My Mother taught me.................

[Teresa]

My Mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
"If you're going to kill each other do it outside, I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION:
"You'd better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY:
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM:
"Will you just look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA:
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER:
"It looks as if a tornado swept throught your room!"

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS:
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION:
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE:
"I brought you into this world and I can take you out".

My mother taught me about ENVY:
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

[heather_tyler_2014]

wow.............................lol that is hilarious i think i've heard every one of these (my mother taught me)lol teresa

[Tobina+1]

I've got a couple, too...

"If your friend jumped off a building would you do it, too?"

"You'd argue with me if I told you the sun comes up in the East!"

[Lookatmeknow!!]

  I find myself telling this to my kids all the time!!!!

[Tobina+1]

Oh, thought of another one...

"Your ears are so dirty, you could grow a potato in them!"

[indygal]

Here's the lesson my mom taught me about money:

"I wouldn't trade you for a million dollars or give a nickel for another one like you!"