Giggles for 2008

[Teresa]

 
If you ever get the sudden
Urge to run around naked,
You should drink some Windex first.

It'll keep you from streaking.

[Judy Harder]

UNDERWEAR IS IMPORTANT!!


If you don't laugh out loud at this one, call the morgue and reserve a table,
because you are dead...

Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle...

From the Northwest Florida Daily News comes this story of a Crestview

couple who drove their car to Wal-Mart,only to have their car break down in the parking lot.



The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car in the lot.

The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.   On closer inspection, she saw a pair of male legs protruding from under the chassis. 

Although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned private parts into glaringly public ones.

Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place. She took a deep breath and stood up boldly to to face the crowd.She looked across the hood and found herself staring at her husband, who  had been standing idly by.

The mechanic, however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.

[frawin]

JUDY,JUDY,JUDY, BAD-----------------------------------------but a good one
Frank

[Carl Harrod]

I hope this gives you a little smile:

http://www.youtube.com/v/Xzp0S3yO1QA&hl=en&rel=0&color1=0x006699&color2=0x54abd6&border=1'

[sixdogsmom]

Why Carl, I thought you were a country boy--- haven't you ever watched those steers or those young roosters? Homosexuality is not restricted to humans you know. It is common throughout all critters. Oh, just never mind. (sigh)

[Teresa]

A preacher was making his rounds on a bicycle, when he came upon a little boy trying to sell a lawn mower.

'How much do you want for the mower?' asked the preacher.

'I just want enough money to go out and buy me a bicycle,' said the little boy.

After a moment of consideration, the preacher asked, Will you take my bike in trade for it?'

The little boy asked if he could try it out first, and, after riding the bike around a little while, said, 'Mister, you've got yourself a deal.'

The preacher took the mower and began to crank it. He pulled on the rope a few times with no response from the mower.

The preacher called the little boy over and said, 'I can't get this mower to start.'

The little boy said, 'That's because you have to cuss at it to get it started.'

The preacher said, I can't cuss. It's been so long since I became a Christian that I don't even remember how to cuss.'

The little boy looked at him happily and said, 'You just keep pulling on that rope. It'll come back to ya."

[Judy Harder]

  A Zebra dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates.

As he enters, he asks St. Peter, 'I have a question that's haunted me all of my days on earth. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?'

St. Peter said, 'That's a question only God can answer.' So the zebra went off in search of God.

When he found Him, the zebra asked, 'God, please - I must know. Am I white with black stripes, or am I black with white stripes?' God simply replied 'You are what you are.'

The zebra returned to see St. Peter once more, who asked him, 'Well, did God straighten out your query for you?'

The zebra looked puzzled. 'No sir, God simply said 'You are what you are.'' St. Peter smiled and said to the zebra, 'Well then, there you are. You are white with black stripes.'

The zebra asked St. Peter, 'How do you know that for certain?' 'Because,' said St. Peter, 'If you were black with white stripes, God would have said, 'You is what you is.'

  WARNING

If you laugh at this, Al Sharpton & Jesse Jackson will be comin right over to kick your white honky ass !!!! 

[Teresa]

Three senior citizens were sitting in a diner chatting about various things...

One lady said: "You know, I'm getting really forgetful.  This morning I was standing at the top of the stairs and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down."

The second lady said:  "You think that's bad"  The other day I was sitting on the edge of my bed and I couldn't remember whether I was going to bed or had just woke up!"

The third lady smiled smugly.  "Well, my memory's just as good as it's always been, knock on wood," she said as she rapped on the table.  Then with a startled look on her face, she asked, "Who's there?"

[sixdogsmom]

 

[Teresa]

The 3 stages of a mans life.

Single




Married



Divorced



ANY QUESTIONS?