Old Age is a Gift

[Dale Smith]

I thought that since my 45th birthday was quickly approaching, this picture was kinda cute:

[Judy Harder]

Aw Dale,

Wait until you reach your 60's................it is so much fun !!! to get older.

If we don't smile and laugh at ourselves then we just fall down..
then if we don't watch our step we fall down anyway.

I do hope you have a great birthday......I kind of remember when I hit 45.............boy, that was 20 years ago.
Where does the time go???
Judy

[sixdogsmom]

I received this in an email this morning--- there are surely some more! 

Advantages of passing your 50th birthday

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh....it is all true...

Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!

01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.

04. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?

05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

07. Things you buy now won't wear out.

08. You can eat supper at 4 pm.

09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

13. You sing along with elevator music.

14. Your eyes won't get much worse.

15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.

19. You can't remember where you got this list.

[Jo McDonald]

I got this from a friend today, and thought you would like to read it.  Normally I avoid discussing any advice regarding buying or selling of stock, but I felt this is important enough to share and warn you since this explosive situation might prove to be yet another ENRON.

Take a look at any holdings you might have in the following stock:
American Can
Interstate Water
National Gas Company
Northern Tissue Company

Due to uncertain market conditions, I would advise you to sit tight on your American Can, holding your Water, and let go of your Gas.  You may be interested to know that Northern Tissue touched a new bottom today, and millions were wiped clean.  It's a tough market out there.  Be careful!

[sixdogsmom]

Amen to that! I feel sorry for the folks who are about to retire and suddenly find themselves about as well off as they were 30 years ago. 

[flo]

  Jo, sounds like good advice to me ! ROFLMAO

[Diane Amberg]

 

[Teresa]

THE RADIO...

Just when you have lost faith in human kindness, someone who teaches at Kean Elementary in Wooster , Ohio forwarded the following letter.

The letter was sent to the Principal's office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. An old lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward to anyone you know who might need a lift today.


Dear Kean Elementary:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon.
I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now and it's nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears.
She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,
Edna

[Dee Gee]

Way to go Edna! 

[Judy Harder]

wilma asked me to post this for her. Enjoy..........Good one Wilma!


STUD ROOSTER
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,
'OK old fart, time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle
ALL of these chickens..
Look what it has done to me
Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'
The young rooster says,
'Beat it: You are washed up
And I am taking over.'
The old rooster says,
'I tell you what, young stud.
I will race you around the farmhous! e. Whoe ver wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.' The young rooster laughs.
'You know you don't stand a chance, old man.
So, just to be fair,
I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch
When he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Roster is squalking
And running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and
- BOOM -
He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

'Dammit.....
Third gay rooster I bought this month.'

Moral of this
Story? ..


Don't mess with the THE OLDER GENERATION
Age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery
Always overcome youth and arrogance!