Cap Guns & kids.

[Teresa]

Even back when Derek was a sophomore.. They almost expelled him form school permanently  for having a "potato gun" in his back seat of his LOCKED car.. parked out in the parking lot.
The crazies called the sheriff and they all acted like Barney Fife at their first crime scene..
My god, it was ridiculous.

[Diane Amberg]

I know it's so hard to find a middle ground on these things. We have similar problems too. No matter which way you go somebody is unhappy. It's either handled too leniently or too harshly.

[pam]

I remember when I was growin up almost everybody had a rifle, a rope, and one of those little cow whips hangin in the back window of the truck lol. And you didn't think anything about drivin to school with em. or anywhere else for that matter. First time grandad let me go rabbit huntin by myself I think I was like 10 or 11, he counted the shells in the .22 and told me I better bring back somthin for every one I used lol.

Everybody carried a pocketknife and hell half the time got em out in class to do somthin and nobody ever got cut or stabbed I still carry two in my purse cause I USE em! Never think about it till I see a sign about you can't have guns or knives here

Think the problem nowadays is the whole guns kill people line people been spoutin, the more urban the world becomes the farther removed from common sense it gets. The lack of personal responsibility in this country just boggles my mind sometimes. Always blame it on somthin else, "the gun did it, the movie I watched made me do it, the video game warped my mind, the MUSIC made me do it " " Oh it's cause I'm poor, My moms a crackhead" I'm sorry but you don't live in a vacuum dude, you can't not know there is another way to live. It's lack of raisin and lack of bein taught that if you are gonna dance you are gonna HAVE to pay the band sooner or later that makes em think they can get away with doin it Lack of bein taught " Hey it's a movie, game, cartoon, song etc. It's MAKE_BELIEVE not real life!"

But that's just my soapbox tirade for the day lol, your opinion may differ 

People really need to get a grip

[Mom70x7]

When Marshal and I was in Missouri last week,  we were just poking around in a an old five and dime store, there was a small boy about 6 years old.. he wanted a cap gun that used the roll caps. His mother( who was about 30) vehemently said NO.. he was NOT having any kind of gun..and she walked around the corner.. Well his grandma was standing there and she and I locked eyes..and I kinda sadly shook my head and sighed..and I walked by the little boy ( who was holding this gun and looking at it) and kinda ruffled his hair and smiled at him.. and then looked back at his grandma..
I moved down the aisle  and was looking at some things and she said.. " you can have the gun. " her daughter came around the corner and said,"No Mother.. he CAN NOT have the gun". I will not have any kind of gun in my house. "
The grandma looked at her and said.. "He can have the gun and play with it at my house and leave it at my house". 
The little boy smiled so big at his grandma and his mom with that look of "can I for real have this?" look.
The young mother looked at her mother and said" well he has to keep it at your house"

You know - I see a very different issue here. Ignore, please, the topic of guns for a moment.

What I see is a mother saying no and another adult (in this case grandma) teaching the six-year-old that you don't have to obey your parents, there are ways around mom to get what you want.

I think there'll be trouble in that house later on, when mom says no on another topic and the little boy knows he can go some place else and ignore mom's teachings.

Whether mom is right or wrong isn't the issue.
The issue is she should be able to decide the rules for her children.

Anyone else bothered by this aspect?     

[srkruzich]

When Marshal and I was in Missouri last week,  we were just poking around in a an old five and dime store, there was a small boy about 6 years old.. he wanted a cap gun that used the roll caps. His mother( who was about 30) vehemently said NO.. he was NOT having any kind of gun..and she walked around the corner.. Well his grandma was standing there and she and I locked eyes..and I kinda sadly shook my head and sighed..and I walked by the little boy ( who was holding this gun and looking at it) and kinda ruffled his hair and smiled at him.. and then looked back at his grandma..
I moved down the aisle  and was looking at some things and she said.. " you can have the gun. " her daughter came around the corner and said,"No Mother.. he CAN NOT have the gun". I will not have any kind of gun in my house. "
The grandma looked at her and said.. "He can have the gun and play with it at my house and leave it at my house". 
The little boy smiled so big at his grandma and his mom with that look of "can I for real have this?" look.
The young mother looked at her mother and said" well he has to keep it at your house"

You know - I see a very different issue here. Ignore, please, the topic of guns for a moment.

What I see is a mother saying no and another adult (in this case grandma) teaching the six-year-old that you don't have to obey your parents, there are ways around mom to get what you want.

I think there'll be trouble in that house later on, when mom says no on another topic and the little boy knows he can go some place else and ignore mom's teachings.

Whether mom is right or wrong isn't the issue.
The issue is she should be able to decide the rules for her children.

Anyone else bothered by this aspect?     

Not really you know.  I often overrode my ex's decision when she was being unfair.  First of all, this mother wasn't teaching she was freaking.  IF she had been teaching she would have explained why she didn't want the toy in her house so that the child would understand.
Grandma understood what was going on here and made it possible that the boy could have something like that when he was at her house which is her jurisdiction and under her rules.  Mom got her way of no toys in the house and Grandma showed fairness and a whole lot of wisdom in her decision.

Obedience is not taught over a toy. Honestly that would be just plain cruel.  You teach obedience in things like requriing them to answer when you call, requiring them to come to you the first time you call them not the 10th.  things like that. 
Using toys to require obedience is extreme.  Pick your battles.  LOL your going to have to with kids.  You can rule with a iron fist and beat the heck out of them for disobedience, and all you will get are sad fearful children.  IF you use some intellegence, allow the children to make their own mistakes UNLESS it interferes with their future or it is detrimental to their health or life, or if its defiant to adults. Those three things i would demand instant obedience.  The rest in life can be used as a good lesson to teach with. 

Honestly this mother passed up a wonderful teaching method for her child that would have possibly saved her childs life.  As it is this child is interested in guns right.  So next time this child is over at joes house and joes dad has his .357 sitting in his nightstand, this child is most likely going to say kool let me see.  IF mother had of used the toy as a teaching aid, or even gotten her son a bb gun, then it could have taught the child hey its a weapon its a tool and it can kill. 

We as parents and yes i made a lot of mistakes, don't utilize the tools God gives us to prepare our kids. Shoot, everythign can be used as a teaching lesson.

[Teresa]

Thank you.. You just said what I was going to say.. but in a much better way.

The same can be not only said for guns but anything that "has an allure" to it.

We always had Playboy magazine around the house. It was in the magazine stand along with Guns and Ammo, Sports Afield, Good Housekeeping, Readers Digest and National Geographic.
The boys could pick up any or all or none of the magazines any time that they wanted to to read the articles or look at the pictures.  We also didn't freak out about nudity in our house. The bathroom door was always knocked on..but generally if the boys needed something or needed to talk ( invariably when I was in the bath tub or shower  They  came in an it was no big dea to anyone of us.
I remember when Danny came home form School once and told me that some boys got in trouble for having some nude magazines in the locker room. I ask him what kind of trouble they got into.( they meaning "he" and all of them) .
He informed me that "he" wasn't in on it. he said he looked at  them briefly, but it was no big deal to him, so he went
on in and took a shower.
he then ask me .. " Why does everyone make a big deal out of naked bodies mom?"
I said, "Beat me Honey.. Boobs and Butts are parts of the bodies.. no different than any other part.. they are just the parts that are covered up.. LOL "
he just shook his head and walked off.

So I knew then that I was doing good with the openness of not making anything a "big deal".

Guns, . naked bodies.. whatever.. take away the allure with good teaching behind it and you shouldn't have a problem.

[pam]

"Guns, . naked bodies.. whatever.. take away the allure with good teaching behind it and you shouldn't have a problem. "


Wise words!

[Jane]

I have to agree with Mom 70x7. When we as parents say no to our children no one should over ride that decision. As far a it being an X Wife that is a different problem.
When our daughter was growing up, my husband and I always worked together on what she could have,not have or do. We had a great Grandmother that would always ask us,not overide us if Rachael wanted something.
Army Mom

[pam]

Actually everybody on this thread has a valid point. It's not an either or kinda subject. Granma probly should of went with Mom but Mom needs to get a grip and a realistic view of guns. I have a daughter-in-law who is like that about guns, I don't understand it, but that's my sons battle to fight for his daughter not mine. I have guns and I try to ease her into stuff just because I think she just hasn't been around any actually. She's a pretty good gal and I figure she'll come around lol. Some people just gotta force the issue tho, dont make them wrong, just goin about it in a not so good way.

I'm like Teresa, one of the lessons I learned early on as a parent or as a kid for that matter is the more off-limits you make it the more attractive it seems to be, give em enough rope to explore and they aren't gonna get too far out.

[Jane]

A friend of mine sent this to us.
Now think about this:

Guns:

(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000   (Yes, that's 80 million..)

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths

per year, all age groups, is 1,500

(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is  .000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI

So, statistically, doctors are approximately

9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.

Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, Doctors do.'

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,

BUT  ALMOST EVERYONE HAS A DOCTOR