another giggle

[Carl Harrod]

Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots -- outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day I found my wife staring at the mess. "I hope I die first, so I don't have to get rid of all this," she sighed.
"Look on the bright side," I suggested. "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me."
Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. He wouldn't be my type."

[Teresa]

Two British traffic patrol officers were involved in an unusual incident while checking for speeding motorists on the A1 Great North Road. One of the officers used a hand-held radar device to check the speed of a vehicle approaching over the crest of a hill, and was surprised when the speed was record ed at over 300 mph.  Then their radar suddenly stopped working. The officers were not able to reset it.

Just as their radar gun quit working there was a deafening roar over the treetops revealing that the radar gun had actually latched on to a 'Tornado' fighter jet approaching from the North, that was engaged in a low-level flight exercise.

Back at police headquarters the chief constable fired off a stiff angry complaint to the RAF ( Royal Air Force) Liaison office.

The following reply was received for the RAF:

"Thank you for your message, which allows us to complete the file on this incident.
You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the 'Tornado' had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked onto, your hostile radar equipment and automatically sent a jamming signal back to it.
Furthermore, an air-to-ground missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked onto you and your equipment.
Fortunately the pilot flying the 'Tornado' recognized the situation for what it was, quickly responded to the missile systems alert status, and was able to override the automated defense system before the missile was launched and your hostile radar installation was destroyed.
Good Day"