Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

August 19, 2014
Don't Quit!
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up (Galatians 6:9).

Friend to Friend

The story is told of a great pianist who was scheduled to perform for a small country town. Everyone in the town was excited since they rarely had the opportunity to hear a famous musician. A young mother was especially excited. Her son had been taking piano lessons and showed great promise ...but he hated to practice. His mother was hoping that if her son saw the great pianist perform, he would be motivated to take his music more seriously.

The night of the concert finally arrived, and it seemed as if everyone in town had come. As the young mother settled her son in his seat, her attention turned to the crowd pouring in. Everyone was dressed in their finest, and a buzz of excitement filled the concert hall. No one noticed the little boy as he slipped out of his seat and made his way down the aisle toward the stage. No one noticed the little boy as he walked onto the stage, climbed up on the piano stool, and began to play "Chopsticks."

The concert hall fell silent as every eye turned toward the stage. People began to yell, "Where is that child's mother? How did he get on stage? Somebody get him down immediately! This is so embarrassing for our town!" The guest artist was standing in the wings, getting ready to make his entrance when he heard the shouts and saw and heard the little boy. Grabbing his jacket, the great pianist ran onto the stage, came up behind the little boy and placed his masterful hands on the keyboard beside the hands of the small child. The little boy was startled but did not move as the man whispered in the boy's ear, "Don't stop. Don't quit. Keep going." As the little boy began to play again, the great pianist began to play as well, composing a beautiful counter melody to "Chopsticks."

I know some of you are ready to give up and quit. Some mountain is standing between you and the dream you thought was sure to become a reality. You think God has lost track of where you are and what you are going through. He hasn't. That is a lie from the pit and smells like smoke. Don't buy it!

I know you don't understand why a loving God would allow so much pain to saturate this broken world and perpetuate such loss and hurt. I don't either. But God's ways are so much higher than my ways, and His thoughts are for my eternal good – not my temporary comfort. I am banking on eternity. I am counting on the character of God and His heart of unconditional, unmerited, and undeserved love.

God's grace, mercy, and forgiveness give me the strength to get out of bed each morning, and His peace is my comfort in the dark, lonely night. Like you, I sometimes ask God why He has allowed a circumstance to exist. I have questioned His favor and allowed fear and worry to make me doubt His plan. And I have to tell you that I can now look back and see so many of the question marks yanked into exclamation points in my life. I am so thankful that He said "no" to so many of the prayers I desperately wanted Him to answer with "yes." He is God. He is able and He is more than enough.

Don't stop! No matter where you are today, know He is with you and that His heart is for you.

Don't quit. He is not angry with you. You are His daughter, the apple of His eye and His cherished child.

Don't give up. Right now, surrender all of your pain to Him. Shed your tears, knowing He will collect them all and one day pour them back into your life as a refreshing rain of restoration and healing.

Keep going. Ask your questions, knowing Heaven is not in a panic and that your God really is who He says He is and will do what He has promised to do. He simply waits for you to trust Him.

Let's Pray

Father, I come to You like a child. My faith is small and my strength almost gone. I am desperate for You. I don't understand what is happening in my life, and I am ready to give up. I want to quit. Please don't let me, Lord. Give me Your strength and hope for today. Help me to keep going, trusting You every step of the way.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read Proverbs 3:5-6: "Trust in the Lordwith all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take" (NLT).

Record these verses in your journal. Circle each action word and then right out the plan you need to follow to trust God.

What "next step" do you need to take in order to begin again and trust God?

[Judy Harder]

August 20, 2014
When Words Run Wild
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

I put my hand over my mouth(Job 40:4, NIV).

Friend to Friend

When I was young, I loved reading the story of the stately steed, Black Beauty.  In my early teens, I enjoyed visiting my friend Cammie and riding horses on her parents' dairy farm. We often clicked our heels and raced through the fields with reckless abandonment.

A horse is a powerful animal, yet with the tug of the reins or the tap of a heel, he will submit to his master's bidding. On the other hand, a wild stallion that has not been brought under control of a master is of very little use.

In the Bible we are instructed to have a spirit of gentleness which tempers the words we speak (Galatians 5:23). The Greek word for "gentleness" is prautes, and suggests a wild horse that has been tamed. Unfortunately, in our modern society, the word "gentleness" is often associated with weakness. However, the Greek word means anything but weak.

Picture a muscular steed, proudly holding his head high, poised to move with speed and power, nostrils flaring, but at the same time, under his master's control. It is the picture of a warhorse under the control of its master. That is a true picture of prautes—gentleness.

The same word, prautes, is translated "meek" in the King James Version. When Jesus said He was "meek and lowly in heart" (Matthew 11:29), He was saying He was submitted to God—mightily powerful but under God's control. Only when we submit our tongues to God will we have the ability to use our words for good. Meekness isn't weakness; it's power under control. It is taming and training our tongues to be under the submission and control of the Holy Spirit.

Let me give you an example. Oh, I hate to admit this, but I fear many sisters will relate—the dents in my armor attest to it.

Before I became a Christian, I was very "gifted" with a quick sarcastic wit. Have you ever been in an argument and two hours later thought of a great comeback or slam remark? Not me.  I could think of them on the spot. I was good—so good. Why, I could have opened up a side business feeding disgruntled wives, employees, and friends quick comebacks through earphones during confrontations.

However, after I accepted Christ as my Savior, it didn't take the Holy Spirit long to convict me that my tongue was not glorifying God. Sure, it brought some laughs, but Jesus wasn't smiling.  So I began the arduous task of taming the tongue.

I memorized Job 40:4, "I put my hand over my mouth" and bit my tongue.  It was hard letting all those good sarcastic comments go to waste, but I knew they were only fit for the garbage heap.

That was over thirty years ago. On many occasions, when someone is telling me about a confrontation with a family member or a co-worker, those quick-witted remarks still pop up in my mind like a cue card on the stage. When a store clerk offers a snide remark, I can usually think of one snider. So where's the victory? The victory comes when I choose not to let the words out of my mouth. When I lasso the words before they have a chance to run out of the gate. When I offer blessings rather than cursing. When I put on the humility of Christ and take the comments without the retaliation. That, my friend, is choosing to walk in the Spirit instead of choosing to walk in the flesh.

It can only happen by the power of the Holy Spirit, and it becomes easier with practice.

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, I pray that the fruit of the Spirit will grow in my life today. I pray that the evidence of that fruit in my life will be in the words I speak to others. Help my fruit to be sweet today. Show me where I need to clip off unproductive branches that hinder healthy growth.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read Luke 6:29. How do you think this relates to refusing to retaliate hurtful words with hurtful words?

Read Romans 12:20. How do you think this relates to refusing to retaliate hurtful words for hurtful words?

OK, girlfriend, I was honest with you today. Are you willing to be honest with someone about an area that you need to change?  Accountability is a powerful tool for change.  If there is an area in your life that God has convicted you needs to change, tell a girlfriend and ask her to hold you accountable. Ask her to pray with you about the desired to change and invite her to ask you about your progress. That's what girlfriends in God are for!

As you go through the day, be aware of any snarly comment that comes to mind. Then pat yourself on the back when you don't say it...because you're not going to...right?

If you refrained, even once today, let's celebrate! Click of to my Facebook page and leave a comment that says, "I held my tongue today!"

More from the Girlfriends

You have a powerful force, right under your nose. To learn more about how to use your words wisely and control your tongue, see my nook, The Power of a Woman's Words. One way you can use your words well is to pray for your husband. Come visit us over at The Praying Wives Club and pray for your man.

On September 8, 2014, I'll begin my on-line fall Bible Study on The Power of a Woman's Words. I have the book and Bible study guide specially priced for the months of August and September. Those who sign up will receive access to free video lessons and a free video viewing guide. Click here to view a sample video lesson. This is perfect for church groups, small groups, or individual study. Click here to sign up and learn more. We're going to learn about the power we possess, the people we impact, and the potential to change. Hope to see you there!

[Judy Harder]

August 21, 2014
Whose Voice Do You Hear?
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me (John 10:27, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Dan and I had been married one year when we moved to Fort Worth, Texas, so Dan could attend seminary. I desperately wanted a teaching job, but none was available. Instead I was hired as a secretary in an insurance office. It was definitely not my idea of a dream job, but I had a plan. Every day, on my lunch hour, I call the school district's personnel office to ask, "Do you have a job or me yet?" After several weeks, a frustrated voice finally responded with the words I had been longing to hear. "Mary, will you teach anything anywhere?" she asked. Finally! I jumped at the job offer and made an appointment to visit my new classroom that afternoon. The principal escorted me up a flight of stairs, pointed to a door, and said, "That's your classroom. Good luck!" With a knowing smile, he turned and walked away...quickly.

Stepping into the classroom, I froze at the astonishing sight before me. Some children were jumping on desks while others crawled under tables, all screaming and yelling at the top of their lungs. Paper and food littered the floor. In the corner sat an obviously frazzled substitute teacher, who was desperately trying to gain control of her students...uh, make that my students. The classroom was in total chaos. My first thought was, "What have I gotten myself into?" The next few weeks certainly answered that question.

Each classroom was arranged in learning centers instead of desks. The students moved from center to center as they completed assignments, a plan that naturally invited noise. I learned that because of overcrowding, each teacher had been asked to select two children to form a new classroom...my classroom...and of course, each teacher had chosen his or her two most difficult students.

The first few weeks were a nightmarish battle for control. After losing my voice twice, my sister, Betty, a veteran first grade teacher, gave me some great advice. "The louder you are, the louder the children will be. If you want to get their attention, speak softly so they will have to be quiet in order to hear your voice." I put her advice into action the very next day. As the children entered the classroom, I greeted each one with a silent smile. In my hands was a brightly wrapped box. Curious, they asked, "What is that, Mrs. Southerland?" I merely smiled and said nothing until every student was quietly seated. "I have a new plan," I began. "Sometime during the day, I will call your name once. If you hear my voice, you may choose one prize from our new prize box. If you don't hear my voice, you will miss the opportunity to select a prize and I will call another student's name." It worked like a charm! In a matter of days, my students learned to listen for my voice above all others.

Stress comes when we allow the many voices in life to drown out the only voice that really matters, the voice of God. We can't obey every voice we hear. If we try, we will end up in total failure, carrying a heavy load we were never created to carry. Obedience to God is not a heavy load because we don't have to carry it alone. God's strength and power bear the burden of our obedience to Him. The more time we spend in God's Word and in prayer, the easier it will be to recognize His voice.

Let's Pray

Father, I come to You today, wanting and needing to hear Your voice. I am drowning in the expectations of others and am so confused about the next step I need to take. Please give me Your direction and the strength to follow Your plan for my life.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read John 10:4 (NLT) "After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they recognize his voice." Notice that the shepherd walks ahead of his sheep, gently calling them to follow. What change do you need to make in your life so that you can look for God's hand at work and listen for His voice alone?

By faith, accept the truth that God is always at work in your life and thank Him for His steadfast provision. Look back over the last few days, weeks and months of your life. Now praise Him for the things He has done. Identify the "voices" that you tend to listen to instead of listening for the voice of God.

[Judy Harder]

August 28, 2014
Confrontation vs. Combat
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6)

Friend to Friend

Dan and I just celebrated 38 years of marriage. And every single day has been filled with peace, marital bliss, peace ... and I need to stop right there before a bolt of lightning strikes me dead! Dan and I have a great marriage – most of the time. Honestly, there have been days when I have thought about getting in the car and driving away. I am sure there have been more days when Dan has thought the same thing. We have weathered some severe storms in our marriage, and it is only by the grace of God that we still love and respect each other after 38 years. We are best friends – flawed and frail humans who say and do stupid, hurtful things. But we work hard at our marriage and let me tell you one thing – a good marriage requires hard work. We are committed to each other and to making the rest of our marriage the best part of our marriage. It didn't start off that way.

Before Dan and I were married, I noticed several rough edges that needed to be sanded away and felt like I was just the one who could do it. After all, that's what wives are for, right?

I decided to lay low for a few months, lulling Dan into a false sense of security and giving him a chance to make the changes on his own before I stepped in with my well-thought-out plan for his life. The only problem was that my plan did not line up with his plan. Furthermore, he seemed oblivious to the character flaws that were blatantly obvious to me.

After a few months of marital bliss during which I was fine-tuning my "Fix Dan Plan," a seed of discontent took root and began to grow in my heart and in our marriage.

The strength I had once so admired in Dan now looked a whole lot like stubbornness.

Dan's ability to take a complicated issue, dissect it, and boil it down to a three-step-plan now seemed patronizing and at times - meddlesome.

What I had once embraced as his devotion to me now seemed like his need to be in control of me. 

I could go on – but you get the picture.

It was obviously time for the execution of my sure-to-succeed plan of transforming my husband into the man that God and I thought he should be. Looking back, my arrogance and ignorance are laughable, but at the time, they were just plain wrong and yielded painful and disastrous results.

I will never forget the afternoon Dan gently confronted me in love and with amazing patience. I don't remember much of the conversation, but I do remember the words that broke my heart and saved our marriage, "Honey, I'm not sure what is going on between us. But I do know that I want to love you like you need to be loved."

Boom!

And there you have the recipe for a successful marriage – confrontation wrapped in love for the purpose of restoration. It is also the formula for cultivating peace and unity in every relationship.

Healthy confrontation is especially important when dealing with those difficult people who rub you the wrong way – the Sandpaper People in in your life.

Sandpaper people love a good fight and often mistake combat for confrontation. The two are not the same thing. Combat slowly corrodes and splinters while confrontation is an art that, when done correctly, improves and strengthens relationships.

To confront someone is to meet them head-on in the quest for compromise. Our heart motive must be love and restoration – not getting even and winning. Confrontation is an emotional tackle for the purpose of resolving conflict while promoting peace. Just as God separates us from our sin, He calls us to do the same with sandpaper people.

Most people I know hate confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. That is not all bad. In fact, if you love confrontation and drama, you are probably confronting for the wrong reason. On the other hand, if you refuse to confront, you are giving the impression that you are content with the status quo.

Silence is agreement.

Confrontation is a spiritual surgery that tends to be painful. But without it, the cancer of contention and discord will remain unfettered, free to grow and spread its deadly relationship poison. Confrontation is a gift we bring to every healthy relationship as well as the unhealthy relationships with which we struggle.

As fully devoted followers of Christ, it is our responsibility to bring confrontation into the picture when dealing with sandpaper people. There is a right way and a wrong way to confront. Confrontation is not combat. The success of any confrontation depends upon understanding the difference between the two.

Let's Pray

Father, please teach me how to nurture the relationships in my life through healthy confrontation. I want every relationship to honor and please You. Teach me how to love like You love. Help me learn how to confront with a pure heart and the right motives.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read and memorize Proverbs 27:6 that says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6). What does this verse mean to you in the context of healthy confrontation?

[Judy Harder]

August 29, 2014
A Soul Poured Out
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

I am a woman who is deeply troubled...I was pouring out my soul to the LORD (1 Samuel 1:15, NIV).

Friend to Friend

The Old Testament book of Samuel introduces us to Hannah: a godly woman who had some serious problems. Her problems weren't brief and they weren't simple. They were year after year problems. Challenges that made her feel empty and frustrated. Have you got a few of those in your life? Sure you do. We all do. Each of us goes through trials and face pain.           

Hannah experienced infertility and she also had a disturbing rival-wife problem that was miserably complicated. Yes, cringe with me, I said rival-wife. She was one of two wives to her husband...a cultural norm at the time...but terribly difficult no matter how you slice it. (Read 1 Samuel 1-2 for the full story of Hannah.) Refreshingly enough, in her pain Hannah didn't pretend to be okay. She openly admitted, "I am a woman who is deeply troubled" (1 Samuel 1:15).

There are many lessons we can learn from Hannah, but today I'd like us to look at her response to the problems that burdened her heart. Hanna took her problems to God. She cried out to the Lord. "In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the LORD." (1 Samuel 1:10). She took her burdens directly to God.           

Now, I don't know about you, but all too many times I go to the phone before I go to the throne! Who do you cry to when you are deeply troubled? Do you pour out your soul to the LORD, or just pepper Him with vague prayer requests? Hannah didn't just briefly bend a knee here, she poured out her soul! She poured out her sorrow, her disappointments, her frustrations, her depression, her confusion, her anger, her embarrassments, her anguish and her grief.     

She poured out her emptiness!       

And guess what happened? God filled her with the fullness of His peace! Before she spent time with the Lord, Hannah had lost her appetite and was filled with despair. After she poured out her soul to God, the Bible shows us that her appetite returned and her countenance had changed. "Then she went her way and ate something, and her face was no longer downcast" (1 Samuel 1:18, emphasis mine). Hannah was "no longer downcast" because she experienced the One and Only life-changing God in the chamber of His presence.         

God is faithful. He longs to fill our souls with peace regardless of the circumstances we face. Hannah was changed in the presence of the almighty LORD, but realize this: Hannah didn't just do a "drive thru" prayer time with God. She parked there for a while and did some serious business with Him.           

Have you done any serious business with God lately?       

Got any problems?           

Are you dealing with any difficult people?         

Are you faced with any seemingly impossible situations?           

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens" (Psalm 68:19). When you get serious with God...when you get real honest and pour out your soul to Him, He will faithfully replace your empty with the fullness of His peace, whether he removes your burdens or allows them to remain.       

Don't doubt it for a minute, friend.       

Jesus himself said, "All things are possible with God" (Mark 10:27). Let's each take courage and approach God with confidence today, knowing that He loves us and is able to do exceedingly and abundantly beyond what we can ask for or imagine. Spend some time pouring out your soul to Him right now.         

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, I come to You today and humbly ask Your forgiveness for all of the times that I've taken my burdens to others instead of bringing them to You. Help me to turn to You first when problems come my way. Please blanket my heart with your peace and give me strength for today.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.