Taco Bell Dialog

[Teresa]

You will all get a kick out of this the $2
Bill. Everyone should start carrying them! I think we need to quit
saving our $2
bills and bring them out in public. We could have a lot of fun! The
younger
generation doesn't know they exist.

STORY: On my way home from work, I stopped
at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are a $50 bill and
a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not
have to worry about any one getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."

Server: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?" Me: "No, it's to go."
At this point, I open my billfold and hand
him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Server: "Uh, hang on a sec,
I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot.
The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager: "No... A what?"

Server: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager: "Ask for something else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill."

Server: "Yeah, thought so." He comes back to me and says,
"We don't take these.Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Server: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Server: "Yeah."

Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Server: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been
watching me like I'm a shoplifter,
and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Server: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get
change"

Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Server: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."
Server: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Server: "No way! This is weird.
I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says,
"I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill."

Manager: "We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."
Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."

Me: "Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?"
At this point, he backs away from me and
calls mall security on the phone around the corner. I have two people
staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for
effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"
Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying
to give me some (pause) funny money."
Guard: "No kidding! What?"

Manager: "Get this.... A two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake
a two dollar bill?"
Manager: "I don't know.... He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing
he has
is a fifty."
Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"
Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is.."

Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar
bill?"
Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of
here?"
Guard: "Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some
fake bills you're trying to use."

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."
Me: "Why?"

Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in
here?"
At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat,
so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with
this two dollar bill. I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches
like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes
the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike,
what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."
Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard: "Yeah?"

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him
like he's an idiot, and it dawns on
the guy that he has no clue..
So, it turns out that my burrito was free,
and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two
dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got
the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail.
You get free food there, too.

Just think...those two will be voting soon........................................

[flo]

This kinda goes with an experience during our "sister weekend".  We had lunch after arriving and checking into the motel.  It was approximately 1:00 p.m.  The waitress brought our menu's and announced "I hope you're the last customers".    I replied "I beg your pardon?" and she began to tell us how overworked and tired she was.  I personally wanted to tell her that the last people she waited on were her last customers and walk out but kept my mouth shut so as not to embarress my sisters.  After WAITING she finally came back to take our order, brought the food, which left a lot to be desired, and plopped down our one check and that was it.  No coming back to see if we needed anything or if everything was okay.  When we got ready to pay, the first sister said "okay, I had so and so" - this waitress slammed down the check and got out her calculator to figure Susie's bill.  It was 6.49 so Susie gave it 7.00.  SHE SUBTRACTED ON THE CALCULATOR HOW MUCH CHANGE.    but she was so upset that she couldn't even punch the right numbers (as if everyone couldn't subtract that in their head).  I, under my breath but loud enough for her to hear, said "I think we'll eat somewhere else tonite".  She asked what I said and I repeated myself THEN we went into this long description of how over worked she was, how tired she was, it was time for her to be off duty and she wasn't finished yet, blah blah blah.  Susie explained we all have bad days, but that didn't excuse her rudeness to her customers.  That didn't sit well with her either.  Long story, shorter, we didn't eat there anymore.   

P.S. her tip was very very very small 

[Lookatmeknow!!]

We have been payed for eggs with a 2 dollar bill, so we showed the girls so that they knew what they were.  But I loved getting them when I was a kid.  I can't believe that someone actually didn't know what a 2 dollar bill was.    To funny!!!

Flo, I wouldn't have kept my mouth shut.  I am sorry, I have worked several long shifts waiting tables, and cooking and you never treat customers that way.  I might have even walked out without paying, I know that is wrong but, she was wrong to be so rude.  Also, when I was waiting tables in Pittsburg, the pay was only 2.10 an hour, plus tips.  So, if you wanted to make any money you had to be on the ball or no tips for you.  I would average 30.00 on slow nights and that was in 4 hours, and on weekends it would be around 60.00-75.00, so you know this girl has no idea what she is doing!!!!!

[greatguns]

Flo, Flo, Flo, what were you thinking!  You should have left her a healthy tip as I'm sure she is really going to need it  because she should soon be out of a job.

[Teresa]

I never NOT leave a tip.. but I will leave a penny tip if the service is bad. or 5 pennies...
but I think it gets the point across. 
If the service is good, I always leave a 15-20% tip.