Old Harold

Started by Warph, August 10, 2008, 11:55:48 PM

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Warph



   Harold was an old man. He was sick and in the hospital. There was one
   young  nurse that just drove him crazy.

   Every time she came in, she would talk to him like he was a little
   child.  She would say in a patronizing tone of voice, "And how are we doing
   this morning, or are we ready for a bath, or are we hungry?"

   Old Harold had had enough of this particular nurse. One day, Old
   Harold had breakfast, pulled the juice off the tray, and put it on his
   bedside stand. He had been given a urine bottle to fill for testing. The
   juice was  apple juice.  So .. you know where the juice went!

   The nurse came in a little later,  picked up the urine bottle and looked at it.
    "My, but it seems we are a little cloudy today ."

   At this, Old Harold snatched the bottle out of her hand, popped off
   the top, and drank it down, saying, "Well, I'll run it through again.
   Maybe I  can filter it better this time."

   The nurse fainted! . . Old Harold just smiled!

        DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS !!!!
"Every once in a while I just have a compelling need to shoot my mouth off." 
--Warph

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all."
-- Warph

"A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."

heather_tyler_2014

wow that reminds me of something my grandpa would do lol  :)
Sword with a double edged blade...it'll cut you either way.

Teresa

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical.  All
his tests come back showing normal results.  The doctor
said, "George, everything looks great.  How are you doing
mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with God?"

George replied, "God and I are tight.  He knows I have
poor eyesight and he's fixed it so when I get up in the
middle of the night to go to the bathroom, "POOF"! the
light goes on.  When I'm finished, "POOF" the light goes
off."

Later in the day the doctor called George's wife, Ethel,
and said, "George is doing fine, but I had to call you
because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.  Is it
true that when he gets up during the night, the light goes
on in the bathroom and when he's finished the light goes
off?"

"Oh Lord help me! said Ethel, "he's peeing in the
refrigerator again!"
Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History !

aamiller321

Quote from: Teresa on August 15, 2008, 11:47:40 PM
An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for a physical.  All
his tests come back showing normal results.  The doctor
said, "George, everything looks great.  How are you doing
mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with God?"

George replied, "God and I are tight.  He knows I have
poor eyesight and he's fixed it so when I get up in the
middle of the night to go to the bathroom, "POOF"! the
light goes on.  When I'm finished, "POOF" the light goes
off."

Later in the day the doctor called George's wife, Ethel,
and said, "George is doing fine, but I had to call you
because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.  Is it
true that when he gets up during the night, the light goes
on in the bathroom and when he's finished the light goes
off?"

"Oh Lord help me! said Ethel, "he's peeing in the
refrigerator again!"

Lol! :D :D :D
The day that you don't enjoy running around like a kid is the day you begin to die.

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