DIFFERENCES

[T. Sackett]

Differences Between Women and Men:

1.  NAMES
     If Rebecca, Linda, Anna and Jeanne go out for lunch, they will call each other Rebecca, Linda, Anna and Jeanne.  If Mark, Harold, Dave of Rob go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

2.  EATING OUT
     When the bill arrives, Mark, Harold, Dave and Rob will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. when the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3.  MONEY
     A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.

4.  BATHROOMS
     A man has five items in his bathroom; a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom in 337.  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5.  ARGUMENTS
     A woman has the last word in any argument.  Anything a man says after that...is the beginning of a new argument.

6.  CATS
     Women love cats.  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

7.  FUTURE
     A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.  A man never worries about the future unti he gets a wife.

8.  SUCCESS
     A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9.  MARRIAGE
     A woman married a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. 

10.  DRESSING UP
     A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.  A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11.  NATURAL
     Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.  Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12.  OFFSPRING
     Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist, appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.  A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13.  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
     All married men should forget their mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

[Bonnie M.]

How true it is!  I especially enjoyed the one about dividing up the lunch bill!  That's the way it's done, for sure!