Giggles for 2008

[Dee Gee]

No truer words spoken!

[Judy Harder]

A Spud's Life

Once upon a time Girl Potato and Boy Potato had eyes for each other, and finallythey got married, and had a little sweet potato, which they called 'Yam.'

Of course, they wanted the best for Yam.

When it was time, they told her about the facts of  life.

They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn't get
accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like 'Hot Potato,' and
end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.

Yam said not to worry, no Spud would make a rotten potato out of her!

But on the other hand she wouldn't stay home and become a Couch Potato either.

She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins.

When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for
the hard-boiled guys from Ireland , and the greasy guys from France called
the French Fries.

And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn't
get scalloped.

Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn't associate
with those high class Yukon Golds.
Mr. And Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho Potato University so
that when she graduated she'd really be in the Chips.

But in spite of all they did for her, one day Yam came home and announced
she was going to marry Tom Brokaw.

Tom Brokaw!

Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset.

They told Yam she couldn't possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he's just......

Are you ready for this?


Are you sure?

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OK! Here it is!

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A COMMON-TATER

[sixdogsmom]

 

[Diane Amberg]

Oh, boo!

[Catwoman]

 

[Judy Harder]

Smart Kid


 
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. For weeks the teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem ?"

Every time Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister
is   in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be
in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry  to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would
give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was
to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed..

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."


Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."



And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "Think Harry can go to
the 3rd grade."


Ms. Brooks says to the principal," Let me ask him some questions."


The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"


The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."


Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants..."


Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C , ends with a T , is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid ?"

Harry: "Coconut."


The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.



Ms. Brooks:" What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"


The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."


Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.


Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F ' and ends in ' K ' that means
a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck."


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher," Put Harry
in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong.

[Wilma]

Just proves, there is more than one answer to every question.

[Carl Harrod]

I  was having trouble with my computer. So I called Richard, the 11  year old next door  whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and  asked him to come  over. Richard  clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. As  he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong?
He  replied, 'It was an  ID ten T error.'
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,
'An, ID ten T error? What's  that? In case I need to fix it again.'?

Richard  grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?' 'No,'  I replied.
'Write it down,' he  said, 'and I think you'll  figure it out.'
So  I wrote it down: I D 1 0 T...

I used to like the kid!

[Dale Smith]

 

With Age Comes Wisdom . . .


     An elderly man in Georgia had owned a large farm for several years.
       
        He had a large pond in the back,  surrounded by  picnic tables, horseshoe courts,
     and apple and peach trees.

        The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
       
        One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look
     it over as he hadn't been there for a while.

     He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

        As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
       
        When he came closer, he realized it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping
        in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the
        deep end to shield themselves.
       
        One of the women shouted to him, 'We're not coming out until you leave!'
       
        The old man frowned and replied, 'I didn't come down here to watch
     you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
       
        Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'
       
        Moral of the story: Old men may move slow but can still think fast

[Diane Amberg]