It is Turkey Time

[Judy Harder]

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?"

The boy replied, "What turkey?"
The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm."
The boy looks down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!"

The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?"

The little boy said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"



May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off of your thighs!



Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

[Teresa]

A young man, John, received a parrot as a gift.
The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's
mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried
to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,
playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the
bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

Jon shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and ever ruder.

John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.
For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked,cussed and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet.
Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said,

" I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully
intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable
behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about
to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior,
the bird continued,

" Might I ask what the turkey did?"