Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

February 5, 2009
Forgive and Forget
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
"God forgave all our sins.  He canceled the debt, which listed all the rules we failed to follow. He took away that record with its rules and nailed it to the cross."  Colossians 2:13-14 (NCV)

Friend To Friend
There are many uncertainties in marriage, but one thing is sure; we will hurt our husbands and our husbands will hurt us.  How we handle that hurt determines the health of our marriage. 

The story is told of a little boy shopping with his mom at the mall.  He did well for the first few minutes but soon grew tired of following his mother into stores that were of no interest to him at all.  He began to whine and cry, hoping that she would take him home.  When that didn't work, he threw a tantrum, complete with screaming, yelling and a mad dash for the nearest exit. It worked!  Stuffing a crumpled shopping list into her purse, the little boy's mother grabbed his hand and headed for the parking lot.  He was thrilled, anticipating the freedom so close at hand.  But as they drove home in tense silence, the realization that he was in serious trouble began to settle around his anxious heart and mind. In an attempt to placate his mother the little boy asked, "Mom, when you do something wrong it's a sin - right?"  A stiff nod was his answer.  "Mom, my teacher at church said that God loves us even when we do wrong things.  That's right isn't it?"  With an angry glance, his mother answered, "Yes, son.  That is right."  He was onto something here -- she spoke!  "Mom, my teacher says that when we say we are sorry for the wrong things we do and ask God to forgive us, He takes those wrong things and throws them into the sea.  Isn't that neat, Mom?"  Through slightly clenched teeth came the answer, "Yes, son.  God does love us and forgives us for every wrong thing we do."  Several silent moments passed and with a sigh, the little boy surrendered.  "Mom, I told God I am sorry for the way I acted at the mall and asked Him to throw those wrong things into the deepest ocean He could find.  But I have a feeling that when we get home, you're gonna go fishing in that ocean!" 

Part of true forgiveness is releasing the hurt and choosing to let go of the pain!  To truly forgive means that we "quit fishing" in the emotional waters of our past! 

I love super-glue and use it for just about everything!  Not too long ago I was trying to repair the broken saucer of a miniature tea set.  With my trusty super-glue, I went to work, gluing the pieces of the saucer together and holding them in place for the recommended thirty seconds - only to discover that I had glued my finger to the saucer!  Because I frequently use super-glue, I keep an adequate supply of super-glue dissolver. As I worked to free my finger from the saucer, I was reminded that forgiveness extremely important to my marriage.  When I refuse to allow my husband to get past his past, it is as if I am "gluing" him to his mistakes. Tightly clutching the hurt, I refuse to see Dan as more than something he has done. Instead, the forgiveness of God compels us to separate the sinner from his sin.

Notice that God never says we have to feel like forgiving.  Honestly, our feelings are irrelevant and untrustworthy. Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a choice.  Forgiveness is an independent act between us and God, totally separate from the response or reaction of the person we are forgiving.  We are not responsible for their response.  They are!  God is!  But when we hold on to the hurt we are refusing to truly forgive and become a hindrance to God working in their lives. 

It's time to forgive. 

It's time to let go of the hurt!

Let's Pray
Lord, I confess to you that I have been hurt and angry about things that my husband has done in the past.  Right now, I choose to forgive him and lay down my attitude of revenge.  Will you please forgive me and heal the broken parts of our marriage?  I trust you to make our marriage a living illustration of your forgiving love.  Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
List three of the hurts that you have been unwilling to forgive. 

Pray through each one, choosing to forgive and let go of the hurt. 

Thank God for the precious gift of forgiveness that He made possible by His death on the cross.

Answer the following questions:

What past hurts still have power in my life today?   
Why have I held on to those hurts for so long?   
How can I choose to forgive my husband when I really do not want to?   
Would my family and friends describe me as a "forgiving person"?   
What is the first step I need to take in order to forgive?
More From The Girls
Honestly, there are times when I don't want to forgive the person who has hurt me.  I want to see them endure the same pain they have inflicted.  The desire for revenge is not only sin, it is dangerous.  Revenge eats away at your spirit and spills out into every part of your life.  Let that person go!  Release the hurt!  Forgive them and set yourself free!  Check out Mary's CD, G-Harmony (taught by Mary and her husband, Dan) for ways to restore the broken parts of your marriage.  Mary's CD, The Power of Forgiveness will help you learn how to experience and give forgiveness.  Both are also available as a MP3 download. 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 6, 2009
Trading Anger For Love
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
"My dear brothers, take note of this:  Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."  James 1:19-20 NIV.

Friend To Friend
"I'm a terrible mom!"

Do you ever say this to yourself?  I do.  I just did. 

I was working in my office, minding my own business, when my oldest son threw a paper airplane at the back of my head.  Not one to normally welcome an air attack, I gave him the stern "mom voice," and asked him to stop messing around and give me some private time so I could get some work done.   He agreed, and turned to leave.  Surprisingly, he then jumped around and threw it at me again!  Well, let me tell you, my grace-o-meter was reading pretty low at this point!!  I barked like an angry dog.  "What in the world do you think you are doing? I just told you that I needed to be left alone so I can get some work done!  Stop it!"

"There's a message on the plane." He tenderly retorted. "Read it, mom!"

As I unfolded the airplane made of orange construction paper, I saw this message written in pink marker:  "I Love You."

"Nice!" I said to myself. "Loser-mom strikes again."  I had scolded my son and reacted out of frustration with an unkind tone.  All the while, my son was trying to communicate love to me. 

I felt horrible...so, naturally, I started to beat myself up. 

But as shame tried to fill my heart, love kicked shame to the curb.  I called my son in, and apologized for my behavior.  I welcomed this tall, lanky pre-teen to sit on my lap and told him that -- while I'm not fond of airplane attacks, especially while I'm working, I am fond of love attacks.  We held each other and had a very sweet moment.

Here's the lesson I learned: When we trade our anger for love, we are able to experience restoration in relationships.

The Bible tells us that we are to be slow to anger.  It is a lesson that I am still learning.  Now, that doesn't mean that we should never be angry.  Jesus exhibited righteous anger in the Jerusalem temple when he drove out the merchants that were buying and selling there.  Righteous anger is permissible.  We should be angry about sin and injustice.  But when we respond to others in anger, it becomes our sin.

The benefits of trading anger for love are tremendous, but the application can be very challenging.  We can't overcome our natural, sinful tendencies to react, and overreact, in anger alone.  We need God's help. His strength will meet us at our need when we call on Him.  The Holy Spirit will help us to respond in God's strength, not our own.

When I traded anger for love following the construction paper airplane attack, my son and I were greatly rewarded and beautifully restored.

Let's Pray
Holy Father, I need Your help!  I confess my anger right now.  Please forgive me.  Please bring restoration to relationships that have been affected by my anger.  Help me recognize when I over-react or when I respond in anger.  Give me the strength to respond in love, so that You can be glorified through my behavior.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Do you need to trade anger for love?  In what relationships?  How?

Ask God to bring a fresh awareness to your soul each time you react in anger.

Are you in a Bible study?  Knowing God's Word is essential to growing in faith.  Join a local Bible study today, or begin reading a book of the Bible on your own.  Try James!

More From The Girlfriends
I'm a very passionate person.  When my kids were babies, I constantly over-reacted.  And although God has been working in my heart for years on this issue, I humbly confess that anger still comes much too easy to me.  If you struggle with this, you are not alone. 

God delights to transform lives...including your own.  In her book, Broken Into Beautiful, Gwen Smith invites you to experience how the unconditional love of Jesus can change your life and then stand back and watch the wonder of grace at work.  He is willing to eternally forgive and forget and to transform your life into something beautiful. To order Gwen's book, Broken Into Beautiful, please CLICK HERE. 

To listen to Gwen's music, CLICK HERE!

Gwen Smith is a worship artist, songwriter, speaker, and author. For more information, visit her website at: www.gwensmith.net.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 9, 2009
AAA Club of Marriage
Sharon Jaynes

In Celebration of Valentine's Day, Sharon's February devotions will focus on marriage.

Today's Truth
"And let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband-that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly (Ephesians 5:33 Amplified)

Friend To Friend
Are you a member of the Triple A Club of Marriage?  You didn't know there was such a thing?  While there is no official club for broken marriages, I do keep this one club in the back of my mind.  It stands for adoration, admiration, and appreciation.  Did you know that big tough man of yours longs to be admired?  He desires for someone to think he's brave and brilliant, loving and logical, tough and tender, handsome and humorous, masculine and magical. That's the stuff of your man's dreams.   

What does it mean to adore your husband?  It means to love him with all your heart...and let him know about it. George Eliot once said, "I like not only to be loved, but to be told I am loved."   Do you want to see your husband's face light up like a full moon?  Tell him you are amazed that he knows how to ________ or that you are impressed by his _______, then sit back and watch him glow.

When the TV cameras pan the sidelines of a college football game, my heart always melts in a pool of butter when the young men wave and say those precious two words: "Hi Mom."  It's almost like they're saying, "Look at me! Look at me!"  The truth is, men want to be admired by the woman of their dreams.  It starts out with mom, and then continues with the Missus.

Where does your husband go for adoration, admiration and appreciation?  He goes somewhere.  All men do.  Does he go to work in hopes of hearing "job well done"?  Does he go to the ball field in hopes of hearing "way to go man"?  Does he go back home to mother to hear "I'm so proud of you son?"  Does he work late hoping for a few compliments from the gals in the office? Does he feast on compliments from patients or clients? Does he hang out at the gym flexing and building his biceps?  Tell me, where does your man go to be admired?

Dr. Willard Harley says, "When a woman tells a man she thinks he's wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more.  He sees himself as capable of handling new responsibilities and perfecting skills far above those of his present level.  That inspiration helps him prepare for the responsibilities of life.  Admiration not only motivates, it also rewards the husband's existing achievements.  When she tells him that she appreciates him for what he has done, it gives him more satisfaction than he receives from his paycheck.  A woman needs to appreciate her husband for what he already is, not for what he could become, if he lived up to her standards.  For some men -- those with fragile self-images -- admiration also helps them believe in themselves.  Without it, these men seem inherently more defensive about their shortcomings....While criticism causes men to become defensive, admiration energizes and motivates them.  A man expects -- and needs -- his wife to be his most enthusiastic fan.  He draws confidence from her support and can usually achieve far more with her. " [Dr. Willard Harley, His Needs Her Needs (Grand Rapids, Michigan: Fleming H. Revell, 1986) p151.]

You become the mirror in which your husband sees himself.  So if he's looking sort of glum lately, maybe you need to renew your membership into the Triple A Club of marriage and try a little adoration, admiration and appreciation around your home. 

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I pray that I will be my husband's biggest fan.  Please help me to restrain my critical tongue.  Help me to see him as You see Him...a child of the King.  I do so love my husband; help me to make sure that he knows just how much.

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
If you have been withholding admiring words from your husband, it may feel strange to begin.  First and foremost, be authentic -- be real.  If you contrive admiring words, he will be able to tell.  Start with one compliment or word of appreciation.  It may be as simple as "thank you" and soon the admiration will begin to flow...hopefully both ways.  Here are some ideas to get you started:

Place an "I love you sign in a public place." (I put a sign out side of Steve's office window to surprise him on Valentine's Day.  The fact that all his patients saw it was an extra boost!)   
Write him a love letter.   
Write an acrostic of reasons you adore, admire, and appreciate him A-Z.   
Leave an "I love you" message on his voice mail.   
Write him a thank you note for something specific he did for you.

More From The Girlfriends
Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams? Would you like a little "wow" back in your relationship with the man you married?  Then let seven simple secrets from Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, transform your marriage.  With Biblical wisdom and responses from hundreds of men she surveyed you'll get a glimpse into your husband's deepest longings. 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 10, 2009
Are you normal?
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
1 Peter 4:12-13 "Do not be surprised at the painful things you are now suffering. These things are testing your faith." (ICB)

Friend To Friend
I pray that your New Year is off to a great start!  As wonderful as the holidays are, it is always good to get back into a normal routine. Then the question becomes, "What exactly is normal?"

Author and speaker, Patsy Clairmont says that "normal" is just a setting on the dryer. I am inclined to agree with her.  At birth, the world silently hands us a list of do's and don'ts that we must follow in order to "fit in" and gain approval. I believe God's definition of normal is quite different from my own characterization or the perspective used by others as a measuring stick.

As I look back over the lives of those who made the biggest difference in the early Kingdom days, they were anything but normal. A bag of mixed nuts is more like it - men and women from all walks of life who were radical in their devotion to God - to the point of placing their lives on the line every day for the cause of Christ. They were normal in that they celebrated their "sameness" with the pagans who were shunned by religious zealots but stubbornly loved by the Father. Yet, they were profoundly abnormal in the love they showed and the depth of their commitment to God and to His cause. 

As I was putting the Christmas decorations away for another year, I got to the study where we have a collection of gifts and souvenirs from the various countries where Dan and I have visited to speak.  Each one brought back memories of precious people who, despite being persecuted because of their faith in Jesus Christ, are all people of joy.  As far as material possessions are concerned, they have very little but when it comes to joy, contentment and peace ... they have it all.  These people who have chosen to follow Christ -- even in the face of danger - are not normal!  And I think the face of God shines on them because of their abnormal faith. 

That is the kind of "normal" I want to be this year.  I want to be God with skin on to those who don't even believe He exists.  I want to love every excuse and doubt right out of their minds. I want them to see a power in me that they cannot explain in human terms and a message that shouts of God's mercy and forgiveness.  I want to be hungry and thirsty for God and live my life in the "It is so not about me" gear. 

How about you?  Are you willing to pack away the old, safe, comfortable and quite stale normalcy, allowing God to bring some not so normal people and circumstances into your life?  I'm ready!  Join me, my friend, for the journey. 

Let's Pray
Father, I am so tired of playing it safe, of bowing to the wrong crowd and listening to the wrong voices.  I lay down my pride and surrender to You and Your plan for my life in 2007.  Stretch my faith.  Give me Your eyes to see those in need.  Fill me with Your abnormal power so that others will be drawn to You. 

In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

In what way have you played it safe when it comes to your faith in God?   
Are you willing to be a radical follower of Jesus Christ -- no matter the cost?   
Read Proverbs 3:5-6.  How do these verses apply to an abnormal walk with God?   
What first step do you need to take in order to walk by faith...not by sight?   

More From The Girlfriends
The first time my husband, Dan and I visited Cuba, my eyes were opened to a whole new level of faith.  I watched believers live under the scrutiny of a godless government.  Pastors and their families lived in poverty because they chose to worship none other but the one true God.  Yet, there was no fear - only faith.  They celebrated what they had instead of complaining about what they didn't have.  We were humbled to be in their presence and challenged to live as they lived -- with an abnormal faith and in a radical obedience to God.  That same challenge is before us all today.  Are you ready?  Check out my CD set, Strength for the Storm/I Have a Hope for resources that will strengthen your faith and encourage you in your journey to the heart of God. 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 11, 2009
The Roman Rules of Marriage
Sharon Jaynes


Today's Truth
[Let your] love be sincere-a real thing." (Romans 12:9 AMP)

Friend to Friend
February is the month we celebrate love, marriage, and sweethearts.  But love is more than frilly Valentine's Cards, heart-shaped candy, and bouquets of roses or balloons.  Sometimes love is commitment to hard work.

If you are married, here are some questions for reflection:  Do I love my husband well?  Do I adore the man God has given to me?  Am I admiring him as a child of God?  Am I appreciating him for who he is today instead of what he could be if he lived up to my expectations? Am I giving my heart freely or do I make him feel as though he constantly has to earn my love?

Paul gives us some good advice on how to love one another in Romans 12:9-18. 

Love must be sincere.   
Cling to what is good.   
Be devoted to one another.   
Honor one another above yourselves.   
Never be lacking in zeal.   
Be joyful in hope.   
Be patient in affliction.   
Be faithful in prayer   
Share with God's people who are in need.   
Practice hospitality.   
Bless those who persecute you.   
Rejoice with those who rejoice.   
Mourn with those who mourn.   
Live in harmony with one another.   
Do not be proud.   
Do not be conceited.   
Do not repay anyone evil for evil.   
Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.   
If it is possible, a far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Now take a look at that list.  It is easy to think that Paul is talking about our friends or fellow Christians.  But if these are the guidelines for loving our friends, how much more are they guidelines for loving our very own husbands!  As Ann Landers once said, "Love is friendship that has caught fire.  It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing, and forgiving.  It is a loyalty through good and bad.  It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses."

I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day as you celebrate your marriage. And if you're not married, celebrate the love you share with friends, family, and your heavenly Bridegroom - Jesus Christ.

Let's Pray
Dear God of Love, I pray that I will love others well today.  I pray that You will fill me with Your Holy Spirit so that I can overflow Your love to those around me.  I know that loving others is Your most important command.  Help me to keep that foremost in my mind and actions this day.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
Go back up to the Roman Rules above.  Either write them out or print them off from this devotion.  Carry this list in your pocket and glance at them often today.  Check up on yourself several times through the day and see how you're doing!

If you're brave enough, ask a friend to give you honest feedback on what you do well and what needs improvement.

More From The Girlfriends
February is the month of love and a wonderful time to contemplate our marriages.  Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams?  The woman who makes him sorry to leave in the morning and eager to come home at night?  Then you'll want to read Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes for an insightful look at the wonderful, unique, and God-ordained role only you have in your husband's life.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 12, 2009
Reaching and Teaching
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
"Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind..." (Titus 2:3-5a,NIV).

Friend to Friend
One day, following a church service, a fellow 'lead worshipper' approached me.  She is a fabulously lovely, young, hip '20-something' chick who totally loves Jesus.  To my surprise and delight, she asked if I would consider becoming her mentor.  At first I thought...'but I'm way too young to be your mentor!!'  Then I woke up from my momentary dream and remembered that I am a wise-on-my-good-days, slightly-elder-ish '30-something' chick with a decade of life, marriage, and ministry on her.  I was excited and scared at the same moment as I readily agreed.  Of course I would agree!  I have been blessed beyond measure by many women in my life who are slightly more gray and slightly less green than me!!  (Mary and Sharon...I am SO not saying you girls are gray!  Love you!)

We all need a spiritual mentor to take our hand as we face life. Likewise, we all need to grab hold of a younger spiritual hand for the journey, to bring them along in Christ and strengthen their spiritual muscles, to encourage, teach and admonish. As runners in a relay race reach forward to grab the baton from their teammate in front of them, they also extend the baton back to a runner about to take off in her own race. We need to be reaching and teaching! 

The Bible says in Mark chapter 6 that after John the Baptist had died, his disciples came and took his body and laid it in a tomb.  I found it interesting that the word 'disciples' was used instead of the word friends or associates.  The implication is that John had poured his life into guiding and instructing these men in the truth and hope of Christ. 

The Bible also tells us that Jesus revered John the Baptist as one of the greatest men to ever walk the earth.  Interestingly, John did not consider himself even worthy to tie the sandals of Jesus.  So even a man such as John the Baptist, who was set apart for a special God-mission to prepare the way for the LORD, needed to reach forward to Christ for guidance and wisdom.  What a beautiful example we see here.  John made disciples.  With God's help and a little effort, we can too! 

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, You are so good to instruct us toward relationships...both with You and with others.  Would you help me to grow in faith?  Would you use me to make a difference in the lives of other women as well?  Please lead me in Your will and in Your ways.  In the powerful name of Jesus, Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Do you have a spiritual mentor?   
Have you spoken with her recently?   
Why not call or email her to set up a date to meet for coffee or lunch this week?   
Are you mentoring anyone right now?   
If so...why don't you call or email her to set up a time to meet for coffee or lunch sometime in the next week or two?   
If you are not a spiritual mentor yet or don't have a spiritual mentor...take a few moments to seek God's heart about this for your life.
More from the Girlfriends
This is the heart of what Girlfriends in God is all about...reaching and teaching...pouring into the lives of other women so that together we can experience the far reaching love of God more intimately.  Thanks for joining us on the journey.  We love you, Girlfriend!

Take a few moments to sing a song of praise to God this morning! He delights in your worship. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN to some praise music.

Are you into FaceBook?? Check out Gwen's MUSIC PAGE on FaceBook - leave a message on her wall - share the page with your FB friends!

Gwen Smith is a worship artist, songwriter, speaker, and author. For more information, visit her website at: www.gwensmith.net.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 13, 2009
Then God Created a Helper
Sharon Jaynes

(In honor of Valentine's Day, I'll be focusing on marriage during the month of February!)

Today's Truth
And the Lord God said, "It isn't good for man to be alone.  I will make a companion for him, a helper suited to his needs" (Genesis 2:18 TLB)

Friend To Friend
Do you remember the story of Creation recorded in Genesis?  I never cease to wonder at that marvelous beginning of the book I have grown to love..."In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth."  Before the creation of the world, there was nothing...  Try to think of...nothing. It's hard to do. Then God molded the earth in His hands, decorated the sky with the sun, moon, and stars; scattered seed of every kind in the soil, released flocks of birds into the sky, swarms of insects into the air, and schools of fish into the sea. Then, on the sixth day, God created all the creeping animals and He created man in His own image.  After each masterpiece was completed, God said, "It is good."  The only time God said "It is not good," was when He said, "It is not good for man to be alone."

But for Adam no suitable helper was found.  So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.  Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of man, and he brought her to the man (Genesis 2:20-22).

The New American Standard Bible says God "fashioned" Eve.  He took extra special care when He created you.  As a matter-of-fact, woman was God's grand finale! 

Up to this point in the Genesis recording of creation, Adam had remained silent.  However, when he saw the fair Eve, I imagine he said, "Whoa! Now this is good!"  We don't know for sure, but we do know that his first recorded words were after laying eyes on God's magnificent gift to him.  "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man" (Genesis 2:23).

Eve was created to complete man like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together.  The word complete means to fill up; that which is required to supply a deficiency; one of two mutually completing parts. While each translation of the Bible uses a different combination of words to describe Eve, they each contain the word helper.  The man was not better than the woman (he was lacking without her).  The woman was not better than the man (she was lacking without him).  Paul wrote, "However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman" (I Corinthians 11:11).  We were designed to depend on and to compliment each other. The Greek word helper can also be translated partner. "Just as the rib is found at the side of the man and is attached to him, even so the good wife, the rib of her husband, stand at his side to be his helper-counterpart, and her soul is bound up with his."

While some may bristle at the thought of being called a mere helper, we need only to look at the pages of Scripture to see helper is a place of great honor.  The word helper that is used for woman (ezer) is derived from the Hebrew word used of God and the Holy Spirit (azar). Both mean helper -- one who comes alongside to aid or assist.    King David wrote, "O Lord, be Thou my helper" (Psalm 30:10) -"The LORD is with me; he is my helper" (Psalm 118:7) Moses said of God, "My father's God was my helper; he saved me from the sword of the Pharaoh" (Exodus 18:4).  In the New Testament, Jesus told the disciples that when He ascended to heaven, His Father would send them another Helper, the Holy Spirit (John 14:16).  When we consider that the same word is used for "woman", we should feel honored!

Today, think about your relationship with your husband.  Are you a completer or a competer?  Are you a helper or a hindrance?  Determine in your heart to be all that God intended you to be as a wife to your man.

Let's Pray
Dear Lord, I am constantly amazed that You saw fit to bring me and my husband together.  I admit that sometimes I am more of a hindrance to him than a helper, more of a competer than a completer.  Help me to look for ways that I can be partner with him to complete him.  I do want to be the wife that You created me to be.  Help me to listen to Your still small voice when You convict me that I am not. 

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Now It's Your Turn
What comes to mind when you read in the Bible that you were created to be a "helper?"

Considering that the same word is used of the Holy Spirit, how does that change your initial reaction?

What are some ways that you can be a helper to your husband this week?

What are some ways that you can be his completer?

More From The Girlfriends
Do you want to become the woman of your husband's dreams? Would you like a little "wow" back in your relationship with the man you married?  Then let seven simple secrets from Sharon's book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams, transform your marriage.  With Biblical wisdom and responses from hundreds of men she surveyed you'll get a glimpse into your husband's deepest longings.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 16, 2009
Getting Past Your Past
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
Ephesians 1:7 He (God) is so rich in kindness that he purchased our freedom through the blood of his Son, and our sins are forgiven.  (NLT)

Friend To Friend
One of the key factors in my ongoing battle with clinical depression is dealing with and letting go of past sin and pain. If I am not careful, the shadows of yesterday can so easily become the dark clouds of today.  In order to deal with depression and the darkness life can hold, we must deal with sin -- first, in a personal relationship with Christ and then on a daily basis as a believer.

Every believer has two problems when it comes to dealing with sin.  First, we must confess sin.  I know it sounds simple but so many of us have lost our sensitivity to sin because we are aligned with the world instead of with God.  The mark of a believer growing in grace is sensitivity to sin.  When I was a little girl, I rarely wore shoes, but when the first day of summer came along, I kicked off my shoes and stored them in my closet -- wearing them only when necessary.  Even now, I can remember the painful sensations of playing on the gravel road beside our house those first days of summer vacation.  The sharp rocks cut and bruised my tender feet but by summer's end, my feet were rough and calloused.  I could run, jump and play for hours on the rocks that had once caused so much pain. 

Sin is much the same.  The first time we commit a sin, it breaks our heart, but the next time we commit that same sin, it doesn't seem quite as bad.  Our heart becomes calloused to that sin we repeatedly commit and a foothold is formed, making a place for depression and darkness to reside. We must confess sin completely, confidently and continually.  Jesus is faithful and will keep His promise to forgive and to cleanse us from all sin. 

Psalm 103:12 (NIV) As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

The second problem we have with sin is forgetting forgiven sin.  Is it even possible to experience true forgiveness?  While we can't totally blot out a memory, we can make sure it's no longer a live issue in our life.  God's way seems too easy -- to just ask and receive.  We act as if the Holy Spirit needs our help or as if what Jesus did on the cross was not enough.  We feel like we must make additional payments for our sin by doing something when Micah 7:19 is clear about God's attitude toward our sin, "Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean." (NLT) The problem comes when we revisit confessed sin, when we "go fishing" in the waters of our past. 

Sometimes, the core of clinical depression or any pit in life is riddled with sin we have never acknowledged or dealt with.  Guilt and shame surround each transgression and since condemnation seems like the logical solution, we allow the darkness to consume us as payment for each sin.  An important part of the battle with the darkness of depression is the deliberate choice to face and deal with sin.

Let's Pray
Father, I am so tired of trying to live today while carrying the baggage of my past.  Please give me the courage to face the sins I have tried so hard to bury.  Help me to turn away from each one, leaving it in Your hands.  Thank You, Lord, for Your grace, Your mercy and Your love.   Please fill my heart with the light of Your forgiveness. 

In Jesus' name,
Amen. 

Now It's Your Turn
In order to deal with the sin in your life, consider the following action steps.

I understand that forgiveness requires repentance.
I choose to confront and turn from the sin in my life.
I am willing to destroy any paths that might lead to that same sin.
I trust God for the power to practice repentance and praise Him for the forgiveness He offers.
More From The Girlfriends
Today's devotion can and will change your life if you apply it personally.  You don't have to understand it all to have it all, girlfriend.  Accept His love.  Surrender the pain and sin of your past to His forgiveness and healing power.  Come to Him just as you are.  If you want to hear more about dealing with sin, get Mary's CD, How to Get Past Your Past.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 17, 2009
A Husband's Prayer Warrior
Sharon Jaynes

In honor of Valentine's Day, Sharon's devotions will focus on marriage during the month of February.

Today's Truth
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12 NIV).

Friend To Friend
Of all the roles and responsibilities that God has given us as wives, the position of prayer warrior or intercessor is perhaps the greatest of all.  An intercessor is a person who intervenes or prays for another person. It was derived from the Greek word, enteuxis, which means to go before a King with a petition or plea on behalf of someone else.

In essence, it means the same thing today.  We go before the King of Kings with a petition or plea on our husbands' behalf. What we accomplish on our knees in the invisible realm will ultimately affect the strength of our marriage in the visible realm.  There is no other person who is more called or more qualified to pray for your man than you.

In the Bible, God describes the marriage of a man and a woman as a visual example of the spiritual union between Jesus Christ and the church (all Christians).  Believers are called "the bride of Christ" (Revelation 19:7).  We are walking, talking, earthly examples of the heavenly relationship between God's Son and those who believe on His name.  God instructs men, "Love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25).

There is someone who wants to destroy that living example, and his name is Satan. Jesus said, "The thief (Satan) comes to steal, kill, and destroy" (John 10:10). He desires to destroy the God ordained and designed institution of marriage.  He began with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden and continues his destructive tactics even today.  Satan is not very creative, but he's very effective, and he uses the same temptations and tactics today that he used in the first marriage on earth. Satan has proclaimed an all out assault on the family and he begins at the top -- with the husband and wife.

So many times, we fail to see the real enemy in our marital struggles.  The writer of Ephesians explains, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12).  When I am having a conflict with my husband, I need to stop, take a deep breath, and think...who is the real enemy here? While there is a spiritual battle raging all around us that we can't even see, there is an even greater reality that our five senses detect.  It is a battle that is not to be feared, but one that is to be recognized and fought the only place where it can be won -- in prayer.

Let's Pray:
Dear Lord, I pray for my husband, from head to toe.

His Head --That he will look to You as Lord of his life. (1 Corinthians 11:3)   
His Mind -- That he will have the mind of Christ and think as the Holy Spirit would lead him and not the flesh. (1 Corinthians 2:16)   
His Eyes --That You will keep his eyes from temptation and that he will turn his eyes from sin. (Matthew 6:13, Mark 9:47)   
His Ears -- That he will hear Your still small voice instructing him. (1 Kings 19:12, Psalm 32:   
His Mouth -- That his words will be pleasing to You. (Proverbs 19:1)   
His Neck -- That he will humble himself before You and be strong, courageous, and careful to do everything written in Your Word so that he will be prosperous and successful. (James 4:10, Joshua 1:8-9)   
His Heart -- That he will love and trust You with his whole heart. (Deuteronomy 6:5, Proverbs 3:5)   
His Arms -- That You will be his strength. (Psalm 73:26)   
His Hands -- That he will enjoy the work of his hands and see it as a gift from You. (Ecclesiastes 3:13, 5:19)   
His Feet -- That You will order his steps and that he will walk in Your truth. (Proverbs 4:25, Psalm 26:3)
Now It's Your Turn
Consider asking your husband for some specific ways that you can pray for him today.

Look up each of the Scripture references above and make the prayer for your husband specific to his particular needs.

Find one friend with whom you can pray for your marriage.  Commit to pray for each other's marriage on a regular basis.

More From The Girlfriends
Praying for your husband is one of your most important roles as a wife.  If you would like a more comprehensive list of Scriptural prayers to pray for your husband, you can find them in Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes.  Also, Sharon has the prayer above laminated on a prayer card that can be tucked in your Bible for easy reference.  Just log onto www.sharonjaynes.com and click on Books and audio. 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

February 18, 2009
How to Deal With Stress
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell in the house of the LORD Forever."(Psalm 23:1-6 NIV)

Friend To Friend
As I drove home from a busy day of running errands, my thoughts drifted to the absurd schedule through which I had hurled myself that day. It was a schedule without margins, every moment assigned to something or someone. My stress level grew with every task, threatening to overwhelm my heart and soul in a torrential downpour of anxiety and tension.  I couldn't wait to get home, change into my comfort clothes and sink into solitude and rest. But stress was waiting to greet me, just inside my front door. Children needed clean clothes, hot food, transportation to various events, help with homework and a listening ear. My husband had experienced the same kind of chaotic day I had and was in desperate need of peace and quiet for his frazzled soul. Ah, life!

Stress is a familiar and faithful companion, an unavoidable part of life.  It doesn't matter where we work or live, whether we are married or single; have no children or dozens of them, are filthy rich or dirt poor. We will encounter stress as we strive to honor God by becoming His fully devoted followers.  Unless we learn how to manage stress -- God's way - we will become a sitting duck for the enemy. 

Stress management is a spiritual discipline.  The truth of Psalm 23:1 is the starting place for dealing with stress. Life begins here -- in a vital, personal relationship with the living, peace giving God. It is very frustrating to try living the Christian life when you are not one. I know. For years, I tried desperately to be a Christian, saved by knowledge and good works.  It simply cannot be done. To know who we are, we must understand whose we are. 

I grew up in a Christian home, attending church every time the doors were open.  I sang all the right songs, spoke all the right words and did all the right things. I prayed that my works would validate my faith and desperately hoped that by following the rules I would please the Ruler. It was not until middle school that the authentic life and spiritual integrity of a dynamic youth pastor made me hunger and thirst for God.  During a Saturday evening worship service, I sat in a church pew, wrestling with God over my soul.  After all, I was a very active church member, a soloist and pianist in worship services, and even directed a children's choir.  I argued that I knew all about God -- and then it hit me. Yes, I knew about Him but I did not know Him. That night we met.  I surrendered all I knew about myself to all I knew about Him.  The course of my life was re-set and I was changed forever. 

Over the years, there have been times when sin has hindered my relationship with God - but it has not and cannot sever that relationship. Nothing can separate us from His love.  However, when we cherish and harbor sin, life inevitably spirals into a swirling cesspool of chaos where stress reigns and self-doubt flourishes. What a powerful promise found in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sin, He is faithful to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". Every time I read that verse, I am amazed by the hope it conveys.  When we confess sin, God not only forgives that sin but removes the stain it leaves behind.  The stain of sin is one of Satan's favorite weapons.  With it, he births guilt and shame, crippling us spiritually.  When we buy into those lies, allowing them free reign, we are telling God that sending His son to die on the cross was not enough.  I cannot even imagine what it must do to His heart, as He watches His children settle for so little when He offers so much.  Knowing whose we are empowers us to live and serve from His love -- not to it -- and is the first key in dealing with stress.

I have spent a great deal of my life wondering who and what I am.  Much of my stress and frustration could have been avoided by understanding that my identity can only be found in a personal relationship with God.  That knowledge frees me to be me.  Knowing whose we are brings peace and settles our souls.  Today, sit at His feet.  Allow Him to draw you into His arms.  Listen to His heart and voice.  And you will know that you belong to Him.  Nothing else matters. 

Let's Pray
Father, I want to thank You for loving me and for making me Your child.  As I face each day, help me to remember that I belong to You, and because I belong to You, I have everything I need and can dwell in peace.  Today, I choose to trust and rest in You. 

In Jesus' name,
Amen. 

Now It's Your Turn 


Identify the most stressful areas of your life.  Read Psalm 23 every day this month, committing each one of these areas to the Shepherd.  As you walk through each stress-filled day, lean on the truths of this psalm.  At the end of the month, evaluate your stress level.   
I encourage you to list the sins that stand between you and God.  Face them, deal with them and turn away from them.  Perhaps you have sinned against someone.  Don't wait another minute.  Ask their forgiveness.  Sin that has never been confessed is a stronghold of the enemy from which he dispenses guilt, condemnation and stress.
More From The Girls
Stressed out?  I encourage you to read Psalm 23 every day for one month and see what happens to your stress level. Escaping the Stress Trap, is my book based on Psalm 23 and offers practical ways to manage the stress in your life, instead of allowing stress to manage you.  (Also available in CD, MP3 and downloadable bible study form)  We pray that your day is saturated with His peace, power and love.  Blessings. 

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com