Girlfriends in God

[Judy Harder]

July 10, 2013
Choose to Forgive
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:5, NIV).

Friend to Friend

Sometimes the hardest thing to say is "I'm sorry," to admit that we have hurt someone. The only thing that can be harder is to forgive those who have hurt us.

The story is told of a father and his teenage son who lived in Spain. Over the years, their relationship became strained. The list of hurts grew so long that the son ran away from home. The father searched for him, but after months of failure, the father made one last desperate effort by putting an ad in the local newspaper of Madrid.

"Dear Paco, meet me in front of the newspaper office at noon. All is forgiven. I love you. Your Father." The next day at noon, in front of the newspaper office, eight hundred Pacos showed up. We all need forgiveness, and we all must learn how to forgive.

I grew up in a small Texas town where we lived in what some would call a "shack" on the edge of town. My mother worked three jobs to support three children, but her main job was as a nurse.

I was frequently sick with colds and ear infections. We had little money, but we did have a family doctor who was a friend and colleague of my mother. In fact, they worked side-by-side each day at the one and only hospital in town. Knowing our financial circumstances, this doctor and his wife often asked my mom to baby-sit to earn extra money. They had five children, so I was often recruited to go along as a backup.

Over the years, this doctor often took care of our medical needs, charging us nothing. He was our friend, a man I respected and trusted – until the day he molested me. The pain and betrayal were so great that I locked it all away in a dark corner of my soul, refusing to admit it had ever happened. I told no one.

Fast-forward twenty years. I was happily married to Dan Southerland and had two wonderful children. I travelled, speaking for women's events and loved being a pastor's wife. Everything on the outside looked great, but inside, the past slowly ate away at my soul until my world collapsed, and I sank into a pit of clinical depression. I was paralyzed. The simple tasks seemed like impossible mountains to climb. Panic attacks became a daily event. I stepped out of ministry and began to uncover the wounds I had desperately tried to ignore most of my life.

I kept insanely busy in a vain attempt to earn God's favor and the approval of others. My worth seemed to rest on the foundation of doing, instead of being. I soon discovered that one of the main reasons I had fallen into that pit was because I refused to face and deal with the pain of my past.

With the help of a loving husband, a Christian psychiatrist and a brilliant family doctor, I began to make slow but steady progress in climbing out of that dark, slimy pit. Then, I remembered.

I remembered that day in the doctor's office. I fell apart. I hated that man. I wanted him to pay for what he had done to me. I wanted him to hurt like I had been hurt. I also knew that somehow, I had to let my pain go and forgive him, or I would be trapped for the rest of my life. God and I began to work through every painful, horrifying moment of that memory.

Months passed, and the day came when Dan asked me to speak for all five worship services of our church. When I asked him what the topic was, he smiled and simply said, "Forgiveness." I knew what God was up to and being the mature and godly woman that I was, I lost it.

"That man does not deserve forgiveness, Lord," I ranted. My Father whispered, "Neither do you, child."  I was still angry.

"Lord, he is the one that hurt me," I cried. "Just as you have hurt me," He responded. I wasn't through.

"I think it's only fair for me to wait for him to make the first move. And then he needs to come crawling on his hands and knees, begging for my forgiveness!" In the silence, I heard the words of the Great Physician, a voice I have come to love so much, "Aren't you glad I didn't wait for you to come to me?"

I had a choice to make. I could choose to hang on to my anger and bitterness, making that evil man my jailer, or I could choose to forgive him and set myself free.

But I just couldn't forgive him on my own, so I did what David did.

I cried out to God.

Psalm 40:1-3a (NIV) "I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry.  He lifted me out of the slimy pit; out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God."

As I wrestled with the choice to forgive,I learned several life-changing truths:

If we make the choice to forgive, God will supply the forgiveness. 
There should be no limit to our forgiveness because there is no limit to His. 
Forgiveness is not a feeling or an emotion. Forgiveness is a deliberate choice.
We must deal with old pain before we can truly live today and tomorrow. While we cannot change the past, we can change our response to the past and dictate the power it has over us. God sent a Savior, Jesus Christ, who is calling us to forgive. The choice is ours to make. Today, we can choose freedom by choosing to forgive.

Let's Pray

Father, I am so tired of holding on to the pain in my life. I want to forgive those who have hurt me and learn how to let go of the pain and walk on. Today, I choose to love my enemies and bless those who have harmed me. Please give me the strength and power to honor you as I step out in obedience.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read and memorize Colossians 2:13-14 "Then God made you alive with Christ. He forgave all our sins. He canceled the record that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ's cross."

How do these verses impact the way you practice forgiveness in your life? Who do you need to forgive? Whose forgiveness do you need?

More from the Girlfriends 

Need help? Check out Mary's E-Bible study, How to Get Past Your Past, and let it help you learn to choose forgiveness. And be sure to check out Mary's new weekly Online Bible StudyFrom a Mess to a Miracle. Enroll now and have access to all 2013 lessons. And be sure to connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

[Judy Harder]

July 11, 2013
Finding What You've Always Wanted
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than they ever dreamed of, (John 10:10msg).

Friend to Friend

Yard sales. I've never really liked them. But when we were preparing to move from the home we had lived in for 20 years, we decided it was a must. It was a way to clean out the clutter, make a little money, and not haul yesterday's treasures to today's trash.

We displayed our lovely attic decor on makeshift plywood tables and waited for the bargain babes to descend. We were not disappointed. Two hours before the advertised opening time, treasure hunters began congregating outside the closed garage doors. Then, upon the unveiling, the swarm attacked.

Among the valuables from my past sat an electric ceramic Christmas tree with various colored lights...no doubt a gift from the eighties. One particular woman perused the lovely display and came upon this "magnificent work of art."

"I've always wanted one of these!" she declared with excitement in her voice. "How much is it?"

"Three dollars," my husband answered.

"Humph," she grunted and walked on.

Steve and I just looked at each other and stifled our laughter.

Let's rewind the scene for a moment. This woman said she had always wanted a ceramic Christmas tree just like that one. (I'm not here to judge another person's dreams. That's just what she said.) Always. Her whole life. And here it was! For a mere three dollars, her dream could have come true! The search over! Most likely we would have sacrificed this masterpiece for two dollars, but she didn't even ask. She just shrugged and walked away.

Then my mind began to wander through a rummage sale of its own. I thought about the Pharisees in the Bible. For years they waited for the coming of the promised Messiah. Prayed about it. Preached about it. Prepared for it. Then, when Jesus showed up, they turned their backs and walked away. "Humph," they said with a shrug. "No thanks."

How many times do we long for a particular dream to come true in our lives? Long for it. Search for it. Obsess over it. A husband. A child. A job. A home. Then one day, there it is! It can be ours! The search is over! We say our "I do's," bring home the bundle of joy, log in our first eight hours, hang the last curtain. But then a little time passes. The husband is not as romantic as we had hoped, the kids are not as obedient and loving as we had imagined, the job isn't as rewarding as we had envisioned, and the house is a never-ending maze of maintenance. "Humph," we grumble. We think we want something, and then when we get it, we decide we really don't want it after all.

Let me take it one step further. How many times do we long for love, joy, and peace in our lives? We search for it, long for it, and pray about it. Then someone points us to the cross and says, "There is it. It can be yours for the asking. It's not three dollars, two dollars, or even one dollar. It's free!"

"Humph," we shrug. "No thanks." And we walk away to rummage through the yard sales of life looking for treasure among other people's clutter.

Dear friend, God is holding out His holy hand with the most magnificent gift of all time. Love, joy, and peace personified in His Son, Jesus Christ. He is what you have always been longing for, searching for, watching for. Jesus said, "I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10). Will we take Him up on the offer or say, "Humph. No thanks," and walk away?

Chances are, you've already taken hold of Jesus' hand at one time or another. So today, examine your heart and make sure you haven't returned to the rummage sales of life to find fulfillment, but have continued to experience the abundant life that only Jesus can give. He IS what your heart has always wanted.

Let's Pray

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for making all my dreams come true. You have given me everything I have ever longed for in the person of Jesus Christ. Please forgive me for turning my back on Your amazing gift and trying to fill my longings with people and possessions. I know that nothing will ever satisfy my desire for peace, love, and joy except Jesus. In His name I pray, amen.

Now It's Your Turn

What have you always wanted?

What has Jesus given you?

Why do you think believers continue to rummage around trying to find fulfillment rather than experiencing the abundant life Jesus came to give?

Click over to my blog page and share your answer.

More from the Girlfriends

Do you long to feel close to God but sense there's something missing? That you've missed that mysterious formula to make it happen? Do have a glory ache – a persistent longing to experience God's presence and working in your life, but not quite sure how to make it happen? If so, my new book, A Sudden Glory: God's Lavish Response for Something More, is just for you. Join me in discovering how erase the lines between the secular and the sacred and experience a deeper more intimate relationship with God than ever before. While you're there, you can download a free chapter or watch a video book trailer.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.


Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
info@girlfriendsingod.com
www.girlfriendsingod.com

[Judy Harder]

July 12, 2013
Nothing is Impossible With God
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left (Exodus 14:21-22, NIV).

Friend to Friend

A boy was sitting on a park bench with one hand resting on an open Bible. He was loudly exclaiming his praise to God. "Hallelujah! Hallelujah! God is great!" he yelled without worrying whether anyone heard him or not.       

Shortly after, along came a man who had recently completed some studies at a local university. Feeling himself very enlightened in the ways of truth and very eager to show this enlightenment, he asked the boy about the source of his joy.         

"Hey" asked the boy in return with a bright laugh, "Don't you have any idea what God is able to do? I just read that God opened up the waves of the Red Sea and led the whole nation of Israel right through the middle."         

The enlightened man laughed lightly, sat down next to the boy and began to try to open his eyes to the "realities" of the miracles of the Bible. "That can all be very easily explained. Modern scholars have shown that the Red Sea in that area was only ten inches deep at that time. It was no problem for the Israelites to wade across.         

The boy was stumped. His eyes wandered from the man back to the Bible laying open in his lap. The man, content that he had enlightened a poor, naive young person to the finer points of scientific insight, turned to go. He had taken only two steps when the boy began to rejoice and praise louder than before. The man turned to ask the reason for this resumed jubilation.         

"Wow!" exclaimed the boy happily, "God is greater than I thought! Not only did He lead the whole nation of Israel through the Red Sea, He topped it off by drowning the whole Egyptian army in ten inches of water!"         

The Old Testament book of Exodus shows, over and over again, that nothing is impossible with God. Nothing! Moses was an ordinary man who was chosen by God to do an extraordinary task. On the far side of the desert in Midian, high on the mountain of God, Moses met the LORD face to flame. God appeared to Moses "in flames of fire from within a bush."         

I would imagine that Moses was probably dirty, sweaty, and stinky from shepherding as he stood on holy ground before the LORD. I'm sure he was keenly aware of his filth and stench, both physically and spiritually. As he slipped off his shoes, he hid his face in fear. Moses did not feel adequate for the assignment that he had been given. He wasn't confident in his abilities to get the job done. In fact, he even pleaded with God to send someone else! Moses said to God in Exodus 4:10, "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."           

But God had a plan and Moses was His man. Through ten plagues and many signs and wonders, God flexed his muscles through Moses. Once Pharaoh had finally let God's people go, Moses led the Israelites out of Egypt. No compass was necessary. God led His people through the desert with a pillar of clouds by day and a pillar of fire by night. It must have been an amazing sight. It must have been thrilling...up until the point where Pharaoh's army was closing in on them as they approached the Red Sea. Talk about being faced with a seemingly impossible situation! Moses and around two million of his closest Hebrew friends stood at the edge of the water with nowhere to go. They were trapped. They were terrified and cried out to the LORD (Exodus 14:10). BUT GOD! God was on time for the miracle show. He had a plan. He made a way. Nothing is too difficult for God!           

Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still" (Exodus 14:13). God purposed this extravagant rescue for His glory. The Lord will fight for you. When God is on our side, fighting for us, we can certainly be assured of victory!         

Then Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and all that night the LORD drove the sea back with a strong east wind and turned it into dry land. The waters were divided, and the Israelites went through the sea on dry ground, with a wall of water on their right and on their left (Exodus 14:21-22).         

The Israelites were saved, and Pharaoh's army was destroyed - all under the watchful eyes of the LORD. God wanted to be glorified through a seemingly impossible situation. He wants to be glorified through the difficult situations that you face, too. If God is for us, who can be against us? (Romans 8:31) When we stand with Christ, we stand with power. What Red Sea are you facing? Nothing is impossible with God. When you set aside your doubts and call on the name of the LORD, you can face the waters of your circumstances with a strong confidence, knowing that God is able and willing to do great things in and through you. Continue to follow the pillars of cloud and of fire of God's leading. You have a chance to bring God the glory of which He is so deserving!

Let's Pray

Dear God, like Moses, I often feel unequipped to handle the assignments You have given me. You know exactly what overwhelming waters I face today. As I stand at the water's edge, I commit to trusting Your strength. I will not give in to the fears, frustrations, and doubts that mock me. You are far more powerful than the circumstances of my life. Thank you for reminding me that nothing is too difficult for you.

In Jesus' Name, Amen

Now It's Your Turn

Grab some paper or your journal and list some "pillars of fire and pillars of clouds." God has placed in your life to give you direction on your journey.

What is God asking you to trust Him in or through? Spend a few moments in prayer over this. Then click over to my blog or my Facebook page so we can take the conversation deeper. Leave a comment about what God is calling you to trust Him with today.

More from the Girlfriends

30 Day Summer Psalm Adventure:How would you like to join your girlfriends and thousands of other women in a FREE interactive Bible study? If you are ready to go deeper with God by searching and savoring His Word, click over to the 30 Day Summer Psalm Adventure sign up page on Gwen's websiteand register today!

Today's GiG devotion is adapted from Trusting God by Sharon Jaynes, Gwen Smith, & Mary Southerland by permission of Multnomah, division of Random House, Inc. Moving beyond our doubts and fears can sometimes be hard. Need help? Order a copy of our GiG book, Trusting God, A Girlfriends in God Faith Adventure. This is the perfect book for individual study or for gathering a group of friends in what we call GiG Groups. With impactful devotions, study questions, journal pages, free on-line video intros, and an index of trust-building Scriptures, this book is a resource you'll refer to time-and-time again.

[Judy Harder]

July 15, 2013
Ask and You Will Receive
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you (Matthew 7:7, NIV).

Friend to Friend

I have always loved giving gifts to my children – all kinds of gifts including hugs, kisses, time, and love – as well as material things like toys, books, and clothes. When the kids were young we didn't have much money, so the gifts were small, but the kids didn't seem to mind. I often scrimped and saved in order to buy a certain item for a birthday or for Christmas, and loved every minute of it.

Dan and I now have five grandchildren and I am in so much trouble! I want to give them everything! I know I need to give them the important things such as love, time and training in the ways of God, but I find myself in the same situation I was in when our son and daughter were babies – little money but a big desire to give.

I once took our daughter-in-law shopping for Jaydan and Lelia, our five-year-old twins. I had a list of items I wanted to purchase but was disappointed when I found only half of the items on the list. However, it was getting late, and the babies began to "tell" us that they were ready for dinner and bedtime. We checked out, loaded the babies into the car, and headed home.

When Jodi leaned over to kiss my cheek and thank me for the gifts, I looked at her and said, "You are so welcome, honey, but it's not enough!" Jodi chuckled, but I was serious! "No, you don't understand," I continued.  "We have to go shopping again because I haven't given the babies enough and my heart is not excited enough yet!" I know. I am totally ruined, but I am going to try very hard not to ruin Jaydan and Lelia. (The projected success rate does not look good right now, but I promise to work on it.)

On the way home, I began to analyze my words and my heart. I fully realize that material things won't satisfy the deepest needs of our grandchildren. I am also committed to investing time in their lives to help them find Jesus Christ and discover His plan for their lives. Honestly, I don't really know how to explain what I feel for our grandchildren, but it is sort of like watching my heart walk around on the outside of my body. I know I can love them in so many ways...and I do...and I will...but I always want to give them more.

Our Father has the same heart - a giving heart - when it comes to giving His children good things. The problem is that we don't really believe that truth. We tend to measure His love and benevolent heart of giving by how much we have done or accomplished, or even by what we haven't done and promise not to do.

We are missing the truth that God's love simply cannot be measured. God doesn't love us because we are so lovable. God loves us because He is love.

One of the most tragic results of our unbelief is an ineffective prayer life. We pray, not really believing that God wants to or really will answer those prayers. Jesus addresses this issue in Matthew 7:7-11.

Matthew 7:7-11 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him?"                   

Jesus is teaching about prayer and about the very nature of God. He relates it to something we all can understand, the child-parent relationship. The son has been out in the fields working all day long and by the time he comes home, he is starving. His family is seated at the dinner table as dishes of steaming, delicious food are being passed around. I can almost see that tired and hungry boy's eyes zeroing in on the food, salivating in anticipation of the meal before him. Then imagine that the father, seeing the hunger of his child, picks up a rock, tosses it to his son and says, "Here! Eat this!" Jesus is driving home the truth that good fathers want to give their kids good gifts. Now if this is true of earthly parents (and grandparents), imagine what our Heavenly Parent wants to give us - if only we would ask.

No one's voice sounds sweeter to God than your voice, girlfriend. Nothing in the universe could keep Him from giving you His full attention when you pray. In fact, He longs to hear your prayer. In Psalm 34:8, the psalmist invites us to "taste and see that the LORD is good." In this verse, "Lord" means "Jehovah, Abba Father." In other words, your Abba Father, Dearest Daddy, is inviting you to come to Him in childlike faith, with a hungry heart so He can fill it with the gifts of peace, contentment and a satisfied spirit.

Don't think you have to figure out a way to steal a blessing from God. Don't believe you have to trick Him into giving up what He would rather keep for Himself. It is God's very nature to give to His children. He has made all of His resources available to you. Do not doubt for a moment that He is a giving God with a heart that longs to bless, to encourage, to empower and to love you. God is not only able to answer your prayer, but God wants to answer your prayer. Ask and you will receive.

Let's Pray

Father, I find it so hard to comprehend Your love for me. Help me understand that You love me – no matter what I do or don't do. Teach me to live each day in Your strength and power instead of my own. I want everything You have for me, Lord. Today, I choose to believe that You stand ready to encourage, empower and equip me for whatever comes my way.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Read Psalm 51:10. How is a clean heart related to the blessings of God?
Focus on the blessings God has already given you and praise Him for each one.
Read Proverbs 21:2. "A person may think their own ways are right, but the LORD weighs the heart."How does this verse apply to the blessings of God in your life?

[Judy Harder]

July 16, 2013
Drifting
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it," (Hebrews 2:1 NASB).

Friend to Friend

It was supposed to be a sailing adventure for Pastor Loran and his youth group at Central Church. His friend procured three sailing vessels that resembled the Nina, Piñta, and the Santa Maria. I'm not sure how much they looked like the ships that came across the Atlantic with the pilgrims, but they seemed just about as old.

When they left the dock, the sky was blue, the wind was brisk, and the teenagers were ready to forge the sea. However, by nightfall, a threatening gale blew in and the rolling waves grew to fifteen foot walls of water, tossing the tiny boats like toys in a toddlers tub.

"Loran," the captain said, "This storm could mean big trouble for us. You're going to have to stay up all night and hold the wheel steady to keep the boat on course."

So all-night, Loran fought the storm. He kept alert. He prayed to the One who calms the seas and kept his eyes on the sailboats in front of him - one of which held two of his most prized possessions, his daughters. Hundreds of times, the boat shot straight into the air and then dashed into the inky water. But, Loran held fast. It was a battle he was determined to win.

In the wee hours of the morning, the wind and rains came to a halt. The storm had passed and once again the boats cut a smooth path across the glassy sea. Everyone was exhausted from the rollicking of the night before, so the team decided to look for a lagoon to drop anchor and rest. One was found, and the three sailing vessels stopped for a few hours of rest and relaxation in the safety of the cove.

Loran jumped in the cool crystal blue water and suddenly realized how tired he was from the struggle of the night before. He turned over on his back, closed his burning eyes, and began to float. Slowly the knots in his neck and back began to unwind and tension escaped from his aching muscles. The noises of the teens playing in the water were soon muffled and the only sound he heard was water splashing against his skin and the occasional call of a sea gull. He was so relaxed he almost drifted off to sleep as his body drifted out to sea.

After some time, Loran looked up and noticed that he had drifted a great distance away from the rest of his party. They were playing happily in the water and had no idea Loran was gone.

"OK, Lord. Help me get back," he prayed.

Loran swam and swam, fighting the water with all his might, but the receding tide was stronger that he was. After what seemed like a lifetime, Loran was still a mile or so from his friends and family.

"Help!" he cried. But no one heard his distant cry.

"Oh God! Don't let me die now."
Somehow, Loran finally made it back to the boat alive. As he lay panting on the deck, he realized a great truth. Over the past twenty-four hours, he had been in great danger two times - once battling the storm and the other drifting out to sea. But of the two, he was in more danger when he was carelessly drifting along than he was when he was alert and standing fast.

Paul tells us in Hebrews 2:1 "For this reason we must pay much closer attention to what we have heard, lest we drift away from it." Carelessly drifting can be a dangerous business, but storms keep us alert and ready at the helm.  We need to stay alert to the enemy's tactics in the storm-times and the calm-times, and be careful not to drift along a current that takes us away from the course of life God has planned. So join me in paying attention today!

Let's Pray

Dear Father, help me to always be alert. I know that the devil roams around like a roaring lion looking for those who are aimlessly drifting through life. He sneaks in when we least expect it. Help me never to get too comfortable with my life that I drift aimless along, but rather keep me alert to the changing winds and tides – holding fast to You in the storms of life and in the calm seasons as well.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Can you think of a time when you were caught off guard by a temptation or by the devil?

What do you think could have made the difference in your ability to see the temptation coming?

How would you describe your spiritual life at the time...alert and on course or drifting?

If this post encouraged you to pay attention during both the calm and chaos, click over to my blog and say, "I'm on guard!"

More from the Girlfriends

Spiritual Warfare is very real. If you would like to learn more about how to take every thought captive and recognize the enemy before he strikes, check out my book, I'm Not Good Enough...and Other Lies Women Tell Themselves. In it you'll learn how to recognize Satan's lies, reject the lies, and replace the lies with truth.

Seeking God?
Click here to find out more about
how to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.

[Judy Harder]

July 17, 2013
Sigh
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth

I leave you peace; my peace I give you. I do not give it to you as the world does. So don't let your hearts be troubled or afraid (John 14:27, NIV).

Friend to Friend

My mother had a special way of dealing with her "tired." Mama sighed.

Mama's sighing reminded me of an old steel pressure cooker she pulled out several times a year. You know - the kind that has a release valve on top. Mama cooked chickens, turkeys and various stews and soups in that pressure cooker. I could tell when the pressure was too high. In fact, everybody within a five-mile radius could tell when the pressure was too high. The valve on top started rattling like a volcano ready to blow. Next came a ridiculously loud whistle – the signal unless somebody turned down the fire, the cooker was going to explode.

Life is a lot like that. So many things make me tired. The pressure builds until I am ready to explode.

People break their promises. Why can't people just do what they say they are going to do? And if they never intended to do it in the first place, why didn't they just keep their mouths shut? They make me tired.

Friends don't come through like I think they should. Aren't we supposed to love and encourage each other instead of use each other to advance a personal agenda? Users make me tired.

Children make decisions that I would never in a million years make and I wonder what in the world they were thinking! My children can make me tired.

Our grandchildren never make me tired. They are perfect.

Financial pressures keep me awake at night. I know God will provide all of our needs, but why does He have to keep it a secret for so long? I just need details. I need to know that everything is going to be okay.

And then I remember that is where faith comes in – and it makes me tired.

I know I am supposed to be this big-time woman of faith. My husband pastors this humongous church for crying out loud. I write books and travel across the world speaking for women's conferences, retreats and events – telling them how to handle all of the things that make them tired.

Physical pain wears me down and I get discouraged. When the doctor looked at me and said, "You have a classic case of fibromyalgia" I looked right back at him and said, "No thank you." He looked at me like I had lost my mind. I did not want to have that disease because it hurts – all the stinkin' time – and nobody seems to have the magic pill that will make it all go away.

And let me just tell you that I am all about "magic pills." I thank God every morning for my drugs. I praise Him as I take my pills for depression, acid reflux disease, low thyroid ... I forget the rest. Maybe there is a pill for that, but I can't get that one yet since I don't have any empty spots left in my pillbox.

Yes, I am thankful for each and every little pill that God has provided through the wisdom He has given doctors, counselors and psychiatrists. But I have to tell you that there are days when I cry out to God and remind Him that all of this junk makes me tired.

And I think of Mama. Was she this tired? I think so – and then some.

Physical – emotional – mental – spiritual weariness are all-too-familiar companions in my very stressed out world. Mama faced different kinds of trials. They made her tired just like my trials make me tired.

And trials – well, they come in all sizes, shapes and kinds. Sometimes it is the little things that get to me. I can't find my car keys. My car battery is dead on the one morning I set aside to run every errand I needed to run for the entire month. I get to the cleaners five minutes after they closed. You know the kind of trials I am talking about. They may not necessarily change the course of life, but they are irritating nonetheless.

Then there are honest-to-goodness trials that kick you in the gut and drop you to your knees. A friend or family member calls in tears, needing comfort because their pathology report came back malignant. Another friend's husband of over 30 years decides he is done, gets in his car and drives away. And that pastor we thought was so godly? He has been having an affair for months while his terminally ill wife lies in a bed at home. A friend is dead because his mentally ill brother shot him in the head and then killed himself. I am not making this stuff up.

Life is hard.

Life is daily.

Life makes me tired.

Sometimes people make me tired. Sometimes circumstances make me tired because I either created them with my own wrong choices, or I have to suffer the consequences of the wrong choices made by other people I love - or worse – wrong choices and absurd decisions made by people I don't even like.

The fact is – we all have someone or something in our lives that make us tired.

What to do?

Take a deep, long breath as you count to ten. Pray as you breathe in, asking God to give you something for your pain. Now let that breath out and fill it with everything that is causing your pain.

There is also the quick sigh – when you gasp in air in to the count of 1.5 seconds and immediately let it explode. Mama sighed like that when people made her angry or when she was frustrated. But it seemed to work for her – both as a way of letting off some steam as well as sending a message to the person who caused Mama's anger.

I have come to see the sighing technique perfected by Mama as a stellar way to deal with everything and everyone that makes me tired.

I breathe in the life-giving power and supernatural control of the Holy Spirit and exhale everything that is not of Him.

Next time you are tired, think about Mama and give it a try.

Let' s Pray

Father, I am tired. I need Your power and supernatural control for every step of every day. Help me learn to fully trust You – even when life is hard.

In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

How would you define the concept of peace in your life? Is your heart and mind filled with chaos and stress instead of peace? Identify the source of stress in your life and make any adjustments necessary to bring that area under control. Write out your own "Peace Treaty" with God and share it with a friend. When you feel as if your life is spinning out of control, remember to rest in Him.

More from the Girlfriends

Need help? Check out Mary's E-Bible Study, God's Answer to Stress, for a message that will help you learn to experience God's peace. And be sure to check out Mary's new weekly Online Bible Study, From a Mess to a Miracle. Enroll now and have access to all 2013 lessons. And be sure to connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

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Girlfriends in God
P.O. Box 725
Matthews, NC 28106
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[Judy Harder]

July 18, 2013
Get Real
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness," (Lamentations 3:19-24 NIV).

Friend to Friend

Are we brave enough to be real and honest with God? We might as well be; He knows our hearts inside and out anyway. A. W. Tozer, in his book, The Knowledge of the Holy, wrote:

How unutterably sweet is the knowledge that our Heavenly Father knows us completely.  No talebearer can inform on us; or enemy can make an accusation stick; no forgotten skeleton can come tumbling out of some hidden closet to abash us and expose our past; no unsuspected weakness in our characters can come to light to turn God away from us, since He knew us utterly before we knew Him and called us to Himself in the full knowledge of everything that was against us.

God knew the real me before I even knew myself. David wrote, "Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD" (Psalm 139:4 NIV). Knowing what He knew and knows, it is a wonder that He even gives me the time of day. And to think, He gives us the time of our lives!

Jeremiah was a mighty man of God who was not afraid to be real before His maker. He wrote, "I am the man who has seen affliction because of the rod of His wrath. He has driven me and made me walk in darkness and not in light. Surely against me He has turned His hand repeatedly all the day. He has caused my flesh and my skin to waste away. He has broken my bones. He has besieged and encompassed me with bitterness and hardship. In dark places He has made me dwell, like those who have long been dead" (Lamentations 3:1-6 NASB).

Jeremiah was mad and he was mad at God. As far as he was concerned, God was the cause of all his problems. He felt trapped and afraid. He continued, "He has walled me in so that I cannot go out; He has made my chain heavy. Even when I cry out and call for help, He shuts out my prayer. He has blocked my ways with hewn stone; He has made my paths crooked. He is to me like a bear lying in wait like a lion in secret places. He has turned aside my ways and torn me to pieces; He has made me desolate...So I say, 'My strength has perished, and so has my hope from the Lord'" (vv.7-11,18 NASB).

Jeremiah was in a bad situation...mostly because he had a wrong perception of God. God did not make him to walk in darkness, cause his flesh to waste away, or break his bones. God had not encompassed him with bitterness or hardship. But Jeremiah had allowed his perception to be skewed by his circumstances.

Even though what Jeremiah had to say was incorrect and certainly painted a bad picture of God, he was able to be real about what he was feeling. Jeremiah did not feel the need to put on a holy mask before an all-knowing God. And you know what? God didn't strike him dead for being real and saying what was on his heart.

Before we leave poor Jeremiah, let's notice what happens at the end of his lament. He begins to remember all the times that God had been faithful. "This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's loving kindnesses... are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I have hope in Him'" (vv. 21-22 NASB).

Jeremiah cleaned the clutter out of his emotional closet and rediscovered the treasures he had forgotten were there. His circumstances didn't change. God didn't change. But his attitude and perception of God changed and his emotions followed close behind.

We can learn two lessons from Jeremiah in this passage.

Number 1: We don't need to be afraid to be real with God.

Number 2: When we're disappointed with our circumstances, we need to remember all the times God has been faithful, and practice praise, gratitude and thanksgiving to get us out of our hissy fit.

Let's Pray

Dear LORD, sometimes I whine and complain and blame You for all sorts of trouble in my life.  The truth is, I live in a fallen world where bad things happen and I make poor decisions. Help me to remember that Your ways are always loving and faithful (Psalm 25:10). Help me to recall Your great deeds in my life! Thank you that Your mercies are new every morning!  Great is Your faithfulness!

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Have you been complaining to God about your circumstances lately?

Have you been blaming God for the difficult circumstances and forgetting to praise Him for the blessings?

Stop right now and offer up a prayer of praise to God for all the wonderful deeds He has performed in your life. The gift of eternal life would be a great place to start.

As an exercise of gratitude, click over to my blog page and tell me the date (year) you accepted God's gift of salvation and made Jesus Lord of your life.

More from the Girlfriends

Today's devotion was adapted from my book: Your Scars are Beautiful to God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Life. The Bible says, "Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story," (Psalm 107:2). There is unspeakable joy that bubbles up when a child of God takes off her mask and is real with the world about all that God has done in her life. As a matter of fact, it is so powerful the devil will do everything he can to stop you from doing so. How I love Revelation 12:11, "They overcame him (the devil) by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony." Let's get real and overcome!

[Judy Harder]

July 19, 2013
Healer of the Broken
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." Psalm 147:3

Friend to Friend

I love my girlfriends. I love doing life with friends who "get me." I love having tangles of conversations over hot coffee that are stranded together with light-hearted laughter, rich revelations, loads of love, treasures of time and gobs of grace.

Though sharing beautiful life-moments is always fun, some of the most powerful blessings of friendship for me have been found in broken places. In the trenches. Those places where our troubles and fears scream loudly and long to be quieted by the understanding heart of a friend. Times when we rise up to encourage one another with God's promises, share reminders of His truth, extend challenges to believe, offer prayers for problems and speak hope to a sister who's hurting.

A few years ago, after a long conversation with a girlfriend who was in a painfully broken place, I was burdened. Heavily. Her shared-pain had become my pain. I ached for her to experience the hope of Christ in and through her hurt. Though she knew the Lord, she felt like her prayers were falling on deaf divine ears. She needed me to listen, to cry with her and to take her right back to Jesus. As I prayed for my friend and considered her burdens, I was inspired to write a song of encouragement. I later co-wrote a song with her in mind.

I'm not sure where this message of hope finds you. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that God cares and that He is compassionate. Sometimes we just need to be reminded that God sees us, knows us, hears us and loves us. That He is faithful, powerful and never wastes a hurt. Perhaps you need a word of encouragement today. Perhaps you know a friend who needs this word. The best thing we can do for our friends is to love them and point them to Jesus.

The song I co-wrote is called Healer of the Broken. Read the lyric and then click the link below to listen to the song.

Healer Of The Broken

by Gwen Smith and Sue C. Smith

Oh wounded heart
My hurting friend
Desperate and afraid
You're not invisible
Someone knows the pain you're in
You can run to Him

The Healer of the broken
The friend to every sinner
Who knows the sorrow of each scar
Every time you call on
The Savior who is waiting
He will meet you where you are
And heal your broken heart

He knows your name
Each midnight fear
When you try to hide
Or fight for one more breath
Love will be your safe retreat
He will give you peace

In every valley
In every pain
Jesus is with you
Just call His name
Call His name

Turn on your speakers and CLICK HERE to listen to the song Healer of the Broken.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, Thank you for reminding me that You hear the cries of your children and that You are a God who loves to bring beauty to our broken. Please meet me where I am today and give me the grace to grow through these trials.

In Jesus' Name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

Galatians 6:2 tells us to, "bear one another's burdens." What or who comes to mind as you read this?

Read and contemplate the following Scripture passage: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted." (Psalm 34:18) How does this make you feel?

More From The Girlfriends
30 Day Summer Psalm Adventure:How would you like to join your girlfriends and thousands of other women in a FREE interactive Bible study? If you are ready to go deeper with God by searching and savoring His Word, click over to the 30 Day Summer Psalm Adventure sign up page on Gwen's website and register today!

The song Healer of the Broken is featured on Gwen's Uncluttered CD. You can download the song from iTunes or Amazon– or order her CDs on www.GwenSmith.net.

[Judy Harder]

July 22, 2013
The Cost of Friendship
Mary Southerland

Today's Truth
But Ruth replied, "Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go, I will go, and where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me." When Naomi realized that Ruth was determined to go with her, she stopped urging her (Ruth 1:16-18, NIV).

Friend to Friend
Friendship is the catalyst for every other love and the foundation of every healthy relationship. God created us to need each other. We need friends and we need to be a friend.

The emotional demands on women are vast. One of the ways God replenishes the emotional drains we experience is through friendships. Many women are convinced that the risk of having close friends outweighs the rewards. I disagree. There is no love without risk. Every friendship must contain the element of risk if it is to grow and mature, reaching its full potential.

Ruth was willing to risk her very future for the sake of her friendship with Naomi. John 15:13 says it well: "Greater love has no one than this; that one lay down his life for his friends." When we choose to lay down our lives in friendship, we automatically take a chance on being hurt, rejected, betrayed or misunderstood.

Anyone who knows me also knows that living foliage is doomed to die a premature death if left in my care for any length of time. I have even been known to kill a plant without touching it. In fact, the only hope any plant of mine has to live past its purchase date is for me to ignore its existence and pray for rain. I am certain you can understand why I am in awe of anyone who gardens and is actually capable of growing green things.

I once had a neighbor who was known for her green thumb. In fact, everyone in our small Mississippi town knew that the most beautiful roses were found in Joyce's back yard. It was in that same yard where I learned an important lesson about friendship.

Every afternoon, after taking their naps, I took our two children, Jered and Danna, outside to play in our fenced-in back yard. While the kids enjoyed the fresh air, neighborhood friends, and their swing set, I enjoyed visiting with Joyce. Most of our conversations took place over the vine-covered fence and her dazzling rose garden.

After weeks of watching Joyce plant, prune, water, feed, talk and even sing to her "Rose Babies," I noticed she never handled the roses without wearing thick gloves to protect her hands from thorns. One day, our conversation abruptly halted when she yanked her hand into the air and yelled, "Ouch!" The culprit was a thorn. When I asked why she insisted on growing roses instead of some safer and less prickly foliage, her answer was profound. "The beauty of the roses is worth the occasional wound they inflict," she replied. Joyce had learned to handle the roses with respect and in such a way that her wounds were few. Friendships are much the same.

Friends will hurt you. Friends will wound you. We would be wise to don thick emotional gloves when it comes to handling friendships.

It is a disastrous mistake to assign the responsibility for our happiness to friends. The truth is that depending on a friend to make us happy sets that friend up for failure in the relationship and positions that friendship for inevitable destruction.

I have a friend who simply cannot keep a secret. She would do anything in the world for me – except keep her mouth closed. Because I love her and don't want to write her off as a friend, I have simply chosen to be cautious about what I share with her. Every friendship has a price tag of some kind attached. We just need to get to the place where love covers the cost.

The words of 1 Peter 4:8 say it well, "Love covers a multitude of sins." In this verse, "cover" literally means to "hide" or "overlook" the faults. Friendship knows the weaknesses are there, but chooses to love anyway. Friendship is always costly but it is always well worth the cost.

Let's Pray

Father, You are the most faithful and most precious friend I will ever have. Teach me how to develop friendships that reflect your unconditional love and continual forgiveness. In Jesus' name,

Amen.

Now It's Your Turn

What is the greatest hindrance to friendship in your life?
What has been the greatest reward of friendship in your life?
Are you willing to take the risk of cultivating intimate friendships and of being a true friend? Explain.
Make a list of your closest friends and then picture life without them. What would that picture look like?
Make a specific plan this week to invest time in the life of a friend.

More From The Girlfriends
Looking for a Bible Study that is both practical and powerful? Check out Mary's E-Book Bible Studies. Each one includes a study guide that you can download for your personal use or for a small group study. I Need a Friend is available in Bible Study format.

And be sure to take a look at Mary's new weekly Online Bible Study, From a Mess to a Miracle. Enroll now and have access to all 2013 lessons. And be sure to connect with Mary on Facebook or through email.

[Judy Harder]

July 23, 2013
S&H Greenback Stamp Redemption
Sharon Jaynes

Today's Truth

"Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.' He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit,"(Galatians 3:13, 14 NIV).

Friend to Friend

If I think about it long enough, I can almost taste the sickly sweet glue on the tip of my tongue. Yes, the childhood ritual of licking and sticking S & H Greenback Stamps into books is forever glued in my memory's scrapbook.

When I was a little girl, my mother did her grocery shopping at White's Supermarket on the corner of Tarboro Street and Pearl. Oh sure, there were other grocery stores around, but White's gave out S & H Greenback Stamps with every purchase. On shopping days, I watched as the cashier rang up my momma's purchases, pulling a lever with each entry. My mom's eyes lit up every time she heard the cha-ching, knowing that meant more stamps. When the total was tallied, the cash register spit out a stream of stamps, both large and small. We never put the stamps in books right away. Mom stuffed them in a brown paper bag and waited until we could make a whole day of it.

About every six months, mom pulled a brown bag swollen with S & H Greenback Stamps down from a shelf. She spilled its contents on a table and announced, "OK Sharon, it's time to paste the stamps."

For hours it was lick, stick, lick, stick, lick, stick. Large stamps represented dollars spent and only three filled a page. Small stamps represented cents spent and 30 filled a page. I liked doing the dollars.

After six months of collecting stamps and six hours of pasting them in the books, my mom and I excitedly drove down to the S & H Greenback Stamp Redemption Center. With arms heavy laden, we plopped our day's work on the clerk's desk.

"Whatcha goina get?" I'd ask as we strolled up and down the aisles of house wares.

"I don't know, honey," my mom would reply. "But it'll be something good."

After much consternation, mom would decide on a treasure such as an electric can opener, or a steam iron, or a shiny set of stainless steel mixing bowls. Oh, it was an exciting day to make a trip to the S & H Greenback Redemption Center and trade in our stamps for a special prize.

Have you ever noticed there are some Christianese words we repeat often, but have difficulty explaining? I think redemption is one of those words. But as a child, because of my visits to the S & H Greenback Redemption Center, I understood "redemption."  It meant to trade something in for something else, to take my stamps and trade them in (redeem them) for a prize – for something valuable. And that's exactly what it means.

Jesus Christ traded in His life to redeem mine. Listen to what these two passages have to say:

Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: 'Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree.' Heredeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit, (Galatians 3:13, 14 NIV).

For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect,  (I Peter 1:18,19 NIV).

Jesus traded in His life so that you and I could receive ours. To Him, you and I were the prize – the treasure. But that's not all. He's made it possible for me to do a little bit of trading as well. I've traded in my pain for purpose, my hurt for hope, my mess for my message, my worry for trust, my soul sickness for spiritual health, my shame for forgiveness, my captivity for freedom, and the list goes on. What an abundance of treasures – much more valuable than an electric can opener or set of mixing bowls.

Let's Pray

Dear Lord, thank You for redeeming me! I have traded in my mourning for laughter, my weeping for rejoicing, my sickness for healing, my guilt for freedom, my sin for righteousness, my fear for faith, my weakness for Your strength, my insecurity for Your boldness, my inadequacies for Your supply. What a deal!

In Jesus' Name...the One Who made it all possible,

Amen!

Now It's Your Turn

Do you need to do a little trading of your own? Do you need to make a trip to God's redemption center?

What would you like to trade in today? Click over to my blog page and tell me at least one negative you are trading in today. Feel free to list as many as you like.

More from the Girlfriends

You ready to do a little trading? My book, Your Scars are Beautiful to God: Finding Peace and Purpose in the Hurts of Your Past, will show you how to use what you've gone through for good. Friend, don't waste your sorrows. God has a perfect plan for you to turn the ashes of past hurts and mistakes into a thing of beauty.