Husband's Advice

[Dale Smith]

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. 


If  you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of  toilet  paper and rub it between them for a few seconds." 


Willing  to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and stand in  front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. 


"How  long will this take?" I asked. 


They  will grow larger over a period of years," my husband replies. 


I  stopped. 


"Do  you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts  every day will make my breasts larger over the years?"   

Without  missing a beat he says "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"   

He's  still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again  although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.   

Stupid,  stupid man. 

[Diane Amberg]

He definitely had a death wish.