Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

October 5, 2010
Iron Sharpens Iron 

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17 TNIV).

Friend To Friend
In my silverware drawer at home, I have about 15 knives of various shapes and sizes.  However, I only use about four of them and the others simply are taking up space.  The problem is, the other knives are dull and I've never taken the time to sharpen them.  I could just toss them in the trash, but that seems like such a waste.

The same can be true in our own lives. The Bible says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17 TNIV). When we don't have friends that challenge us and encourage us to grow, we grow dull.  Ultimately, we become "not the sharpest knife in the drawer" and other ones are chosen for tasks that we would love to do.  Is there someone that God is calling you to sharpen?  Is there someone who God is nudging you to invite to be a sharpening agent?

Jesus gave us a word of caution when it comes to "sharpening" our friends.  Do it in love.  Alice Miller has a good rule of thumb for correction: "If it is very painful for you to criticize your friends, you are safe in doing it.  But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that is the time to hold your tongue."

Bonnie is one of my friends that keep me sharp.  Her sometimes brutal honesty is couched in such love for me that I can take the sharpening stone even if it hurts.  It is a tough love that I have grown to appreciate and admire.  Sometimes her honesty makes me burst out laughing.

Bonnie lives in Michigan and I live in North Carolina.  Because I am a writer and she works for a publishing house, we frequently attend the same conventions.  Bonnie and I take every opportunity to visit and room together at many of these meetings.  One night, after a long exhausting day of meetings, Bonnie and I were snuggled in our adjacent beds chatting.  I confided in her about an internal struggle I was having with a particular person. 

"That's just plain old sin," Bonnie said.

"What?" I asked

"Sharon, that's sin.  You need to pray about that," she flatly replied.

I have to tell you, I laughed till I cried.  Who else but Bonnie would call a spade and spade and label my whining for exactly what it was.  I love her to pieces.  She's not afraid to pull out the sharpening stone when she notices I'm getting a bit dull.

But everyone can't be a Bonnie in our lives.  She has earned the right to sharpen me because she loves me well.  Likewise, we can't go around expecting to use our words to sharpen others around us without loving them first.  Otherwise the words will have destructive power and will not be received at all.

As women, we love to soak in warm bubble baths, lather in fragrant soaps, and soften with aromatic oils.  But all too often, when it comes to removing dirt from a friend, we pull out the hard-bristled scrub brush of harsh words and scrub, scrub, scrub. The end result is often not the removal of dirt, but a wounded, emotionally scraped and bruised soul. Powerful words are not caustic words.  They are gentle, tender words wrapped in an attitude of love.  Paul wrote to the Colossians, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience" (Colossians 3:12).

We all make mistakes.  The prophet Isaiah wrote, "We all like sheep have gone astray" (Isaiah 53:6).  The composer Beethoven said it this way: "We all make mistakes, but everyone makes different mistakes."  The philosopher Goethe remarked, "One has only to grow older to become more tolerant.  I see no fault that I might not have committed myself."

I am not suggesting that we withhold the sharpening tool when it is needed.  But just make sure it is well oiled with love and a gentle spirit before the rub begins. 

Let's Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for friends that have sharpened me over the years.  I pray that I may be a friend that sharpens others with love and encouragement and never wounds with hurtful comments and scorn. Thank You for always lovingly correcting and encouraging me through the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Do you have a special friend who keeps you sharp?  If not, pray that God will send you one!

Make a list of ways that you can sharpen your friends.  Look over the list carefully and prayerfully.  Now - get started!

One way you can sharpen your friends is by passing along the Girlfriends in God devotions!  Let's get sharp together!

Click on www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and tell me about a friend that keeps you sharp!

More From The Girlfriends
I don't know about you, but I want to be known as a person who is a sharpening stone, not a person who throws stones.  If you would like to learn more about how to lovingly use your words to sharpen those in your sphere of influence, check out The Power of a Woman's Words.  Not only will it change your life, but you'll learn how to use your words to change the lives of those around you!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 6, 2010 

Are you ready? 

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
1 Timothy 6:17 (NLT) "Tell those who are rich in this world not to be proud and not to trust in their money, which will soon be gone. But their trust should be in the living God, who richly gives us all we need for our enjoyment."

Friend To Friend
It's that time of year again. I went shopping today and could not believe what I saw. One store displayed Halloween costumes, Thanksgiving turkeys and a fully decorated Christmas tree all at the same time. Now I am all about being prepared and planning ahead ... but I think we may have taken things just a bit too far when it comes to the holidays.  I am absolutely not going to allow myself to get caught up in the materialistic aspect of the 2010 holidays - for two reasons.

First, money is tight.
Our economy is in trouble. Many people have lost the job they have had for many years. Others have lost the house in which they raised their family.  Some people are facing each day, praying and hoping to find a job ... any job ... to put food on the table. The retail industry is responding by having "the biggest sale of the year" every other week and trying to get a head start on holiday spending. We need to put money and "stuff" in its right place.

The great Bible teacher, Howard Hendricks, was invited, along with his wife, to have dinner at the home of a very wealthy man. The Hendricks were slightly apprehensive about spending an entire evening with someone so powerful and famous but as the meal progressed, they discovered that their host was completely unassuming and surprisingly down to earth. As they were leaving, Howard Hendricks turned and asked the man, "How could you grow up in such wealth and not be consumed by materialism?" The man smiled and replied, "My parents wisely taught us that everything in our home was either an idol or a tool." What a great truth for all of us!

In Philippians 4:12 the Apostle Paul writes, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Paul is driving home the point that his contentment does not depend upon "stuff" and neither should ours. Having experienced both wealth and poverty, Paul had learned to be content within - no matter what the circumstances without might be.

Notice that Paul "learned" to be content; it did not come naturally. "Learn" literally means "initiated into the secret." In other words, Paul's circumstances were his introduction to the life truth that real contentment has nothing to do with either prosperity or poverty. Contentment is an inside job, the result of knowing God and living life against the backdrop of eternity.   

Second, time is short.
The psalmist writes, "Teach us how short our lives really are so that we may be wise" (Psalm 90:12). Each day is a gift from God. We need to be wise in how we use that gift. Wisdom sees time - not as something to spend - but as something to invest. The way we spend our time is an eternal investment.

Speaking of eternity ...

Just last week, a family friend died in his sleep. His death was sudden and unexpected from an earthly viewpoint, but I know there was a party going on in heaven when he arrived. We have known Jamall Badry for over thirty years and have been so blessed by his ministry of music and his heart for sharing Christ. As I tried to wrap my mind around his death, I got to thinking about the night he died. I don't think he knew that before the night was done, he would meet Jesus face to face. Jamall went to sleep in his earthly home and woke up in his heavenly home. He was ready. Are you?

I sometimes think we spend more time preparing for the holiday season than we spend preparing for eternity. Not this year! Let's truly celebrate Jesus and give Him thanks by coming to Him in complete surrender.

Let's Pray

Father, my heart and life are so often filled with greed and discontent. Right now, I choose to take my eyes off of "things" and focus on You and what You want for my life.  Thank You for all that you have given to me and for what You have done in my heart. I praise You, knowing that in You, I have everything I need. 

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Consider the following questions:

   If you died tonight, where would you spend eternity, girlfriend?

   Have you surrendered your life to Jesus Christ?

   Have you accepted the gift of salvation that Jesus freely offers?

   Have you turned from your sin and turned to God?

   Are you willing to become a fully devoted follower of Christ? 


More From The Girlfriends

Sharon, Gwen and I want to encourage you to surrender your heart and life to Jesus Christ. It is the reason Girlfriends in God exists. We love you and want to take you to Heaven with us! For more information about how to have a personal relationship with God, visit our website and click on the link: Seeking God. We would love to hear about the decision you made today so we can pray for you and celebrate with you!

Need help understanding the Bible? Check out Mary's online Bible study, When an Ordinary Woman Meets an Extraordinary God, and join women across the world in learning how to apply God's truths to your daily life.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 7, 2010 

Keep Going! Don't Give Up!

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us"  (Hebrews 12:1 NIV).

Friend To Friend
My son was fast, and he ran with a fast crowd.  As a matter of fact, his entire track team was pretty fast!  In the ninth grade, Steven participated in the conference track meet, running the 1600 meters.  (That's four times around the big circle.)  I was so proud of him as he ran like a gazelle around the first lap, about six feet behind the first place participant.  But, at some point during the beginning of the second lap we saw an unidentified flying object soar over Steven's head.

"What was that?" my husband asked.  "It's a bird.  It's a plane.  No, it's Steven's shoe!"

All the fans were laughing and pointing as they noticed Steven's left running shoe fly heavenward and land on the grassy field.  But amazingly, Steven kept running and never missed a beat.  With one shoe off and one shoe on, he continued running.  The atmosphere of the race sparked with excitement and the focus seemed to change.  It became less about who would win and more about if Steven would make it to the finish line.  All curious eyes were now on one lean runner.  Would he stop?  Would he slow down?  Would his sock stay on?

His teammates began to run around the track, cheering him on.  "Come on Steven! Don't give up!  Don't slow down!  Keep going!"

Surprisingly, at the urging of his teammates, Steven sped up.  By the third lap, he had passed the first place runner by several paces.  But then predictably, his sock started to work its way down the ankle and the toe was flopping like a loose sole of a worn old shoe.  Undaunted, Steven ran on, sock flopping behind. 

When Steven crossed the finish line in first place, the crowd erupted in applause and laughter.  He had broken his best personal running time!

"Son, maybe you should have kicked off both shoes.  No tellin' what you could have done," my husband cheered.  "You made your best time ever.  What made the difference?"

"I knew everybody was looking at me," Steven answered.  "It wasn't just a race anymore, but they were watching to see what I'd do.  It made me go faster.  It made me want to do better."

All through our lives, we will notice "fellow runners" who have lost more than a shoe - they have lost their hopes, their dreams, and their will to finish the race.  What will we do?  What can we do?  We can cheer them on by offering a timely word of encouragement and run alongside them shouting, "Come on friend! Don't give up!  Don't slow down!  Keep going!"

Who knows? That friend may do more than simply finish the race.  She may even take first place!

Maybe you're that friend.  That's why we're here.  We all need girlfriends to cheer us on.  So consider yourself encouraged today.  You keep going girlfriend!  We're cheering for you!

Let's Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, is there someone that I can encourage today?  Is there someone who is growing weary in the race, who has lost hope, or who has quit altogether?  Show me one person today that I can cheer on.  Show me one person today who needs to hear about the One who loves them best - You.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Has there been a person in your life who has cheered you on when you hit rough times?  If so, consider writing her a note or sending her an e-mail of thanks.

Is there someone that you have noticed isn't running too well these days?  Perhaps God is calling you to be that cheerleader for them.

Make a list of some tangible ways that you can "cheer" a friend on. Let's share them with each other at www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.  You ideas may be just what someone needs to hear.

More From The Girlfriends
Do you want to be known as an encourager?  The Bible tells us how.  The answer is right under our noses - words.  To learn more about how to use words wisely you'll want to read Sharon's book, The Power of a Woman's Words. Learn about the power you possess, the people you impact, and the potential to change!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 8, 2010 

Drawing Closer 

Mary Nash

We hope you are enjoying the Girlfriends in God daily devotions. We (Mary, Sharon, and Gwen) would like to introduce you to some of the women who have blessed our lives as girlfriends. 

From time-to-time, the Friday devotions will be written by one of our friends in ministry. We call them our "Friday Friends."  So grab your Bible and a fresh cup of coffee and drink in the words from our "Friday Friend," Mary Nash.

Today' Truth
Matthew 11:28 (NIV) "Come unto Me and I will give you rest."

Friend To Friend
In biblical times, if a lamb wandered away from the flock, the shepherd searched for that lamb until he found it. The shepherd sometimes broke one of the lamb's legs and then carried the wounded lamb on his shoulders until the leg was healed. The lamb developed such a close relationship with the shepherd, that when its leg was healed, the lamb would never again wander away from the one who had rescued it and cared for it so tenderly.

The loss of a loved one is always so difficult to survive. When the doctors diagnosed my dear husband with pancreatic cancer, we both knew we were facing some very difficult days. Pancreatic cancer is a deadly disease and usually has a very poor prognosis. Although I have lived through many unhappy situations and experienced great disappointment in my life, losing my husband was absolutely the worst. I just didn't know how I was going to get through this one. But somehow, I have survived the loss of my husband. 

Some days, the only good thought I have is that I will be with him again in Heaven. I miss him every day and the only way I can find hope is to claim the promise of the peace and rest promised by the Savior. I have drawn closest to the Savior when I am hurting the most. He is really the only one who can sooth my pain. There may not be much understanding on my part, but there is a longing to draw so close to the Savior that I will totally rely on His love and His promises. He has never failed me.

The Scripture, "Come unto me and I will give you rest," has kept me going so many times when my emotions wanted to just give in completely to despair and depression. I try to visualize myself being carried in the arms of Jesus. He is always there, urging me on, whispering in my ear to never give up, pulling me as close to Him as I am willing to come, all the time saying, "Come closer, my child; depend on Me completely, and I will see you through this, no matter what happens."

God has put some special people in my path, people who lift me up and encourage me with their love and prayers. I have come to believe that our steps are truly ordered - each and every one. My job is to seek out and walk in the steps He has planned for me - even when those steps are filled with pain and confusion.

Cancer certainly gets our attention, but in all the emotional chaos of wondering what will happen also comes the sure knowledge that I am being carried in strong loving arms that will never let me go. I asked God "why" many times and while I know He understands my frailty as a servant, He keeps giving me the same answer, "Hang on, I am with you. We can do this together."

If you sometimes feel like one of those lambs with a broken leg, just know that if you ask, the Savior will pick you up, hold you tightly, and carry you until you can stand again. Jesus Christ, the Good Shepherd, will forever call us to come closer, never pushing us away.

Even when life comes at us like a hurricane, we know we have the hope of Jesus Christ. We know why we are here on this earth - to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him - so that we can spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Cling to the hope that can only be found in knowing God. Share that same hope with those who are hurting, broken and looking for a Savior.

Let's Pray
Dear Father, even in the depths of my sadness and depression, just keep reminding me how much you love me and are willing to walk each step with me, always being there, sharing every tear and fear along the way. Help me to always share my innermost feelings with you and to draw closer to you each day.

In Jesus' Name

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Are you currently in a time when you need to draw closer to the Savior?
What do you have hiding in your heart that you need to share with Him today?
How can you let the Shepherd pick you up and hold you?

More From The Girlfriends
Storms are a reality of life. We will all face difficult circumstances and be tempted to lose hope. Check out Mary Southerland's book, Hope in the Midst of Depression and her DVD, Strength for the Storm.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 11, 2010

I want to love you - my way! 

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
John 13:35 (NIV) "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

Friend To Friend
Grandchildren often remind me how to find joy in the simple things of life. Not long ago, I took Lelia and Jaydan, our two-year-old twin grandchildren, on a little shopping trip. When Mimi comes for a visit, there is always a shopping trip on the agenda. Lelia and Jaydan piled into the car and we headed to the store. I think I was more excited than they were. That's how grandmothers are.

Once we were inside the store, we grabbed a shopping cart and off we went in search of treasures. In other words, we needed toys! As we headed to the toy section of the store, we passed the pharmacy - which reminded me that I needed to pick up some vitamins. The twins were very patient as I searched the pharmacy shelves and found what I needed. I tossed the box of vitamins in the cart and said, "Let's go! The toys are just ahead!"   

When we reached the first aisle of the toy section, I reminded Lelia and Jaydan that they could each pick one very special toy for Mimi to buy. Jaydan headed straight for the "crucks" and cars. No surprise there! But Lelia didn't seem very interested in looking at much of anything. Now that was surprising!

As I tried to figure out what the problem could possibly be, I spotted something pink out of the corner of my eye. A closer look revealed a small pink box of Hello Kitty Band-Aids clutched tightly in Lelia's little hands. Judging from the slightly crumpled box, I knew she had been holding her treasure for some time. The vitamin aisle! Evidently, Lelia had done a little looking on her own while I was searching for my vitamins; and had come up with a box of Band-Aids. But Mimi did not travel all the way from Kansas to North Carolina to buy her precious little granddaughter a paltry box of Band-Aids!

When I tried to persuade Lelia to pick something else - something a little more exciting than Band-Aids - she politely refused. Lelia was happy but Mimi was not. I wanted to buy her a "real" toy, but what Lelia really wanted was a box of Hello Kitty Band-Aids.

We often treat irritating people the same way. Have you noticed that sandpaper people are usually needy people? I have discovered that irritating behavior is often nothing more than a plea for help in disguise. True love - God's love - looks beyond abrasive behavior to see and meet the real needs of a difficult person.

Meeting a need in the life of a sandpaper person can be messy and usually demands a sacrifice of some kind on our part. It is easier to simply placate or avoid difficult people than it is to love them the way they need to be loved. It makes our life easier. For example, when we see that sandpaper person coming, we turn around and head in the opposite direction. When the called ID indentifies our sandpaper person as the caller, we do not answer. Hurried conversations replace a listening heart. We offer tolerance instead of acceptance. And God is not pleased. He is committed to our character - not our comfort.

God wants us to love each other in the same way that He loves - unconditionally. In fact, God wants us to love in such a way that the people around us will know we are fully devoted followers of Christ. I wonder what our relationships would look like if we did. Who knows? That sandpaper person may very well turn into a velvet person.

Let's Pray
Father, Thank You for looking beyond my faults and for loving me unconditionally. Forgive me when I fail to love others in the same way. Give me eyes to see the needs in my sandpaper person's life and show me how to meet those needs in a way that pleases You. I pray that others will see Your love working in and through my life.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Nowhere in the Bible will you find the words, "When you feel like it, love others." Nope! It is not in there. The Bible tells us to practice love. Love is a choice - not an emotion or feeling. Loving sandpaper people usually requires a deliberate choice on our part. I challenge you to step out in faith today and choose to love that difficult person in your life. Read the following commitment and fill in the blanks with the name of your sandpaper person. Be sure to sign and date your commitment.

Father, I choose to love _____________________ as a step of obedience to You. 

I will show Your love to _____________________ by sending her a note of encouragement. I will pray for _____________________, remembering that she is made in Your image and that You love her just as much as You love me.

Sign____________________________ Date _____________________________


More From The Girlfriends
I know it is hard to love someone who is constantly on your nerves. In fact, it is impossible without the power of God in your life. Sharon, Gwen and I understand how hard it is to love difficult people, so we hold each other accountable. I encourage you to recruit a girlfriend who is willing to do the same for you. 

Need help understanding the Bible? Check out Mary's online Bible study, Light for the Journey, and join women across the world in learning how to apply God's truths to your daily life in her current study, When an Ordinary Woman Meets an Extraordinary God.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 12, 2010 

Bracing Up Toppled Friends 

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.  But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted" (Galatians 6:1 TNIV).

Friend To Friend
It was just a bit of burlap peaking out from underneath the soil, but to our Golden Retriever, Ginger, it was a challenge that needed to be pursued.

Shortly after we had planted a maple tree in our backyard, we went on vacation.  It was the first time we had left Ginger home alone, and a neighbor fed and watched out for her while we were away.  On the second day of our trip, I called Cathy to see how Ginger was fairing.

"Well, Ginger's fine," Cathy reported.  "But you know that tree you planted last week?  She dug it up!"

"She did what!" I exclaimed. 

"She dug it up," Cathy confirmed.  "The tree is lying in the yard on its side."

When we got home, we assessed the situation.  It seemed that when we planted the tree, we left a small piece of the burlap around the root ball exposed.  Ginger spied that remnant peaking out of the ground and wanted it...bad.  A few times we had caught her pawing at the burlap, reprimanded her with a stern "no," and she had walked away.  I imagine when she saw us pull out of the driveway with a packed car; she crept over to the forbidden tree and began to dig.  I imagine she dug and dug for hours with all her puppy might - flinging dirt in every direction.  I've got to get to the bottom of this, she might have thought.  This must be exposed!

Finally, she accomplished her mission and the burlap was totally uncovered!  Exposed!  Of course she gave no thought to the tree she toppled in the mean time.  It was never about the tree.

As I stared at the poor little maple lying helplessly in the yard in the hot, drying sun, I thought about how many friends I've observed in the same state.  I thought about friends I have known, and even my self for that matter, that have been toppled for much the same reason.  Perhaps someone has a little flaw that comes to the surface in plain view.  Then someone else comes along and decides that the flaw is a nuisance and must be exposed at all cost.  Someone starts digging and digging - flinging dirt in every direction, with no thought to what all the digging is doing to the friend.  The rough canvas may be unearthed, but unfortunately the friend lies toppled in the process.

Lifeless, wounded, exposed - and for what purpose?  To satisfy someone's dogged determination to uncover a rough edge?

There are times in any friendship when confrontation is necessary.  But we must always make sure that the confrontation is wrapped in prayer and tied with the lovely bow of love.  If we take any joy whatsoever in the process, we must stop and check our motives and attitude.

Steve and I gently removed what was left of the burlap sack around the root system, carefully sat the maple back up into her prepared soil, and lovingly patted the dirt back around her parched roots.  Then, because of her weakened state, we braced her up with ropes tied to three stakes in the ground.  I watered the weary maple daily, not knowing if she would recover from the trauma.  In the end, the tree not only survived, it thrived.

Oh, that we would do the same for our toppled friends.  When we see a friend who has been wounded by words, we can slowly stand her back up, lovingly reestablish her roots in the good soil of God's Word, gently brace her up with kindness, and water her daily with prayer.  Who knows, you may even help her not only survive, but thrive.

Thankfully, Ginger left the tree alone after that episode.  After all, she never cared about the tree in the first place.

Let's Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, I'll admit that sometimes I act like Ginger and dig for the dirt rather than caring for the person.  Help love always to be my ultimate goal, and if I ever have one bit of pleasure in correcting someone, I pray that I will keep my mouth shut and worry about the dirt in my own life that needs to be cleaned up. 

In Jesus' Name,

Amen

Now It's Your Turn
Have you ever been "toppled" by someone trying to correct you or expose a mistake you've made?  How did you feel?

Have you ever caught yourself experiencing pleasure in correcting someone or pointing out someone's faults?  How do you think God feels about that type of correction?

Read this verse and ponder it today.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?"  (Luke 6:41 NIV)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on today's devotion?  Been toppled?  Been braced up?  Let's chat.  Click on www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes.

More From The Girlfriends
I bet as you read today's devotion, you remembered a time when you lay toppled and exposed by the comments of another person.  Just remembering how we felt ought to be enough to keep us from doing it to someone else.  But it takes practice to hold our tongues and concentrate on our own specks...or should I say logs!  If you would like to learn more about how to use your words to build up your friends rather than topple them emotionally, see The Power of a Woman's Words.  It also has a companion Bible study guide for group or individual study.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 13, 2010 

I Can Sleep When the Wind Blows 

Part 1 

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Psalm 23:1 (NIV) "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want."

Friend To Friend
Stress is a familiar and faithful companion. It doesn't matter where life takes us, we will encounter stress. Unless we learn to manage and deal with that stress - God's way - we will find ourselves trapped, an easy target for the enemy.

A friend recently told me the story of a farmer who, as the owner of a large piece of land along the Atlantic seacoast, constantly advertised for hired hands. Most people were reluctant to work on farms along the Atlantic because of terrible storms known to plague the area. As the farmer interviewed applicants for the job, he received a steady stream of refusals. Finally, a short, thin middle-aged man applied for the job. "Are you a good farm hand?" the farmer asked. "Well, I can sleep when the wind blows," answered the little man.  Although puzzled by this answer, the desperate farmer hired him.

The slight man worked hard, to the delight of the farmer. Then one night, the howling wind blew in from offshore, signaling the approach of a monstrous storm. Jumping out of bed, the farmer grabbed a lantern and rushed to the hired hand's sleeping quarters. "Get up! A storm is coming!" he yelled.  The man rolled over in bed and firmly responded, "No sir. I told you, I can sleep when the wind blows." Furious, the farmer was tempted to fire him on the spot. Instead, he hurried outside to prepare for the storm only to discover that all of the haystacks had been covered with tarps. The cows were in the barn, the chickens were in their coops, the doors were barred and the shutters were tightly secured. Nothing could blow away. The farmer then understood what his hired hand had meant. He, too, returned to his bed to "sleep while the wind blew".

Stress management is a spiritual discipline that begins with diligent preparation in every area of life - mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. We must be ready to deal with stress before we have to deal with stress.

Know whose you are. I grew up in a Christian home, attending church every time the doors were open.  I sang all of the right songs, spoke all of the right words and did all of the right things in front of all the right people. I fervently prayed that my works would validate my faith and desperately hoped that by following the rules, I would please the Ruler. It wasn't until middle school that the authentic life of a dynamic youth pastor made me hunger and thirst for something more. I wanted to know God intimately. During an evening church service, I sat in my usual spot, clutching the back of the pew in front of me while wrestling with God over the condition of my soul and my eternal security. I argued that I knew all about God - and then the deeper truth of that argument hit me. Yes, I knew about Him but I didn't know Him. That night we met. While the course of my life was changed forever, I quickly discovered that stress was not going to disappear from my life.

I still have to face and deal with stressful circumstances every day. The difference is that I don't have to face and deal with those tough situations alone. God is with me. His power strengthens me and His love surrounds me, saturating even the most desperate circumstances with hope. Knowing that we belong to God is the very foundation for a life of peace and the first step in dealing with stress. Join me tomorrow as we examine four more ways to deal with stress. 

Let's Pray
Father, I praise You for being my Peace in the midst of a stressful day. I can't always see Your hand at work or even understand Your process. But I do know that I can fully trust Your heart of love for me, Lord. When the storms of life come and I am tempted to worry, help me to trust You instead. When it seems like my life is spinning out of control, give me Your strength to stop and remember that You are God and that heaven is not in a panic! Right now, I choose against the tyranny of stress in my life and I choose to trust You instead. Thank You for Your faithfulness to me.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Go back to the time when you first met God and surrendered your life to Him.

What changes has that decision made in your life?

How did you feel when you first realized that you belong to God?

What did you do?

Who did you tell?

Now think about your relationship with God today and compare your circumstances, attitudes and habits with those first days of knowing Him.

Read and memorize Jeremiah 29:11. Celebrate God's perfect and unique plan for your life. And when stress shows up in your life today, remember whose you are.

More From The Girlfriends
Whew! Just talking about stress wears me out. It's so daily! At one point in my life, stress literally made me sick. And I know your life is just like mine, friend.  But God...don't you just love those words?  But God can give you peace and take away the anxiety of stress-filled circumstances.  My book Escaping the Stress Trap is my journey from a stress managed life to a life where, through God's power, I am learning to manage stress.  Check it out! And walk in peace today!

I would love to hear what God does through you this week because you were willing to step out in obedience. Email me at: mailto:mary@marysoutherland.com.

Need help? Check out Mary's FREE MPs or visit her online store for great deals on books, CDs,

E-Bible Studies and her DVD, Strength for the Storm.

Join women from across the world in Mary's Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. Don't miss the new study that begins today: When an Ordinary Woman Meets an Extraordinary God. Enroll now and have access to all of the 2010 studies. Check it out!

Need a friend? Connect with me on Facebook or through email. Let's talk!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 14, 2010 

I Can Sleep When the Wind Blows 

Part 2 

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Psalm 23:1 (NIV) "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want."

Friend To Friend
Storms are a reality of life. That's the bad news. The good news is that God is bigger than any storm we will ever face. When our daughter, Danna, was a toddler, she and her daddy had a favorite game. Dan would place her in some high spot then stand back, hold up his arms and say, "Jump to Daddy!" I hated that game but Danna loved it. She would always jump into his arms, laughing and giggling. One day, however, Dan picked a spot that seemed to be just a little too high for Danna's taste. She did what I do when I get scared. She closed her eyes. When her dad said, "Jump!" she said, "I can't! I can't see you, Daddy!" Dan said, "It doesn't matter, baby. I can see you!" With a smile on her scrunched up face my daughter bailed off into the strong arms of her Father, secure in the knowledge that he would catch her just as he always had. Talk about a major stress buster! Knowing that we belong to God is the foundation for a life of peace. Today, let's look at four more ways to deal with stress.

Recognize your source.
I believe that a large part of stress is the result of misplaced expectations, requiring the people and circumstances in our lives to meet needs that only God can meet. Most people who know me well would tell you that I'm a very strong woman. It took a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown for me to realize I was only as strong as my human personality and abilities would allow me to be.  I was, in short, looking in all the wrong places for the deepest needs of my heart to be met. When all was stripped away by a two-year battle with clinical depression, I was left with nothing but broken dreams and unanswered questions. There, in that dark pit, surrounded by the meager remains of a shattered life, I discovered that God is enough. "The Lord is my Shepherd.  I shall not want." Just as the shepherd meets every need of his sheep, God meets our every need. Just as the sheep totally depend upon their shepherd's care, we must depend totally upon God. He is our Source and in light of that reality, stress flees, leaving only peace.

Learn to rest.
I am terrible at this "rest" thing, forever walking the thin line between being productive and my life spiraling out of control. I have repeatedly tried to defy my God-given need for rest, thinking that I'm somehow "above" both the occurrence and consequences of exhaustion. Stress shouts, "Get busy! There's so much to do!" Stress applauds and dances with delight as I keep on "doing" instead of "being." I've discovered that when I'm tired, it's much harder to handle stress. Just as ninety percent of income goes farther when we tithe ten percent of it, so does our energy when we tithe it in rest. 

Manage your fears.
It's not God's plan for us to dwell in fear or for fear to rule our lives. He has already set in motion the fall of every giant we will ever face. Our responsibility is to step through our fear, confronting those giants in God's power instead of our own, while counting on the promise that God really is the same yesterday, today and forever. We have nothing to fear, not because we are clever or self-sufficient, but because we are his sheep. We can learn to manage fear and stress instead of allowing fear and stress to manage us. 

Take the long look.
We must be very careful to choose the right backdrop against which we live. Our backdrop is eternity - not the daily tyranny of urgent demands. Our backdrop is an old rugged cross - not the condemnation of our own heart or the judgments of others. Our backdrop is an empty tomb - not the stress filled prison of despair. When stress threatens and it seems like you can't go on, rest in God's truth. Take the long look at life, knowing that He will provide your every need and fill your heart with peace. 

Stress is tenacious in its quest to derail and destroy us. Marriages and homes teeter on the brink of disaster because we're too busy. Personal and family needs are consigned to the bottom of our priority list. Distractions are rampant because our lives are not rightly focused - and the enemy laughs in the shadows, applauding our foolishness. Stop. Get off of the merry-go-round. Come into God's presence and rest there until stress has gone and peace has come.

Let's Pray
Father, I refuse to surrender my peace to the stress of life. Help me learn how to truly rest in You, knowing that You will never leave me or forsake me. Today, I submit my will to Your plan for my life. You are my Shepherd and my God. I put my trust in You and praise You for Your perfect provision in my life.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Read Psalm 23 every day for one week. Beside each phrase below, write you own thoughts about how God is at work in your life:

   He makes me to lie down in green pastures___________________________.

   He leads me beside the still waters__________________________________.

   He restores my soul _____________________________________________.

   Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me_____________________________.

   He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake ___________.

   Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life _________.


More From The Girlfriends
Dealing with stress is an ongoing battle. Just about the time I think I have it all figured out, some storm blows into my life and instead of trusting God to calm the waves, I panic and give in to doubt and fear. I am amazed at the grace of God that simply reaches through each storm to calm my heart and guide me back into His peace.

How about you? What has God taught you about living life in such a way that you can sleep when the wind blows? Email me at: mailto:mary@marysoutherland.com.

Need help? Check out Mary's FREE MPs or visit her online store for great deals on books, CDs, E-Bible Studies and her DVD, Strength for the Storm.

Join women from across the world in Mary's Online Bible Study, Light for the Journey. Don't miss the new study that begins today: When an Ordinary Woman Meets an Extraordinary God. Enroll now and have access to all of the 2010 studies. Check it out!

Need a friend? Connect with me on Facebook or through email. Let's talk!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 15, 2010 

Becoming Your Child's Chief Cheerleader 

Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth
"Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him" (Psalm 127:3 TNIV).

Friend To Friend
Studies show that in the average home, ten negative comments are made for every positive one. Also, it takes four positive comments to counteract one negative comment. With that ratio, it's easy to understand why so many children are discouraged and suffer from a poor self-image these days.

We can't always see the destructive potential of our words, but let's imagine the following scenario. Your child gets up in the morning and dresses in a shingled outfit much like the Jolly Green Giant on the vegetable commercials. The only difference is the outfit is made of Post-It notes. Every time you question his worth, criticize, make him feel guilty, incapable, insufficient, or unattractive, the hurtful words are scribbled across a slip of yellow paper and it flutters to the ground. Perhaps when you see the paper begin to fall, you realize the effect of your hurtful words and try to stick the paper back on with a positive word. However, it won't stick. The child goes off to school and hears more discouraging words and more shingles fall to the ground. Finally, at the end of the day, the child comes home, exposed, naked and insecure - and rightly so.

As a mom, we can cover our kids with positive words so that when the negative ones cause a post-it note to fall, they won't even know it's missing. But it takes a lot of work.

Paul wrote to the Colossians: "Fathers, do not provoke or irritate or fret your children - do not be hard on them or harass them; lest they become discouraged and sullen and morose and feel inferior and frustrated; do no break their spirit" (Colossians 3:21AMP).  Can I add something to Paul's exhortation? Mothers, don't you do it either.

It is a terrible thing to be a part of a family when the only things that are noticed are mistakes. The pain from constant criticism and correction can become a chronic source of insecurity long after the child has become an adult. It is our job, our "homework," to instruct our children, but when we are continually pointing out their faults and failures, they tend to simply stop trying.

We must always remember that children are children and they will act like children.  Children are not miniature adults. I remember when my husband was in dental school at the ripe old age of twenty-three. It was his first time treating a four-year-old little girl, and was unprepared for the crocodile tears that escaped her eyes.

"You'll be fine," Steve assured her. "You be a big girl now."

Then she looked up at him with big blue eyes that melted his heart. "But I'm not a big girl," she said. "I'm just a little girl."

That's what we must always remember. No matter how frustrated or angry we become...kids are kids and they will act like kids.

As you go through your day, look for the chance to catch your children doing something right, and shower them with praise. And if you don't have children or if your children have already left the nest, try catching a friend, your husband, or a co-worker in the act of doing something praise-worthy and shower them with praise!

Let's Pray
Dear Heavenly Father, Thank You for children. I pray that I will use my words to encourage a child today - whether it is my child or someone else's child. Most of all, thank You for encouraging me, Your child, by the many ways You show me You love me each day. 

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Here's a partial list of some words kids long to hear, taken from my book The Power of a Woman's Words. Take a look at the list and speak at least three of these affirmations to a child today!

Words Your Kids Long to Hear

·         Great job!

·         I'm glad you're my sondaughter.

·         I love spending time with you.

·         I'll never forget the day you were born. You were such an incredible gift from God...and you still are.

·         I like you!

·         I love the way you fixed your hair!

·         That shirt looks great on you!

·         You played that song beautifully!

·         You are a great friend!

·         You'll make a wonderful wifehusband some day!

·         Thanks for cleaning your room. You did a great job.

Have some more cheers? How about sharing them with your GiG's today? Click on www.facebook.com/sharonjaynes and share some cheers we should know.

More From The Girlfriends
We can all remember someone who encouraged us as a child.  Wouldn't it be wonderful to be remembered as an encourager? If you'd like to learn more about using your words to encourage a child to accomplish his or her dreams, see The Power of a Woman's Words or Being a Great Mom-Raising Great Kids. They are both packed with great ideas for becoming your child's chief cheerleader!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

October 18, 2010 

Under the Influence of Love 

Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Matthew 5:22-24 (NIV) "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

Friend To Friend
Dan and I once lived in a neighborhood of predominantly retired people who became surrogate grandparents, aunts and uncles for our two children since both of our families lived several states away. The one exception was the older couple that lived behind us. They complained about almost everything we did. Our kids were too loud. Our dog barked too much. Our garbage can was six inches over their property line. It was not unusual to find cryptic notes and warnings taped to our front door or wedged under the windshield wipers of our car. I not only considered them to be sandpaper people, I thought of them as a nuisance. In dealing with these neighbors, our children taught me an important lesson about the power of identifying and meeting a need in the life of a sandpaper person.   

The Southerlands have many family Christmas traditions. When our two children, Jered and Danna, were young, we made Christmas cards for special friends and family members. Since we lived in South Florida, cold weather rarely ushered in the holiday season and I could not get past the idea that when Christmas rolled around, the grass was supposed to be brown - not bright green, and the climate was supposed to be cold - not hot and humid. Our solution was to turn the air conditioner on and lower the temperature until the house was cold enough to turn on the gas fireplace. We listened to Christmas music while baking sugar cookies and making our special Christmas cards. In the midst of one of those Hallmark moments, Jered, looked up at me and said, "Mom, are we going to make them a Christmas card?" I had an idea who them was but desperately hoped I was wrong. I wasn't. "You know, Mom, the Smiths," Jered explained.   

Being the spiritual giant that I am, I responded, "Son, why would you want to make them a Christmas card? They are mean!" How is that for loving your neighbor? But the Smiths had complained about something we were doing wrong almost every day that week, and I had just about reached the end of any patience I had ever had with them. "But Mom, I never see any kids at their house. Nobody ever comes to visit them and they don't even have a dog," Jered insisted. We made Christmas cards for the Smiths.

When the kids wanted to deliver those cards, I suggested that they wait until their dad came home so he could get in on the fun. I know. I am evil. Nope! Those cards had to be delivered immediately. I was clearly outnumbered. As we headed out the door, Danna yelled, "Wait! I forgot the books!" Okay. I was clueless. Why in the world would we need books? With a sigh of exasperation, Danna said, "Because they might want to read to us, Mom!" She didn't say it, but I could hear the silent "duh."

Books and cards in hand, we once again headed out the door when Jered suggested, "Mom, we should take them some of the cookies we made." Now that was asking too much! My sugar cookies are a "must" for every special holiday and considered by many to be "scrumptious." And now my children wanted to waste some of those precious cookies on people who would probably toss them in the garbage. 

However, the silent plea of our son's blue eyes persuaded me to add a Christmas tin of my delicious sugar cookies to our quickly growing stack of nice things to take to people who were definitely not nice. With every step, I prayed that the Smiths would not be home. I rang the doorbell and after a whole thirty seconds, turned to Jered and Danna and said, "Too bad! They are not home. We can come back later." At that precise moment, Mr. Smith opened the door and barked, "What do you people want?" I could see the headline, "Pastor's Wife Arrested in Neighborhood Disturbance." It was one thing to be mean to me, but when someone is mean to my kids - well, let's just say it isn't pretty.

As I counted to ten for the second time, Jered thrust the Christmas cards into the man's hands and said, "We made you something and it's free!" No way! It was not possible! I thought I saw the beginning of a smile on Mr. Smith's face. Danna chose that particular moment to hand Mr. Smith the cookies. "And these are for your mother," she said, her big, brown eyes sparkling with excitement. Great! With six words, my daughter had just aged Mrs. Smith by twenty years. 

And then it happened. Mr. Smith smiled, stepped back into the house and called, "Mother, we have company." For two hours, the Smiths read books, ate sugar cookies and raved about the beautiful cards the kids had made. When we finally left, Mr. Smith said, "Such lovely children. You should have more!" Mrs. Smith hugged the kids and asked, "Why didn't you bring the dog?" I was speechless. And I was ashamed. My heart cried out to God, "Lord, I am so sorry for being so blind to the needs of these people. Please forgive me." But that is not the end of the story.

The Smiths became friends and great neighbors. Weeks later, Mr. Smith had a heart attack and was hospitalized for several days. Dan was able to visit him and share Christ with a man who simply needed someone to recognize the deepest need of his life - and do something about it. Our children led the way and taught me a powerful lesson about the depth and height of God's stubborn love and what can happen when we are under the influence of that love.

Let's Pray
Father, please forgive me for refusing to love the sandpaper people in my life. Right now, I choose to let Your love flow through me as I deal with difficult people. Let me see them through Your eyes. Show me how I can meet a need in their lives and then give me the wisdom and strength to meet that need.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Ask God to let you see one need in the life of your sandpaper person that you can meet.

Pray for that person and then make a specific plan for meeting that need.

Read and memorize 5:22-24. How does this passage of Scripture apply to your difficult relationships?

More From The Girlfriends
We all need help in dealing with difficult people. Every relationship comes to our life with God's permission and has a purpose that will help us grow and mature as a follower of Christ. Right now, thank God for what He is doing in your life through your sandpaper person.

Need help? Mary's book, Sandpaper People, offers practical steps you can take that will help you deal with difficult people. This book can revolutionize your relationships.

Check out Mary's FREE MPs or visit her online store for great deals on books, CDs,

E-Bible Studies and her DVD, Strength for the Storm.

Join women from across the world in Mary's Online Bible Study, When an Ordinary Woman Meets an Extraordinary God. If you enroll now, you will also have access to all of the 2010 studies. Check it out!

Need a friend? Connect with me on Facebook or through email. How are you dealing with the sandpaper people in your life? Someone needs to hear your story! Let's talk!

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com