Govermentium

[Jo McDonald]

Recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, "Govermentium " (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy eutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Govermentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Govermentium can cause a reaction (that would normally take less than a second) anytime from four days to four years to complete. Govermentium has a normal half-life of two to six years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Govermentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Govermentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Govenmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Govermentium, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

[Diane Amberg]

My father would have loved this! It is so perfect!!!

[Judy Harder]

I must admit that most of the time the politics confuses me,
but that one I got just fine.

Maybe cause I am a big Bull Shooter, too........good for you Jo.
Now if this next year won't be full of mud slinging that would be a
Good thing!

[Diane Amberg]

Too late. I just saw a truckload of manure headed south.

[Teresa]

We know where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions of cows in America,
but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

[Ole Granny]

Good Idea!