Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

January 25, 2011   

Man's Best Friend 

Sharon Jaynes
   
Today's Truth
"The LORD God said, 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'" (Genesis 2:18, NIV).

Friend To Friend
For thirteen years, our family was blessed with a Golden Retriever named Ginger. We gave her to our son, Steven, for Christmas when he was five-years-old and she still holds the blue ribbon as the best present ever. I can still remember the look of surprise on Steven's cherub face when the "stuffed" animal began to move. "It's a puppy!" he exclaimed. "It's not a toy!"

And while Ginger was officially Steven's dog, and I was unofficially her primary caretaker, it was my husband who held a special place in her heart. From the very beginning, Ginger loved my husband the best.

Ginger lollygagged her days away by sleeping in the driveway or lounging by the back stoop steps. However, when my husband's car entered the neighborhood and turned the corner onto our shady street, Ginger's ears perked up and her eyes began to beam. Suddenly infused with a burst of anticipatory energy, she would jump to her feet and run in circles. "He's home!  He's home!" she seemed to say.

When Steve pulled into the garage and opened his car door, Ginger whined, ran to greet him and rested her head on his left leg while he cooed and rubbed her ears. Steve's homecoming was the highlight of her day.

No wonder dog is called "man's best friend." Ginger was loyal, didn't nag, and loved Steve no matter how much or how little attention he paid to her on any given day. She was very forgiving and almost immediately forgot any injustice such being left behind when we traveled on vacation. Often at the mere sight of Steve, Ginger rolled over on her back and beckoned him to rub her tummy. She always responded to his touch like it was heaven on earth. What man wouldn't love such a response from "his girl?"

And yet, when God created Adam and placed him the garden, only to determine that "It is not good for man to be alone," He did not create a dog to be his loyal companion.  God created a woman to fill the void in his life. She was called an ezer in the Hebrew - the original language of the Old Testament. Most Bible translations render the word ezer as "helper," however, the word is packed with so much more meaning than a mere helper. 

Author, Carolyn Custis James reveals the following: "Ezer appears twenty-one times in the Old Testament. Twice, in Genesis, it describes the woman (Genesis 2:18,20). But the majority of references (sixteen to be exact) refer to God, or Yahweh, as the helper of his people. The remaining three references appear in the books of the prophets, who use it to refer to military aid. If language means anything, then ezer, in every case, is not a flunky or junior assistant but a very strong helper."

We would be very remiss if we looked at the word ezer or helper in only domestic terms.  Adam didn't need someone to cook for him, clean up after him, or care for him.  That was not the problem. The void in Adam's life was that he did not have a companion to work with him, rule the earth with him, love with him, procreate with him and after the fall - struggle with him. A dog might have been an easier adjustment for Adam, but God decided Adam needed someone with words.

As an ezer or a strong helper, how will we use our words? Will we use them to fortify or flatten, defend or defeat, complete or compete? The choice begins in our minds, runs through our hearts, and responds with our lips. And one of the best ways we can use our words is in prayer.

Let's Pray
Dear LORD, I so want to be a good ezer - a good companion that is my husband's completer. I want to be a help and not a hindrance. Help me to use my words in such a way that help him to be all that You have created him to be as we work together in life.  In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
What do you think of when you think of the word "helper?"

Why do you think Adam needed a helper?

How have you been an ezer to your husband over the past week? (Not geezer, mind you, but ezer.)

You might want to ask him some ways that you could help him in the coming days.

More From The Girlfriends
Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams? Would you like a little "wow" back in your relationship with the man you married? Then let seven simple secrets from Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, transform your marriage. With Biblical wisdom and responses from hundreds of men Sharon surveyed, you'll get a glimpse into your husband's deepest longings.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

January 26, 2011 

Think Right ... Live Right   

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
"Think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected" (Philippians4:8, NCV).

Friend To Friend
I was absolutely pathetic as I moaned and groaned my way up the stairs. My back was killing me! I had just spent four long hours taking down Christmas decorations, packing them in boxes, hauling each box down three flights of stairs to the basement and hoisting every one of those heavy, packed-to-the-brim boxes up on shelves that are taller than I am. Do you get the painful picture?

I was working up a stellar case of self-pity when my husband came home from work and asked what I had been doing all day. "I did two loads of laundry, wrote two devotions, took care of Justus while Danna studied, answered email and then it took me four hours to take down all of the Christmas decorations," I declared in my best "poor me" voice. Dan did not seem impressed. "It really took you that long? I didn't think you had that many decorations out this year. Why didn't you wait until I got home so I could help you? " he asked. I didn't want to wait. I was not happy ... and more than a little upset with him for not being more sympathetic. But my sweet husband was not done.

"Your problem is not in your back, honey. Your problem is in your mind," he patiently explained. I could see the conversation going down the tube fast but managed to muster up just enough self-control that kept me from saying what I really wanted to say. Instead, I sweetly asked, "What do you mean?"

Sidebar: Three months ago, I was in a car wreck that caused some fierce muscle spasms in my back and resulted in several visits to the chiropractor. Two months ago I had a stomach virus that lasted a week followed by the Thanksgiving holidays during which we had our kids and grandkids for a week ... which was incredibly wonderful and deliciously chaotic. The day they left, I went to the doctor with a respiratory infection that turned into bronchitis that soon blossomed into walking pneumonia from which I am still recovering. Do you feel my pain?

"Honey, you have been so sick - not to mention being rear-ended by a car going 70 miles an hour. Why did you feel like you had to decorate the entire house in the first place?" Dan asked. I know. I could not believe it either! "It was Christmas!" I sputtered in frustration. And then I saw it. The problem really is in my mind. I had allowed wrong thinking to dictate wrong priorities.

The mind is a great battlefield. The Bible tells us that we have the mind of Christ because we have a personal relationship with Him, but we still have to allow or choose to "let" the mind of Christ be in control. Every day we are at war for the control of the mind. Who wins that war is up to us and the choices that we make.   

Proverbs 23:7 tells us, "For as he thinks within himself, so he is" (NASB). In other words, what we think about powerfully influences who and what we will become. Our actions, our attitudes and habits are born in the mind, an offspring of the thought life we entertain. 

We can literally change our life by changing how we think - but we cannot do it alone. God's standard and guideline for our thought life is very clear and demanding. In fact, it's completely impossible without God's power at work in our life.

"Think about the things that are good and worthy of praise; think about the things that are true and honorable and right and pure and beautiful and respected" (Philippians 4:8, NCV).

We choose what we watch and read, the conversations we have and the time we spend in the Word. If the mind is not filled with good, trust me, the enemy will fill it with bad. The human mind will always set itself on something. Paul is challenging us to wisely choose that setting, taking charge of our thoughts by inviting the Holy Spirit to empower God's standard for the mind.

My husband often says, "You can't keep a bird from flying over your head but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair." Now stay with me. Impure and wrong thoughts will come but we do not have to entertain them and invite them to "come on in and stay awhile." When we choose to surrender the control of our mind to God, He will honor that choice and give us the strength and power to think right. And when we think right - we will live right.

Let's Pray
Lord, I confess to You that I often struggle with the way I think. I desperately need Your help. Please make me aware of the influences that draw my mind away from You and show me how to avoid each one. Teach me how to fix my thoughts on You and give me a hunger and thirst for Your Word. Today, I surrender the control of my mind to You, Father. 

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
The mind is the control center of your life. How have your thoughts affected your decisions or actions this week? I challenge you to fill your mind with God's Word and watch God work in your life. Read the following questions and record your answers in your journal.

What specific steps do I need to take in order to put more of God's word into my mind?

To honor God with my thought life, what changes do I need to make in the following areas?

Movies ___________________________________________

Television_________________________________________

Music ____________________________________________

Books____________________________________________

Magazines ________________________________________

Internet___________________________________________

Conversations______________________________________

More From The Girlfriends
Start the New Year right! Enroll in Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. The current topic is How to Handle Hurt. Trials are part of life. We will experience pain and hurt. That is reality this side of heaven ... but we can learn how to handle the hurt in a way that honors God and assures a life of victory. We can harness the power of our pain and use it for good. We can choose to examine every broken part of life and compel it to give us a "seed" of victory.

Be sure to check out the FREE MP3s available on Mary's website in the Freebies Section!

Need help dealing with stress? Get Mary's book, Escaping the Stress Trap, and learn how to control the stress in your life instead of allowing it to control you.

Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email. 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

January 28, 2011

I Want to Be Just Like Jami   

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
"So encourage each other and give each other strength" (1 Thessalonians 5:11, NCV).

Friend To Friend
When Jack joined our church youth group, I had no idea that he would evolve into one of the most abrasive people in my life. In the beginning, Jack worked hard at making friends and seemed content to go with the flow, but one day, Jack decided that the stream of life was flowing in the wrong direction and it was up to him to redirect its course. The mask came off and the façade quickly crumbled and standing before me was the real deal - a genuine, authentic sandpaper person of the coarsest grade.

It started with little things like a friendly shove or a caustic comment masquerading as sarcasm. Other youth began coming to Dan or to me, sharing their concern about Jack's antics. I talked to Jack. Dan talked to Jack. Together we prayed for Jack and urged the other youth to join us. Nothing seemed to change. As a last ditch effort, we drafted two of our most mature youth to take Jack under their wing and mentor him.   

During a Monday night Bible study, Dan asked one of those mentors to sing a solo. Jami was a redheaded freckled face girl whose sparkling blue eyes and contagious dimpled grin did not convey the constant pain she suffered as a victim of juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Jami never complained, always quick and eager to share her faith. When she stood to sing, Jack began laughing, pointing and whispering to the people around him.  Their lack of response fueled his fire, upping the ante for Jack to win this battle and capture center stage. Jami looked at me, silently begging me to rescue her and the situation. I smiled the most encouraging smile I could muster, hoping it would be enough. It wasn't. I looked back at Jack, delivering my famous and usually feared "shape up or die" glare - all to no avail. In a firm voice, Dan asked, "Jack, are you ready to hear Jamie sing?" Well, that did it! Jack erupted into uproarious laughter, "Sing? She sounds like a frog - not to mention the fact that she walks funny!" Every ounce of oxygen was immediately sucked out of the room. Everyone froze, except Jami, who fled in tears. From the faces of those youth sitting around Jack, I could tell that revenge was close at hand as they began loading their emotional guns and sharpening their retaliation knives. I jumped to my feet, grabbed Jack and pulled him out of the room. 

Reaching the foyer, I whirled Jack around to face me and with clenched teeth ground out my livid question, "Do you have any idea what you just did?" The laughter vanished as pain and harsh realization spread across his face. His response was nothing short of incredible. "Yes. I embarrassed Jami and hurt her feelings." I am not often speechless, but at that moment, words simply evaporated as I stared into the eyes of someone fully aware of the pain he had just inflicted on one of the few people who accepted and defended him. "I cannot believe you!" I growled. "Jami has always been kind to you, coming to your defense when you did not deserve to be defended or inviting you to join the group when the group did not want you anywhere around them. She has probably been the best friend you have ever had or will ever have. What is wrong with you?" I knew my response was far from what it should be, but at that moment, all I could see was the hurt on Jami's face. What I didn't see was the hurt in Jack's heart. He stood, silently accepting his rightful and, I thought, well-deserved punishment without a single word of defense. 

From the corner of my eye, I saw someone approaching. I was really hoping they were bringing me some kind of rusty weapon but it was Jami - with a tremulous smile breaking through the tears cascading down her face. Jack instinctively began backing away until he saw Jami's eyes and her outstretched arms. I stood paralyzed, a witness to God's supernatural presence and the restoration power of forgiveness at work before my unbelieving eyes and my angry heart. Instantly, I became the student and Jami the teacher. Both Jack and I listened quietly as God spoke through this precious young woman, the words only she could speak. "Jack, I got to thinking about why you did what you just did, and I realized something. I love you and you know that, but you don't think you deserve that love so you tried to kill it by hurting me. It won't work. Do you know why?" I saw Jack's sandpaper world being rocked by a love he could not understand, a love that was not altered by anything he did or didn't do, a love that only God can give. In answer to Jami's question, Jack gave a quick headshake and whispered, "No. I don't know why." Jami smiled, wrapped her arms around the very one who, just moments before had viciously wounded her, and with fresh tears streaming down her face, choked out words I will never forget. "I love you with God's love, Jack. Not mine. And His love will never die. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what you say or do, I am your friend - period."

Staring into her eyes, Jack experienced, maybe for the first time, the timeless and stubborn love of God; a love that would redefine his future. With a giggle, Jami playfully grabbed Jack's hand and began happily chattering about how she needed him in the front row to encourage her while she sang. And he did!

Here's the rest of the story. From that day forward, Jack was a different person. From time to time, he would fall back into old emotional habits but when he did, Jami or someone under her direction and influence would snatch him back to the new place that Jami's words of staggering kindness and God ordained wisdom had brought him. The youth who witnessed Jami's love for this unlovable one were changed and called up higher in their obedience to God, even when it didn't make sense and was completely undeserved. Jami taught me that hurt people really do hurt people. I want to be just like Jami when I grow up.

Let's Pray
Father, please forgive me when I judge others when I should love them. Help me to see every person through Your eyes of love, grace and mercy. Please guard my tongue and my heart so that I will build up and not destroy others. I want to please You, Lord; by the way I love the unlovable. Help me to grow up and become a fully devoted follower of Christ.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Right now, think of the most abrasive people in your life.

Are you ready to accept and love them without demanding that they change? 

Find one good point about each person and voice it to others whenever you have the chance.

What can you do to demonstrate the unconditional love of God for these people?

Do you need to ask any of them for forgiveness? Are you willing to do that now? 


More From The Girlfriends
I can be very impatient with people who do not see life the way I see it or act the way I think they should. God is continually teaching me new truths about how to show "sandpaper people" God's love through what I do and say.

Need help dealing with the difficult people in your life? Get Mary's book, Sandpaper People.

Looking for a Bible Study? Enroll in Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. The current topic is How to Handle Hurt. We will experience pain and hurt but we can learn how to handle the hurt in a way that honors God and assures a life of victory. We can harness the power of our pain and use it for good. We can choose to examine every broken part of life and compel it to give us a "seed" of victory.

FREE MP3s available on Mary's website in the Freebies Section!

Do you or someone you love struggle with depression? Mary's book, Hope in the Midst of Depression, offers practical steps you can take to get out and stay out of that pit.

Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

January 31, 2011 

Broken Into Beautiful
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
"Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame" (Psalm 34:5, NIV).

Friend To Friend
I remember the phone call to my college boyfriend. Through sobs, I managed to tell him I was pregnant. There was a long pause on the other end of the phone ... and then came the speed round of questions and comments: "What are we going to do? Do you think we should get married? Oh, my gosh ... Oh, my gosh ... what are we going to do? Do you want to have this baby? What are we going to do? What about volleyball? What will your parents say? What will my parents say? Oh, my gosh!"

Like trapped animals, we were frantically looking for a way out. Then we made our decision. We would take care of it. It wasn't time for us to have a baby yet.

God wasn't consulted. He wasn't invited into our decision.

Adam and Eve hid in the garden after eating the forbidden fruit. My boyfriend and I hid from God and did what we considered to be our only option. We made a plan. He would pick me up and take me to a clinic that I read about in the yellow pages.

When the day came, we drove in icy silence. I was Fort Knox. No one was going to break through the emotional walls I had constructed for protection.

You see there was never a moment that I believed having an abortion was the right thing to do. I only stubbornly and naively believed that my choice was the only ladder to grab out of the horrible pit I had dug for myself. 

I was wrong.  Dead wrong. 

There, in the sterile room of that stale clinic, I used an alias. I wasn't Gwen. My charts did not say that I was Gwen, the girl who was raised by good parents, the girl who was raised in the Word of God to know right from wrong. The counselor I had met with said that using my name could have made me feel uncomfortable with the "harmless and legal procedure" I was having done that day. Nobody else needed to know. I was anonymous.

It was my secret. A secret of chains that bound me in silence for the ensuing fifteen years - a secret kept because I mistakenly assumed that no one else could handle the ugly truth of my sinfulness with grace and forgiveness. I was a Christian girl. Christians don't get pregnant when they aren't married, and Christians don't have abortions, right? It was all too scandalous, and I was crazy afraid of the consequences.

Most of that day was a blur. It was a dark, cold January day. Though the clinic was lit with bright fluorescent lights, the flame of dignity and hope in my heart had grown dim. I blocked out all the voices in my head as they contested what I was doing. I was desperate and scared.

For weeks following my abortion, I went through each day under a dark cloud of despair. I couldn't reconcile what I had done with who I was, and who I was supposed to be. My heart was broken. I felt hopeless and was horribly ashamed. I hated what I had done, and I hated myself for doing it. I was responsible for the death of my baby. It was my fault. I knew it, and it haunted me.

Voices of accusation used to scream in my head. They shouted things like: Murderer! Baby killer! Hypocrite! You can never tell a soul about this! Condemnation kept me shackled. Without realizing it, I was a captive to my own acceptance of those words. I was guilty. A wretch. No excuses. My heart was paralyzed by death. Words just can't express the depth of anguish my soul experienced.

The dark days turned into weeks, which turned into months. Although I could turn on the fake charm like water from a faucet ... oh, how my plastic smile served me well in those days ... I was dying inside! At night, my pillow soaked up rivers of tears. I would lie awake, wondering if my baby was a boy or girl, or if my baby had felt any pain as she was being sucked from my body.

I wept. I wept for both my baby and for myself. It was necessary. It felt right to cry. And though the tears helped my soul grieve, none were as healing as the ones I cried to Jesus when I finally turned back to Him.

Like Peter after the rooster crowed, I wept bitterly at the feet of Jesus in raw repentance. Then, as the psalmist did, I "waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God" (Psalm 40:1-3). Although I didn't deserve His mercy, Jesus forgave me. My forgiveness was immediate and complete, but the healing took time. He gave me a new song. 

Hallelujah! I've been forgiven and transformed by the unconditional love of God. I was dead in my sins, but am now alive in Christ! I am free and it is my privilege to encourage you towards that same freedom in Christ. God longs for you to experience His perfect healing and hope too - no matter what you've done, no matter where you've been, no matter what has left you broken.

What's your story? Jesus came that we would have life abundantly (John 10:10). Not because of anything that we have done to deserve it, but because of what He has done.  His grace is sufficient. The guilt, pain, and shame of our pasts tell us we are disqualified to move on, to serve God, to be free, and to know peace. But to believe this lie is to believe that your sin is outside the scope of God's grace. Nothing could be further from the truth. You have purpose in this life. And though you may have gone through a season of hurt, rejection, or pain, God can and will pick you up and place you back on track. I'm living proof.

There is no condemnation for those in Christ. While the enemy loves to cast false guilt, our Lord loves to extend grace and forgiveness, which is the remedy that restores all your broken pieces. Don't hold onto those pieces. Don't hide them behind a plastic smile. Bring them into the light, lay them at the feet of Jesus, and let go. Allow your wounds to be healed today.

Let's Pray
Holy Father, today I come to You with the broken pieces in my life that I have been hesitant to deal with. Take my hand and lead as I walk past my fears and doubts to the refuge of Your forgiving arms. Please take what is broken and transform it into beautiful. Please free me from the lies that have me shackled in silence and that keep me from believing that Your forgiveness can be mine.  Help me to trust that You can redeem and restore every area of my life.
In Jesus' Name I pray,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Ask yourself these questions:

What secrets or lies am I allowing to hold me captive?

How could God use my story for His glory?

Am I willing to share my experiences and failures for the transformation power of Christ to be seen by others?

Then, read Luke 7:36-50. 

More From The Girlfriends
Okay ... take a deep breath with me! Some of you may feel disturbed that a locked door in your heart has been nudged open this morning. I also know that 30-40% of you that are reading this devotion share my experience of abortion. There is healing and forgiveness for you, too. Through the help of my local Pregnancy Care Center, I went through a post-abortive Bible study that helped me to know complete healing. If you have not taken that step toward healing, I encourage you to contact the Abortion Recovery CARE line at 1-866-4-My-Recovery (1-866-469-7326) - visit www.AbortionRecovery.org - or call your local Pregnancy Care Center today to sign up for a post-abortive Bible study or retreat.

Portions of today's devotion are taken from Gwen's book, Broken Into Beautiful. Her full testimony is featured in the book, along with Scriptural truths and stories of how God has brought restoration the hearts of many other women who had painful life wounds. God delights to transform lives ... including your own. Experience God's healing and hope in your life today as you read Broken Into Beautiful! To order the book online, please visit Gwen's website at www.GwenSmith.net/store.

To listen to the song Broken Into Beautiful or to request prayer and connect with other GiGs, click over to Gwen's Facebook page at www.Facebook.com/GwenSmithMusic . 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 1, 2011 

AAA Club of Marriage 

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband-that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly" (Ephesians 5:33 Amplified).

Friend To Friend
Are you a member of the Triple A Club of Marriage?  You didn't know there was such a thing?  Well, there's not an official one that you can call if your marriage breaks down, but I have one that I keep in the back of my mind.  It stands for adoration, admiration, and appreciation.  Did you know that big tough man of yours longs to be admired?  He desires for someone to think he's brave and brilliant, loving and logical, tough and tender, handsome and humorous, masculine and magical. That's the stuff of your man's dreams.   

What does it mean to adore your husband?  Basically, it means to love him with all your heart...and let him know about it. Someone once said, "I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved."   Do you want to see your husband's face light up like a full moon?  Tell him you are amazed that he knows how to ________ or that you are impressed by his _______, then sit back and watch him glow.

When the TV cameras pan the sidelines of a college football game, my heart always melts in a pool of butter when a young man waves his hand and says those precious two words: "Hi Mom."  It's almost like he's saying, "Look at me! Look at me!"  The truth is men want to be admired by the woman of their dreams.  It starts with mom, and then continues with the Misses.

Where does your husband go for adoration, admiration and appreciation?  He goes somewhere.  All men do.  Does he go to work in hopes of hearing "job well done"?  Does he go to the ball field in hopes of hearing "way to go man"?  Does he go back home to mother to hear "I'm so proud of you son"?  Does he work late in hopes of a few compliments from the gals in the office? Does he feast on compliments from patients or clients? Does he hang out at the gym flexing and building his biceps?  Tell me, where does your man go to be admired?

Dr. Willard Harley says, "When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more.  He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.  That inspiration helps him prepare for the responsibilities of life.  Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband's existing achievements.  When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck.  A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards.  For some men - those with fragile self-images - admiration also helps them believe in themselves.  Without it these men seem inherently more defensive about their shortcomings....While criticism causes men to become defensive, admiration energizes and motivates them.  A man expects - and needs - his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan.  He draws confidence from her support and can usually achieve far more with her." (Dr. Willard Harley, His Needs Her Needs (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Fleming H. Revell, 1986) p151.)

You become the mirror in which your husband sees himself.  So if he's looking sort of glum lately, maybe you need to renew your membership into the AAA Club of marriage and try a little adoration, admiration and appreciation around your home. 

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I pray that I will be my husband's biggest fan.  Please help me restrain my critical tongue.  Help me to see him as You see Him...a child of the King.  I do so love my husband; help me to make sure that he knows just how much.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
If you have been withholding admiring words from your husband, it may feel strange to begin giving them.  First and foremost, be authentic - be real.  If you contrive admiring words, he will be able to tell.  Start with one compliment or word of appreciation.  It may be as simple as "thank you." Soon the admiration will begin to flow...hopefully both ways.  Here are some ideas to get you started:


Place an "I love you sign in a public place." (I put a sign outside of my husband's office window to surprise him on Valentine's Day.  The fact that all his patients saw it was an extra boost!) 
Write him a love letter. 
Write an acrostic from A-Z of reasons you adore, admire, and appreciate him. 
Leave an "I love you" message on his voice mail. 
Write him a thank you note for something specific he did for you.

More From The Girlfriends 

Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams?  The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night?  Then you'll want to read Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams...Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For. To read an excerpt or watch an interview on the book, visit http://www.sharonjaynes.com/.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 2, 2011 

Harnessing the Power of the Past   

Mary Southerland 


Today's Truth
"I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." (Psalm 40:1-2, NIV)

Friend To Friend
Florida is famous for its sinkholes. I personally find them fascinating since I grew up in Texas where most holes are made intentionally. As I studied these overnight wonders, an interesting explanation emerged. Scientists assert that sinkholes occur when the underground resources gradually dry up, causing the surface soil to lose its underlying support. Everything simply caves in - forming an ugly pit.

Depression and sinkholes have a lot in common. Depression seems to overwhelm with a vicious suddenness when it is actually the result of a malignant and constant process. Inner resources are slowly depleted until one day there is nothing left. The world caves in and darkness reigns.

Depression is America's number one health problem. Someone once called it "a dark tunnel without a ray of light" while cartoonists portray it as "a little black cloud hovering overhead." I have a friend who says, "Some days you're the bug. Some days you're the windshield." Many believe that depression is simply a spiritual problem while others insist it is an emotional and physical disorder. They are all right. Studies indicate that over half of all women and one out of three men struggle with depression on a regular basis. Because no one is immune to the darkness, we must learn to face it honestly and with emotional and spiritual integrity.

That moment came for me in the spring of 1995 when my world fell apart. I was empty and completely exhausted. It seemed as if I had been living in the fast and furious lane forever. Overwhelmed, I sat down and mentally listed the demands on my life:


Serving as Pastor's wife in a large and fast-growing church 
Raising two young children 
Maintaining a hectic speaking schedule 
Directing the Women's Ministry of our church 
Teaching a weekly and monthly Bible study 
Counseling women in crisis
Playing the piano for three worship services 
Teaching twenty piano and voice students
No wonder I was struggling. I was just plain tired. Being a perfectionist, I had always been very strong and driven to excel with little sympathy for weak people. Now I, the strong one, couldn't get out of bed. Getting dressed by the time my children returned from school meant it was a good day. The simplest decisions sent me into a panic and the thought of facing crowds was overwhelming.  Many times, I walked to the front door of the church but couldn't go in. I felt guilty missing services but couldn't handle the sympathetic looks and questioning stares as I stood, weeping uncontrollably. I was paralyzed, imprisoned in a bottomless pit where loneliness and despair reigned, wreaking emotional havoc from their throne of darkness. I had no idea how I had gotten there and what was even more frightening was the fact that I had no idea how to escape! I did the only thing I could do. I cried out to God.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand" (Psalm 40:1-2, NIV).

With that single heart cry, my journey from darkness into light began. The first step was to recognize the factors that can trigger depression; a lack of replenishing relationships, various chemical imbalances, and a poor self-image, just to name a few. One of the most common and deadly factors is failure to deal with the past. The "mire" mentioned in Psalm 40:2 means "sediment at the bottom." When our children were small, we frequented the beach. Wading out into the ocean, they took turns pushing a beach ball under water and counting to see who could hold the ball under water the longest. Eventually their arms would tire, or the ball would escape their control, popping to the surface. The "mire" in our lives is like that beach ball. The "sediment" or "junk" that we have never dealt with settles at the bottom of our souls, randomly popping up until we run out of energy to keep it submerged. Eventually, this mire works its way to the surface, spilling ugliness and darkness into our life.

"Mire" comes in all shapes and sizes - buried pain, unresolved anger, hidden sin or a great loss. I had never really dealt with my mother's death or faced some very painful parts of my past. As I looked back over my life a startling realization came - I had painted a picture in my heart and mind of how I wanted my childhood to be instead of how it really was. I had spent my whole life running from the past by filling the present with frenzied activity. In the following weeks and months, the Lord and I sifted through the enormous pile of "mire" that had settled into my spirit and life. Together we faced experiences that I had carefully locked away until they slammed into my heart and mind with breathtaking force and fresh pain; an alcoholic father, the trusted family doctor who molested me, times of loneliness and rejection, haunting failures, unreasonable fears that were never spoken. It seemed as if the flood of polluted memories would never end.

But God is good - providing a defense mechanism for those experiences that are beyond our ability to face. He gently tucks them away until we are ready. When we bury pain alive, it keeps popping up at unexpected moments. Pain must be dealt with and buried...dead.  Freedom from the pit of darkness demands a confrontation of our past, straining every experience through the truth that "all" things work together for our good. The will of God admits no defeat and penalizes no one. We can allow our past to defeat us or empower us. Harnessing the power of the past is a compelling weapon in the war against darkness. 

Let's Pray
Father, I am so tired of the darkness that greets me every morning when I open my eyes and stares me down at night when I try to sleep. I am no longer willing to be a prisoner of my past. Show me the sins I need to confess and turn away from. Heal the wounds that have hurt for so long. I lay my past at Your feet and ask You to make it a cornerstone for the new life I can have in You.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Take a few minutes to think back over your life. Make a list of the "mire" that has settled in your heart and soul. Be specific. It may be a sin you need to confess or the pain of a broken relationship that needs to be healed.  Ask God to show you the things in your past that have become footholds of darkness in your life today. Face each one. Deal with it and let it go.

Read Romans 8:28. What good things has God brought out of the pain in your past? Is your faith stronger? Have you been able to encourage others who have experienced that same pain?

More From The Girlfriends
If you or someone you love is dealing with depression, I encourage you to check out these FREE resources on my website. My book, Hope in the Midst of Depression, is a practical guide for anyone dealing with depression and will help you learn how t

·         Change a negative thought life into positive, healthy thought patterns.

·         Control and use the power of emotions to avoid erratic mood swings.

·         Enjoy better relationships by establishing replenishing friendships and managing draining ones.

·         Re-set priorities to have a more balanced life 

Looking for a Bible Study? Enroll in Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. The current topic is How to Handle Hurt. We will experience pain and hurt but we can learn how to handle the hurt in a way that honors God and assures a life of victory. 

Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.   

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 3, 2011 

Lost that Lovin' Feeling? 

Sharon Jaynes   

Today's Truth
"Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love" (Revelation 2:4, NIV).   

Friend To Friend
If you're married, what do you do when you've lost that loving' feelin'? Maybe you truly adored your husband in the beginning, but now you can't remember why. Maybe you honestly admired his finer qualities, but now you can't remember what they were. Maybe you appreciated his wonderful attributes, but now take them for granted. What do you do now?

Here's a statistic you might find interesting. According to an analysis of the National Survey of Families and Households, 86 percent of unhappily married people who stick it out find that, five years later, their marriages are happier. In fact, nearly 60 percent of those who rated their marriage as unhappy in the late 1980's, and who stayed married, rated their same marriage "very happy" or "quite happy" when re-interviewed five years later ( Linda J. Waite and Maggie Gallagher, The Case for Marriage (New York: Doubleday, 2000) 148). In comparison, those who divorced and remarried and divorced again at a rate of 60 percent (Judith Wallerstein and Julia A. Lewis, and Sandra Blakeslee, The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce, Hyperion, 2000) p295).

So, starting over may very well be the answer ... as long as it's with the same man.

In the book of Revelation in the Bible, God had this to say to the church at Ephesus. "Yet I hold this against you; You have forsaken your first love" (Revelation 2:4). Ephesus was one of the most loving churches in the New Testament and yet, somewhere along the way, they lost that initial thrill of knowing Christ. Their love for each other and for God had grown cold.

As I read God's lament, I whispered a prayer. "Oh Lord, how many of us women have forgotten our first love. We've forgotten the thrill we felt when we first met our husbands: the spine tingling chills when he walked into a room, the heart skipping flutter when he called on the phone, the tender wooing when we opened a letter penned by his hand, the electricity of sexual desire stirred with a kiss. Somewhere between taking out the garbage, paying the bills, running carpool, mowing the lawn, disciplining the kids, folding the laundry...somewhere among the mundane routine of life, we've lost that lovin' feelin'.

How do we get it back? God gave the church two simple steps for the Bride of Christ to renew her passion for her Beloved, and I believe we can apply the same principles to renewing our passion for the man of our dreams.

Remember and Return
Remember what drew you to your husband in the first place? Remember how you tried to please him, capture his heart, and win his affection? That may have been fifty pounds and a full head of hair ago, but that young man who longed to be adored, admired, and appreciated still lives within his heart. He wants to know if he still "has what it takes." Let him know that he does.

Everyone loves a love story. Tell your children the story of how you first met and fell in love. Remember special days such as your first date, your first kiss, or when you first realized he was the man you wanted to marry. Listen to a tape or watch a video of your wedding. Steve and I celebrate not only our wedding anniversary but also the day he asked me to marry him. I'm sure my son has tired of hearing the story time and time again, but he's never doubted that his parents are crazy about each other.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I so want to be a woman that is on fire for You. I want my spiritual passion to be ablaze and never cool. Likewise, I want my marriage to be a passionate example of Christ and the Church. Help me to always remember what drew me to my husband and show me ways to keep that love strong.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
If you have kids, tell them the story of how you met and fell in love with your husband at the dinner table tonight.

If you aren't married, tell someone how you met Jesus Christ and gave your life to Him.

If you are married, write down what drew you to your husband initially.

If you are not married, write down what you long for in the man of your dreams.

Let's share some ideas. Visit www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and tell some ways that you keep the love alive in your marriage.

More From The Girlfriends
February is the month of love and a wonderful time to contemplate our marriages. Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams? The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night? Then you'll want to read Becoming the Woman of His Dreams - Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For  by Sharon Jaynes.   

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 4, 2011 

Coming Out of the Dark

Mary Southerland 


Today's Truth
"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" (Psalm 40:1,NIV).

Friend To Friend
Patience is not my greatest virtue. I do not like to wait - for anyone or anything - which is precisely why you should never get in line behind me at the grocery store. It doesn't matter if there are two people or ten people in front of me, my line will invariably be the slowest line. I do not like to wait on God either ... but was forced to do so when I found myself sitting at the bottom of a pit called clinical depression. I was empty and more tired than I had ever been in my life. I kept asking, "How did I get here?" 

Depression is not an overnight phenomenon. I can honestly say that I don't know a single person who has climbed out of bed in the morning and said, "Hmmm ... I think I will jump into the pit of depression today." Deliverance from that pit is usually not an overnight process either. It takes time and patience.

1.  Wait.  The psalmist simply says, "I waited." Waiting is not passive. Waiting is meant to be a time of preparation, a time of rest and healing, 

To wait means to accept the pit.  Isaiah 45:3 (NIV) "I will give you hidden treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name." 

Any time "LORD" is capitalized in Scripture, it means "Abba Father." This verse indicates that our Father has gone before us and in every dark moment or painful circumstance has buried a treasure or stored a secret. The only way we can find the treasure or learn the secret is to pass through that darkness. Some things cannot be learned in the light. To wait means to accept the pit, knowing it is for our good. 

To wait means to admit there is a problem.  Isaiah 40:29 (NLT) "He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak."   
Emotional health begins at the point of emotional integrity with a willingness to say "I need help!" When clinical depression overwhelmed my life, my husband was the pastor of a large church in South Florida. We could choose to be transparent and real or we could sweep my struggle under the rug. We concluded that in order to be right, we had to be real. Dan and I shared my battle with the staff, the deacons and then with the entire church. Yes, we took a risk but learned an important lesson in doing so. A shared load is a lighter load. We were created to need each other.

To wait means to be still.  Psalm 40:1 "I waited ..." To wait means to hope in and look for someone or something who will rescue us.
So much about God can never be known on the run. I was so wrapped up in serving God that I had failed to be wrapped up in Him. During those two years in the pit, I not only gave up every role of leadership, there were many times when I could not even attend church because of panic attacks. God taught me an important truth. He is more concerned with who I am than what I do. No one can take my place in His heart.

2.  Be patient.  It took twenty-two years for the McDonald's hamburger chain to make its first billion dollars. It took IBM forty-six years and Xerox sixty-three years to make their first billion. Harvey Mackay, in his book Swim with the Sharks, tells of an interview with the 88-year-old President of Japan's largest and most successful electrical enterprise. The interview went as follows:

Question: Mr. President, does your company have long-range goals?

Answer: "Yes."

Question: "How long are your long-range goals?"

Answer: "Two hundred and fifty years."

Question: "What do you need to carry them out?"

Answer: "Patience."

David said, "I waited patiently for the Lord." The word "patiently" means "without tiring and with perseverance." It took me many years to hit rock bottom. It took me two years to climb out of that pit and I am still climbing. Yes, I still battle depression from time to time. Depression keeps me broken and on my face before God - and that is a good thing.

Depression may not be the problem you are facing, but at some point in life, we will all face some kind of pit. It may be a pit that we have dug with our own hands of wrong choices or it could be a pit that has been uniquely designed for us by the enemy. But a pit is a pit - a place of paralyzing fear and numbing doubt that is constantly fed by our human frailty and desperate attempts to escape the darkness.

The good news is that God is drawn to broken people. Psalm 40:1 says "He turned to me." Notice it does not say that David turned to God. Honestly, I doubt David had the strength to turn to God ... so God turned to him. God heard the cry of David and he will hear yours. I don't know if you are in a pit and need help or if someone you love is in that pit and needs your help, but one thing I do know is that the purpose of the pit is to purify and then restore. Right now, surrender the broken pieces of your life to God. He can and will bring you out of the dark. 

Let's Pray

Father, I am so tired. I can't hear Your voice or sense Your presence in my life. My faith is weak and I need Your strength to go on. Right now, I am laying the broken pieces of my life at Your feet and counting on You to come through for me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Read Psalm 40:1-3. "I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

Circle all of the "action" words in these verses. What does God ask you to do? What does God say that He will do? Do you believe Him? Are you willing to let Him be God in your life?

More From The Girlfriends
If you or someone you love is dealing with depression, I encourage you to check out these FREE resources on my website. My book, Hope in the Midst of Depression, is a practical guide for anyone dealing with depression and will help you learn how t

·         Change a negative thought life into positive, healthy thought patterns.

·         Control and use the power of emotions to avoid erratic mood swings.

·         Enjoy better relationships by establishing replenishing friendships and managing draining ones.

-         Re-set priorities to have a more balanced life

Looking for a Bible Study? Enroll in Mary's weekly online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. The current topic is How to Handle Hurt. We will experience pain and hurt but we can learn how to handle the hurt in a way that honors God and assures a life of victory.

Need a friend? Connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.   

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 7, 2011
"Don't Scratch That Itch"
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
"When tempted, no one should say, 'God is tempting me.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed" (James 1:13-14, NIV).

Friend To Friend
I once woke up with a spider bite that was the size of a quarter. It may as well have been the size of North Carolina for as much as it itched! I was half-tempted to scratch off my arm. That nasty bite was just begging to be scratched. However, I have learned a thing or two in my thirty-something years, and one thing I know for sure: it is best not to scratch this type of itch.

It would be like opening a bag of chips with the naive intention of eating only one (yeah, right!) I knew that if I started scratching my bug bite, it would be nearly impossible to stop. I would regret having ever started.

Super-itchy bug bites are a lot like temptations. Temptations are itchy! The call on us with urgent voices that scream, "Scratch me!  Scratch me!" Yet, in all reality, a little scratch will not satisfy temptation's itch at all ... it will just make matters worse. When we scratch the itch of temptation, the itch does not diminish. To the contrary, it increases.

The Bible teaches us that when we resist temptation, our faith is then mobilized and the muscles of our character are strengthened. Let's look at what that looked like for a guy named Joseph. (For the full account, pause here and read Genesis 39.)

Joseph was a man of integrity who did right in the eyes of the Lord, but he definitely faced some temptation! He was seduced by temptation in the form of his master's wife, Mrs. Potiphar. You see, Mrs. Potiphar wanted her husband's right-hand man to sleep with her, and she pursued him with aggression. Hers was a hand-delivered invitation for Joseph to sin that had itchy written all over it. But he flat-out refused. His heart was determined to honor God.

"My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you are his wife.  How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?" Though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her (Genesis 39:9-10).

Temptation chased Joseph relentlessly. Oh, how he must have longed for the itching to stop! To give in would be sinful. To give in was simply not an option for this young man of character. So on the day that Potiphar's wife caught him by the cloak and begged again for Joseph to sleep with her, Joseph ran out of the house. He ran from that tempting situation as fast as his legs would carry him.

God was honored in Joseph's response. 

He ran from temptation. 

We would be wise to do the same.

What do you need to run from today? Have you determined in your heart to honor God in everything? Temptation comes in all shapes and sizes. It might be calling your name from your pantry - or from your computer - or from a bottle - or from another cubicle in your office. What temptations do you face today? Name them and run the other way! Don't scratch that itch! Determine in your heart that you will choose the path that brings honor to God, and call on Him for strength.

I realize that dealing with temptation is not easy. When that nasty spider bit my arm, I struggled not to scratch the bite. I had to re-direct my thinking to persevere through the temptation. When we come face to face with temptations, God's strength is always available to us. We need God's strength. Ours will fail us. Friend, when we resist temptation, we get to experience the peace and protection of God, our faith is mobilized and the muscles of our character are strengthened.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I need You so much. I constantly find myself being dragged away and enticed by temptation. Please give me strength to run the other way, and give me the wisdom to run to Your arms. I really want to be a woman of godly character. Help me be that woman! 

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Contemplate the following questions:  What have you been dragged away and enticed by in the past?  How did you respond?  How have you grown from those experiences? 

Though our sovereign God allows trials to enter our lives, He does not ever tempt us.  (James 1) Tuck that truth in your heart today, and the next time you experience a temptation - great or small - recognize that the enemy is behind the allure.  Then tell him to get behind you and pray that Jesus will re-direct your thinking.

More From The Girlfriends
God's love is perfect. He has seen our biggest failures, our greatest places of shame and hurt - and yet, He beckons us to His love, forgiveness, healing, and grace. He has a plan for each life that is far beyond the shattered matters with which we deal. Every step of transformation begins with our surrender to the heart of God. If you would like to learn more about how your brokenness can be reworked into a picture of God's beauty, order Gwen's book Broken Into Beautiful. This resource will help you experience the power of hope, healing and restoration.

Got FACEBOOK?? Let's meet there and do life together on a whole new level: http://www.facebook.com/GwenSmithMusic

Gwen Smith is a speaker, author, worship leader, and songwriter. For more information, visit her website at: www.GwenSmith.net.   

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 8, 2011 

God Can Resurrect Your Marriage from the Ashes   

Part 1   

Sharon Jaynes 

(In honor of Valentine's Day, Sharon's February devotions will be on marriage.)

Today's Truth
"Then he [God] said to me , "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, 'Dry bones hear the word of the LORD!' This is what the Sovereign LORD says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life.  Then you will know that I am the LORD.'" (Ezekiel 37:4-6 NIV).

Friend To Friend
It was January 7, 2005 when a group of friends gathered at Don and Jona's house to watch the Dr. Phil show. Jona had written in to a contest that Good Housekeeping, in conjunction with Dr. Phil, had on "life change." Of fifteen thousand applicants, Jona was the grand prize winner! As the winner, Don and Jona were guests on the Dr. Phil Show to tell their story. But I didn't need Dr. Phil to tell me the story, I lived it with them. Let Jona and I share how we remember it ...

Don was twenty-seven-years old when Jona first met him on a spring church beach retreat.  Immediately, she knew he was exactly what she had always dreamed of in a husband. Don had a strong faith in God, a good job, a college degree, drive, and dreams for the future. He was physically fit, witty, adventurous, sexy, and "just plain gorgeous." On top of that, he was constantly surrounded by women at the retreat that were vying for his attention.

When they returned home, Jona could hardly believe her good fortune when Don asked her to dinner. Don and Jona dated only three months before he asked her to marry him, and on March 30, 1985, before the next spring beach retreat, they were husband and wife.

Their first year of marriage was a blissful blur of candlelight dinners, spontaneous lovemaking, and endless conversation. The icing on the one-year anniversary cake was the purchase of their first home. By their second anniversary, Don quit his job to start his own business. Life was clicking along at a steady pace toward acquiring the American Dream. By their fourth anniversary, Jona had their first child and joined the ranks of "stay-at-home-mom." But, after twenty-four months of Don's new business venture, the couple faced a second mortgage, a dwindling bank account, and a looming cloud of debt. Jona was forced to go back to work and seeds of discontentment, disrespect, and disenchantment began to take root.

"I was so mad at Don for the mistakes I felt he had made," Jona explained. "Deep down, I wanted him to be God and to fulfill all my needs. He made a poor God. When my mother died in 1993, I sank into a clinical depression. I spent most of my time at home in bed. And even though I had two children by this time, I withdrew from being a mom, as well as being a wife. I then began to eat...and eat.  I went from 140 pounds to 240 pounds."

"Don and I had the perfect engagement, a beautiful wedding, and a fantasy honeymoon. But when the obstacles came along, I wasn't prepared to maneuver over, around, or through them.  I thought "This is not the way the story goes. What happened to the fairy tale?" 

"Don changed jobs about every other year, however, he always provided for our needs. It just drove me crazy that he couldn't stay put."

"I remember one day Don said, 'Why are you eating and gaining all this weight?' I shot back, 'I'm doing this because I don't want you to touch me. Besides, I can lose the weight if I want to, but you'll always be a loser.' Little by little, word by word, angry look by angry look, rejection by rejection; I began the process of destroying my husband. Comments like 'You're so stupid,' 'duh,' and 'can't you do anything right?' were constantly spewing from my mouth. I was in pain and I wanted Don to be in pain, too. One day, I made a list of all of Don's faults. He found the list, but I didn't even care."

Jona always thought that since Don was a Christian, he would never leave her. However, there came a point where he could not take the emotional turmoil any longer. On May 6, 2001, Don left. Jona had destroyed her marriage and her man. On January 31, 2003, the divorce was final.

"A couple of months after our divorce, I woke up to God's still small voice," Jona explained. "He seemed to say, 'Is this what you wanted? Did you want a divorce? Do you want Don to marry another woman and have your children torn between spending time in two different households? Do you want to be alone? Were you the wife I called you to be?' Oh God," Jona cried, "What have I done?"

Now friends, the next part of the story is what Dr. Phil did not tell you. God began working on Jona's heart. She didn't change because of a self-help book or a ten step program, but because of the miraculous work of the Holy Spirit. Do you want to know what really happened? Do you want to know what Dr. Phil did not tell his viewers? Grab a cup of coffee and join me tomorrow for the rest of the story. 


Let's Pray
Dear LORD, help me be the woman my husband needs for me to be. Help me to stop concentrating on his faults and failures, but start looking at my own. Show me. Teach me. Empower me.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
I know Today's Truth seems like a strange verse.  It is! Go back and read Ezekiel chapter 37. If God can do that with a bunch of dry bones, just think what He can do with your marriage!

Do you see yourself in Jona?

Is God telling you there is something you need to do differently in your marriage?

Let's chat, visit www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and tell me how changes you have made have affected your marriage.  Or tell me how you are committing to change today.

More From The Girlfriends
Today's devotion was taken from Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For. Sharon interviewed hundreds of men to see what they really wanted in the woman of their dreams, and their answers are there for you to see!  If you would like to have a husband who is sorry to leave home in the morning and eager to return, then this book is for you! 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com