You Will Laugh Out Loud

[Judy Harder]

The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while sh e was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.


'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

The nun fainted...........

[frawin]

Judy, that is BADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD, but a good one.
Frank

[Lookatmeknow!!]

That is just to funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Teresa]

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they
spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.  Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to
coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on
Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he
decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However , he accidentally left out one
letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her
husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following
a heart attack. The widow decided to check her e-mail expecting messages from
relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and
fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the
floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me.  They have computers here now and
you're allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.  I've just arrived and have
checked in.  I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!!!  I hope your journey is as uneventful as mine
was.

P.S.  Sure is hot down here!

[Teresa]

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was
flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to
the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"

"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My
problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken
to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to
keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo
for me?  I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered
into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their
seat belts. Off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San
Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down
the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement
of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran
over to the blonde. What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I
gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo!"

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde," but we had money left over,so
now we're going to Sea World."

[flo]

I laughed out loud at both of them 

[Teresa]

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to
verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at
home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home
and come back later.

The woman said 'Unbutton your shirt.'

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver
hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social
Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten
disability, too.'