Giggles for 2008

[Teresa]

This has to be one of the funniest country songs ever written.......not the perfect one mind you.....no trains, dogs, pickup trucks, jail or Divorce........But a great country song..... It gives you the words.. but the music should start when you open the link.   LOL

You'll need sound to appreciate this one.

http://denimandlace.50megs.com/1bigone.html   

[flo]

good one and it even had "mom" in it

[Judy Harder]

That was a good one, Teresa

I almost memorized it and will probably sing it in my sleep tonight.
LOL.........sounds like a a RED NECK church to me.........good old boys.

[Jo McDonald]

I saw a billboard sign that said :




NEED HELP, CALL JESUS

      1-800-005-3787

           

           Out of curiosity, I did.




A Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

[Jo McDonald]

Why Men Wear Earrings

    A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing
    an earring.  This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative
    fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in 'fashion sense.'

    The man walks up to him and says, 'I didn't know you were into earrings.'

    'Don't make such a big deal, it's only an earring,' he replies sheepishly.

    His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, 'So, how long have you been wearing one?'

    "Ever since my wife found it in my truck."

    I always wondered how this trend got started.

 

[Teresa]

IMPORTANT BREAKING NEWS!

China will no longer publish a phone directory due to chaos.

There are so many Wing's and Wong's in THE DIRECTORY, people were always winging wong numbers.

I felt you needed to know this.........

[Lookatmeknow!!]

An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. 


The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. 
As they went along they passed some people
Who remarked it was a shame the old man
Was walking and the boy was riding.
The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right,

So they changed positions.

Then, later, they passed some people who remarked,'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk.'
So they then decided they'd both walk! 
Soon they passed some more people who thought
They were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. 
So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people
Who shamed them by saying how awful to
Put such a load on a poor donkey.
The boy and man figured they were probably right,
So they decide to carry the donkey.   
As they crossed the bridge,
They lost their grip on the animal
And he fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story?

If you try to please everyone,
You might as well..
Kiss your ass goodbye!






 

[flo]

[Judy Harder]

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Selma had been friends all of their lives. When it was clear that Rose was dying, Selma visited her every day. One day Selma said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played in all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'
Rose looked up at Selma from her deathbed, 'Selma, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favor for you' Shortly after that, Rose passed on.
At midnight a couple of nights later, Selma was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Selma,Selma.'
'Who is it?' asked Selma, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'
'Selma -- it's me, Rose.'
'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'
'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice
'Rose! Where are you?'
'In Heaven,' replied Rose. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'
'Tell me the good news first,' said Selma.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's Softball in Heaven. Better yet, all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired'

'That's fantastic,' said Selma. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'
'You're pitching Tuesday.'

[Teresa]

The Definition of OLD..

First you tell your friends that you are having an  affair........

Then your friend asks you........
'Are you having it catered???'



THAT, my friends, is the definition of OLD!!!!!!!