TEE HEE's for election year

[Diane Amberg]

For shame!

[Judy Harder]

"Tough Choice"
The Democratic Party has a crisis of monumental proportions -- They don't know whether to vote for the "nut" with two boobs or the "boob" with two nuts.

[frawin]

Judy, I love it. That is a classic.
Frank

[Judy Harder]

Almost Identical

Students were assigned to read 2 books, "Titanic" & "My Life" by Bill
Clinton. One smart ass student turned in the following book report, with
the proposition that they were nearly identical stories ! His cool
professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99

Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and
subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let's not go there.

Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica's forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn't remember Jack.

Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either.

Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hilary...basically the same thing

[Teresa]

After escaping from her overly controlling campaign manager for the evening, Hillary Clinton sneaked off to visit a fortune teller of some local repute.
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year just after you lose the election.'

Then the soothsayer looked up and locked eyes with Hillary, who was visibly shaken at this news.
Hillary stared back at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her shaking hands.

She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She looked back, deep into the fortune teller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her the big question: "Will I be acquitted?"

[W. Gray]

Hillary bounces back and wins the Democratic nomination and is elected President.

It is three a.m. at the White House and the phone rings.

Hillary, still muttering she is ready from day one, springs up ready to go and answers.

A squeaky feminine voice on the other end says, "Is Billy back yet, I need to talk to him."

[Teresa]

Folks . . . we have a WINNER!  "Illegal Alien counterfeit ID of the week"

This is an actual driver's license presented by an illegal alien:

[Teresa]

[Teresa]