Giggles for 2008

[frawin]

  TERESA !!

[Teresa]

Three old mischievous Grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.

About then an old Grandpa walked by, and one of the old Grandma's yelled out saying,
"We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There ain't no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas then asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, "How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, all three old ladies happily cackled and yelled in unison --
"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"

[Lookatmeknow!!]

That is just TOOO!!! FUNNNYYYYY!!!

[Judy Harder]

A dog is truly a man's best friend.


If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.


Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.


When you open the trunk,........... which one is really happy to see you?

[Teresa]

A man walks into a bank, gets in line, and when it's his turn he pulls out a gun and robs the bank.       

Just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The customer replies, "Yes, I did!"  The bank robber raises his gun, points it at the guys head, pulls the trigger and kills him deader than a door nail.
       
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"

The man calmly responds, "No, but my wife did!"

[Carl Harrod]

If only us husbands could get a copy of this bank robbers schedule so we could take our wives to the next bank on his list.

[sixdogsmom]

Shame on you Carl!! 

[Carl Harrod]

Just kidding - 

[Judy Harder]

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook
a venison steak.

But, all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic....And since it was Lent, they
were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a
problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest.

The Priest came to visit Bubba, and suggested that he become a Catholic.
After several classes and much study, Bubba attended Mass, and as the priest
sprinkled holy water over him, he said,   "You were born a Baptist, and
raised a Baptist, but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved,  until Friday night arrived, and
the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood.
The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors, and as he rushed into
Bubba's yard,  clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, he stopped and
watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba, clutching a small bottle of holy water which he carefully
sprinkled over the grilling meat and chanted: You wuz born a deer, you wuz
raised a deer, but now you a catfish.

[Teresa]

Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a damned duck!"