Giggles for 2008

[Diane Amberg]

I love all these!!!

[Judy Harder]

One  day I saw an old lady sitting on her front step, so I walked
     up to her and said,

    **'I  couldn't help noticing how happy you look! ***
    **What  is your secret for such a long, happy life?'  **
   
    ***She  said, 'I smoke ten cigars a day, and before I go to bed, I
     smoke a nice big joint.****   **** ***
    **   **
    **  Apart  from that, I go through a whole bottle of Jack Daniels
    every  few days, and eat only junk food.  **
    **   **
    **  On  weekends I zone out on Valium and red wine, and most
     importantly, I avoid any type of physical activity or  exercise.'**

    **'That is absolutely amazing!' I told her.  Then I asked, 'How
old
    are you?'**

    **'Thirty-six,' she  replied.***

[flo]

We men just can't ever get the upper hand!

>
> UNDERWEAR DUST
>
> One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife
> 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe 
> it would
> take a few inches off of your butt!'
>
> His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let 
> such a
> comment go unrewarded.
>
> The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his 
> drawer.
> 'What is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud
> appeared when he shook them out.
>
> 'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum 
> powder in my
> underwear?'
>
> She replied ... "It's not talcum powder......It's 'Miracle Grow'"

[Diane Amberg]

HA!

[Dee Gee]

Miracle Grow won't work! 

[Teresa]

How to cook a turkey.. interactive..   

  http://ourfamily23.zoomshare.com/files/Cooking_A_Turkey.swf

[Dee Gee]

Very good instructions!   

[Judy Harder]

Cute

[Teresa]

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place:

First guy: "You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I would paint every room in the house next weekend."

Second guy: "That is nothing, I had to promise my wife that I would build
her a new deck for the pool."

Third guy: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I
would remodel the kitchen for her."

They continue to fish.  When they realized that the fourth guy has not said
a word, they asked him.
"You haven't said anything about what you had to  do to be able to come fishing this weekend.  What's the deal?"

Fourth guy: "I just set my alarm for 5:30 am. When it went off, I shut off
my alarm, gave the wife a slap on her butt  and said:
"Fishing or Sex?"
and she said: "Wear sun-block."   

[Lookatmeknow!!]