Medical Insurance Explained

[Warph]

MEDICAL  INSURANCE EXPLAINED 
(Research done by the AARP Legal Department)


Q. What does HMO stand for?

A. This is actually a variation of the phrase ,  "HEY  MOE."   Its roots go back to a
concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient
could be made to forget the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eye.


Q. I just joined an Arizona HMO.  How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

A. Just  slightly more difficult than choosing your parents.  Your insurer will provide you
with a book listing all the doctors in the plan.  The  doctors basically fall into two
categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see
you but are no longer participating in the plan . But don't worry, the remaining doctor
who is still in the plan and  accepting new patients has an office just 2 day's drive away
somewhere in northern New Mexico.


Q. Do all diagnostic procedures  require  pre-certification?

A. No. Only those you need.


Q.  Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

A.  Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.


Q.  What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

A.  You'll  need to find alternative forms of payment.


Q. My  pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.
I  tried the generic medication, but it gave me a  stomach ache. What should I do?

A. Poke yourself in the eye.


Q. What if I'm away from home and I  get sick?

A. You really shouldn't do that.


Q.  I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem.
Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in  his/her office?

A.  Hard  to say, but, considering that all you're risking is the $20 co-payment, there's
no harm in giving it a shot .


Q.  Will health care be different in  the next decade?

A.  No, but if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.




To Your Good Health (because as you see, you'll need it!)

[flo]

  and that about sums it up.

[Diane Amberg]

HA!