The Ranch Hand

Started by Warph, April 17, 2008, 02:23:01 AM

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Warph

A successful Kansas rancher died and left everything to his devoted
wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very
little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She
thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to
hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have himaround the house than
the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put inlong hours every day and
knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then
one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really
good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels."

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One
o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two o'clock and no hired hand.
Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found
the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it off,"
she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots." He
did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks." He removed each
gently and placed them neatly by her boots. "Now take off my skirt." He
slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. "Now
take off my bra." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and
dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town
again, you're fired."

(P.S. I didn't see it coming, either.)
"Every once in a while I just have a compelling need to shoot my mouth off." 
--Warph

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all."
-- Warph

"A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."

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