Cindy's Hungar Strike

[Warph]

As you may or may not know, Cindy Sheehan is still currently engaged in a hunger strike to protest the War in Iraq.  Despite her weakened state, the Peace Mom has agreed to answer one question from her mail bag.



Dear Cindy:

How is your hunger strike going? I've been thinking of going on one as well, but I like to eat so much!  How are you getting by?

Heavy Fannie in Hartford, Ct.


Dear Heavy Fannie:

I began a hunger strike on The Day that the Great Satan was born, known to the ignorant masses as the Fourth of July. I am doing it to protest the war in Iraq, but also because it was requiring an entire precinct of cops to carry me away from protests.  This upset many of my Code Pink comrades since I was taking the attention of all the cops, leaving them un-arrested.  Also the cops who carried me away usually required extensive rest afterwards (or in some cases medical attention).  I am a selfless woman; I do not want my girth to deprive the others of the full protest experience.

When I was in Venezuela, Hugo Chavez told me I was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.  He called me Evita, which made my travel companion Medea quite angry.

Anyway, the hunger strike is going well. As you may know, I do allow myself to consume liquids, and occasionally mix in some protein to keep myself going.  I originally kept myself to just some fruit drinks with protein powder, but then expanded it to include chocolate milk shakes and melted Cheese Wiz.  The trick with the Cheese Wiz is that as it cools it loses its liquid status, so you have to wolf it down pretty quickly.  This is inconvenient, but then I think of George Bush, and it makes the melted cheese go down much easier.

I've also discovered that McDonalds will puree a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese if you ask them.  It's an acquired taste, sort of like a Meat Milkshake, but it's a whole lot more fulfilling than the god forsaken parsley and spinach shakes that that skinny twit Medea makes every day.

The one real challenge of this liquid-only diet is blender-capacity. I've burned through a couple in just a few weeks!  So now, instead of a blender, I've rented a wood chipper, and it's really expanded my liquid portfolio.  Just last night, I blended 2 pounds of provolone, 4 honey-glazed hams, a couple jars of peanut butter and a dozen eggs and VIOLA!  I had enough liquid to keep going for a week.

You should try a liquid diet if you want to lose weight. In fact, why don't you come to my place?  Let me know, OK?

Love Cindy

P.S. Just how fat are you?

[pam]

Dude, the woman lost her son and her mind, geez. Bad karma

[Teresa]

'Specially her mind!~~