheon ... Orange Chicken, Cuddled Eggs, and the best pancakes!

A Life that Says Welcome by Karen Ehman

I Used to Be So Organized by Glynnis Whitwer

Reflect and Respond:
Would you be able to invite people in for dinner if they dropped by unannounced—even if the kitchen was a mess?

When was the last time you invited neighbors over and served them? Let's get intentional about ministering in our kitchen and using it for His purposes.

Power Verses:
Proverbs 31:15a, "She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household." (NKJV)

Proverbs 31:25-27, "Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat of the bread of idleness." (NKJV)

© 2012 by Sharon Glasgow. All rights reserved.

[Judy Harder]

 September 10, 2012

When Following Gets Hard
Glynnis Whitwer


"And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:27 (NIV)

"Follow me on Twitter!" the celebrity said. He promised insider information and witty words all in 140 characters or less. There's no cost to follow; only benefit. And if it's not to your liking, just unfollow him. It only takes a few key strokes and you can move on to the next entertainer.

Several thousand years ago, someone else said, "Follow me." Only He meant something much different.

There was no promise of pithy sayings; no offer of ease with Jesus. Though the entertainment value was high at times, especially when He performed a miracle, He didn't leave it at that. He asked for more from those who followed Him. Apparently Jesus never read any marketing books, because He sure didn't make it look easy.

When Jesus invited Peter and Andrew to follow Him, they walked away from their jobs. Others left family, wealth and possessions. He gently turned one away because the young man wouldn't give up riches. But those that followed gave up their rights in exchange for a relationship with the Messiah.

Following Jesus was an all or nothing invitation. There isn't one example in Scripture where Jesus made an exception. And yet too many times I find myself following Jesus with only part of me. In fact, at times I'd prefer the Twitter version of following Jesus. Quick and entertaining, and done from behind a screen.

When all the spiritual decorations are removed, the truth is I've tried to follow Jesus with only part of me. I consider His invitation, and I'm happy to follow Him with my mind and hands. As a writer, that makes sense to me.I'll follow You Jesus from behind my computer. That's enough, isn't it?

Not really, I hear. I want your heart too. Are you willing to let go of unforgiveness? And your legs need to follow me so I can send you to do My work in the hospital, your neighbor's home and the prisons if need be.

Okay then, I counter. I'll give You my legs when I've got some extra time in my schedule. Can I think about that unforgiveness request?

And yet I know Jesus wants more. He doesn't want a 140-character relationship with me. He doesn't want my obedience a few times a day when I think about it. He doesn't want my convenient offerings of service. Following Jesus means being His shadow ... walking in His footsteps to the leper colony, being a friend of the outcast, facing scorn from the religious community, and standing firm for what is right in spite of the cost. It means following Him in the very essence of who I am: The deep place where I submit my rights to the One who gave them up for me.

When I look at it in that light, I realize once again why I want to follow Jesus fully. He gave up everything for me. How can I do any less?

My footsteps on this earthly journey following Jesus are not always steady and strong. I've stumbled many times. Yet I know that following anyone else offers only temporary peace and joy. Only Jesus leads me from darkness to light, and from death to life. I don't expect I'll find that on Twitter.

Dear Heavenly Father, forgive me for the times I've tried to follow You part time. It seems I'm always withholding some part of me, especially when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable. Reveal those areas in my heart that I've kept to myself, and help me become a woman who follows You with complete abandon. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Want to Follow Jesus Fully?

P31 Woman magazine offers monthly encouragement on your journey of obedience.

When a Woman Meets Jesus by Dorothy Valcarcel

Visit Glynnis' blog for more encouragement during those times when following Jesus gets hard.

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!

Reflect and Respond:
Following Jesus means following Him in the very essence of who we are: The deep place where we submit our rights to the One who gave them up for us.

What is one area of your life you withhold from following Jesus?

Power Verses:
John 8:12, "When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" (NIV)

John 10:27, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me." (NIV)

© 2012 by Glynnis Whitwer. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.Proverbs31.org

[Judy Harder]

 September 11, 2012

When It Feels Better to Blame Someone Else
Lysa TerKeurst


"Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice." Proverbs 13:10 (NIV 1984)

You want to know one of the hardest three-word statements to make? "I am wrong."

It's so easy to point out wrong in others. It's so easy to want it to be someone else's fault. It's so easy to get critical and cynical and caught up in our limited perspectives.

But boy is it hard to see our own flaws. Where we went wrong. What we need to own.

I've been challenging myself on this. I recently had to correct one of my children for trying to blame someone else for something my child needed to own themselves. I could clearly see the pride, the insecurity, and the fear all wrapped around her blaming words. And why could I see it so clearly?

Because I see it in myself.

Bummer huh?

I had to have a conversation where I explained to my child something I'm learning myself. About blaming. And the dangerous path blaming can take us on.

In most conflicts I have two ways I can choose to travel:

The Path of Pride: I can blame the other person, focus only on their flaws, and refuse to own my part of it. That response will increase my pride and decrease the Lord's blessing in my life.

The Humble Way: I can honestly assess what I'm contributing to this conflict, admit where I went wrong, and ask for forgiveness. That response will lead to humility and increase the Lord's blessing in my life.

I see this principle woven throughout the Bible:

James 4:6, "That is why Scripture says: God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." (NIV 1984)

Proverbs 29:23, "A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowly spirit gains honor." (NIV 1984)

Matthew 23:12, "For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted." (NIV 1984)

I know this. I believe this. So, why do I still find it hard to implement sometimes?

Well, here's where my head wants to go when I start examining certain conflicts: "But what if it really isn't my fault? It's not fair to assign the blame with me when this person did this and this and this."

But that's the wrong direction to go. Don't try to assign the blame. Just own the part you brought into the conflict. When I approach a conflict with a heart of humility, I've yet to see where I haven't added something to the issue.

And if the other person doesn't own their issues—the Lord will deal with them. (See the verses above.)

There are gifts hidden in the tough stuff of conflict. There is grace and honor to be gained. But I'll only see those gifts if I stop blaming others and start examining myself.

Dear Lord, I want to follow Your teaching in this. But it's so hard. I'm mad and frustrated and hurt. The last thing I feel like doing is examining where I am wrong. But I know that's what I need to do. Will You soften my heart? Will You give me eyes to see beyond my hurt? Will You help me cut through the assumptions and wrong-thinking? I want to honor You in this, I really do. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
What do you do when you need to draw boundaries in certain tough relationships? If you feel you need to make some tough decisions in one of your relationships, click here to read Lysa's blog today.

Join the Proverbs 31 Ministries' Unglued Online Bible Study! This Unglued study, hosted by Melissa Taylor and Lysa TerKeurst, starts Sunday, September 23rd. You won't have to leave your house, change out of your pajamas, or even put on makeup. Click here to find out more and sign up!

To get your copy of Unglued, click here. To get your Unglued Bible study workbook and DVD, click here.

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!

Reflect and Respond:
Think of a recent conflict with someone. Which way did you travel?

Remember, it's never too late to go back and go the humble way.

Now think of a conflict with someone that is happening right now. How can you travel the humble way?

Power Verses:
Psalm 25:9, "He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way." (NIV 1984)

Proverbs 11:2, "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom." (NIV 1984)

© 2012 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.

[Judy Harder]

 September 12, 2012

How to Stop Trashing Yourself
Renee Swope


"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36 (NIV)

One night I was cleaning our kitchen and found this little rubber thingy on our countertop. It wasn't until after I threw it away that I realized it was the power button for our TV remote control. As I dug through the trash to find it, I regretted how quickly I'd thrown it away.

Then, as I reached to pull it out, I sensed God showing me that's how easily I throw away my confidence—without recognizing it.

It's usually very subtle. Sometimes I'll be thinking about something I want to do or sense God calling me to, and a feeling of uncertainty comes over me and whispers to my heart, You can't do that. You're not good enough. Out of the blue, I'll just get that awful, insecure feeling.

Too many times in the past I've gone along with it, tossing my confidence into the trash without even thinking.

For years, I didn't tell anyone about my lack of confidence because I figured if I told them all the reasons I doubted myself, they'd see my flaws and agree with me. Honestly, I was convinced I was the only one who struggled with doubt.

However, I didn't call it doubt. Maybe you don't either. Sometimes I called it worry—worry that I was going to disappoint someone, worry that I might make a mistake and get criticized for it, worry that I might start something but not be able to finish.

Other times I'd call it fear—fear that I wouldn't measure up, fear that I'd look stupid, fear that I'd look prideful thinking I could do something special for God. What I've realized over the past several years is that these feelings may end up as fear or worry, but their source is self-doubt.

What about you? Do you ever question your worth as a woman? How often do you agree with the whispers of self-doubt and throw away confidence that should be yours as a child of God?

I've learned to ask God to show me when I'm tempted to trash myself and then depend on Him to help me trash my insecurities instead. Want to join me? Let's hold onto God's promises and depend on His truth for the security we need and the confidence we long for:

• When self-doubt whispers, "I can't do that. I'm going to fail and look foolish." Trash that lie and hold onto this truth: "The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?" (Hebrews 13:6, NIV 1984)

• When self-doubt whispers, "I'll never change." Trash that lie and hold onto this truth: "For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in [me] will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6, NASB)

• When self-doubt whispers, "This is too hard for me. I don't have what it takes to..." Trash that lie and hold onto this truth: "No, in all these things [I am] more than a [conqueror] through him who loved [me]." (Romans 8:37, NIV)

Dear Lord, I want to become a woman with a confident heart in Christ. Will You help me recognize when I trash myself, and remind me to trash my insecurities instead? I want to persevere in Your truth so that when I have done Your will, I will receive what You have promised. When doubt or insecurity tell me I can't do something, I will remember that all things are possible to her who believes. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Are you ready to stop throwing away your confidence and start living in the security of who you are in Christ? In her book, A Confident Heart, Renee Swope walks you through the process of identifying your self-doubts and replacing them with God's truth. Order your copy here.

Sign up for Renee's Free 7-Day Doubt Diet. Filled with daily insights, powerful promises and scripture-based prayers, you will receive a week's worth of life-changing Confident Heartdevotions to help you lose the weight of self-doubt. Find out more here.

Connect with Renee on Facebook for more life-changing perspectives and promises from God's Word!

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!

Reflect and Respond:
"The more you reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior (and beliefs) will begin to reflect your true identity!" Dr. Neil T. Anderson

Take Renee's Doubt Index Analysis — a free quiz to help you see what makes you throw away your confidence, and how it affects you and your relationships.

Power Verses:
Hebrews 10:39, "But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." (NIV 1984)

Mark 9:23, "'If you can?' said Jesus. 'Everything is possible for one who believes.'" (NIV)

© 2012 by Renee Swope. All rights reserved.

[Judy Harder]

 September 13, 2012

Please Don't Give Me a Christian Answer
Lysa TerKeurst


"The right word at the right time is like golden apples in silver jewelry." Proverbs 25:11 (NIRV)

I love Jesus. I love God. I love His Truth. I love people.

But I don't love packaged Christian answers. Those that tie everything up in a nice neat bow. And make life a little too tidy.

Because there just isn't anything tidy about some things that happen in our broken world. The shooting that recently happened in Aurora, Colorado, is awful and sad and so incredibly evil.

And God help me if I think I'm going to make things better by thinking up a clever Christian saying to add to all the dialogue. God certainly doesn't need people like me — with limited perspectives, limited understanding, and limited depth — trying to make sense of things that don't make sense.

Is there a place for God's truth in all this? Absolutely. But we must, must, must let God direct us. In His time. In His way. In His love.

And when things are awful we should just say, "This is awful." When things don't make sense, we can't shy away from just saying, "This doesn't make sense." Because there is a difference between a wrong word at the wrong time, and a right word at the right time.

When my sister died a horribly tragic death, it was because a doctor prescribed some medication that no child should ever be given. And it set off a chain of events that eventually found my family standing over a pink rose draped casket.

Weeping.

Hurting.

Needing time to wrestle with grief and anger and loss.

And it infuriated my raw soul when people tried to sweep up the shattered pieces of our life by saying things like, "Well, God just needed another angel in heaven." It took the shards of my grief and twisted them even more deeply into my already broken heart.

I understand why they said things like this. Because they wanted to say something. To make it better. Their compassion compelled them to come close.

And I wanted them there. And then I didn't.

Everything was a contradiction. I could be crying hysterically one minute and laughing the next. And then feel so awful for daring to laugh that I wanted to cuss. And then sing a praise song. I wanted to shake my fist at God and then read His Scriptures for hours.

There's just nothing tidy about all that.

You want to know the best thing someone said to me in the middle of my grief?

I was standing in the midst of all the tears falling down on black dresses and black suits on that grey funeral day. My heels were sinking into the grass. I was staring down at an ant pile. The ants were running like mad around a footprint that had squashed their home.

I was wondering if I stood in that pile and let them sting me a million times if maybe that pain would distract me from my soul pain. At least I knew how to soothe physical pain.

Suddenly, this little pigtailed girl skipped by me and exclaimed, "I hate ants."

And that was hands-down the best thing anyone said that day.

Because she just entered in right where I was. Noticed where I was focused in that moment and just said something basic. Normal. Obvious.

Yes, there is a place for a solid Christian answer. Absolutely.

But there's also a place to just weep with no answers at all.

God help us to know the difference.

Dear Lord, thank You for being there in my darkest time. I know You are real and You are the only one who can bring comfort to seemingly impossible situations. Please help me speak Your truth to those around me. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
When we face hard times it can feel like life is falling apart. Lysa's new book, Unglued will help you keep your raw emotions under control, even when life feels out of control. Click here to order your copy!

The accompanying Unglued Bible Study will help you understand what the Bible says about your emotions and better ways to use them for good in all of your relationships! To order your copy, click here.

Join the Proverbs 31 Ministries' Unglued Online Bible Study! This Unglued study, hosted by Melissa Taylor and Lysa TerKeurst, starts Sunday, September 23rd. You won't have to leave your house, change out of your pajamas, or even put on makeup. Click here to find out more and sign up!

When you purchase resources through Proverbs 31 Ministries, you touch eternity because your purchase supports the many areas of hope-giving ministry we provide at no cost. We wish we could, but we simply can't compete with prices offered by huge online warehouses. Therefore, we are extremely grateful for each and every purchase you make with us. Thank you!

Reflect and Respond:
Think of someone in your life who is going through a really tough situation. How can you make a difference in their life today?

Instead of words of encouragement, it may involve serving them and making sure their physical needs are met during this difficult time. Allow God to lead you as you try to serve your friend best.

Power Verses:
Romans 12:15-16a, "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another." (NIV)

Ecclesiastes 10:12, "The words of a wise person are gracious. The talk of a fool self-destructs." (MSG)

© 2012 by Lysa TerKeurst. All rights reserved.