A few thoughts making the rounds

[W. Gray]

Can one cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's the extra penny going?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you in a movie, but you're on TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Can a hearse with a lone driver carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs.

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? 

[Teresa]

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

sniff sniff
But I like my toast almost burnt..   

and I'm a decent human being..
WWWAHHHHH

[Wilma]

But we all know you are weird, Ms. T., don't we?

[Teresa]

MAMA WILMA!! 

You are as mean to me as TaTa 

[Wilma]

Me and Ta Ta, two of a kind.