Humorous Story / Funnies

Diane Amberg · November 12, 2007, 01:35:17 PM

Jo, the weather here is nice for our Nov., mid to upper 50s during the day to low 40s at night. We have had several frost nips, but no hard killing frost yet. The hanging baskets on the front porch still look good. Al is still hanging in there too. He had a relapse and they almost put him back in the hospital, but the antibiotic helped. He can't do long trips or much else for some time yet, so we've modified our Thanksgiving plans so we don't inconvenience anyone. Of course, my perfect, self righteous "holier than thou" younger sister doesn't speak anyway, nor does my one stuck up niece, so I don't have any family here to plan with anyhow. My sister is one of those people who just can't get past any kind of perceived slight. She stays mad forever. You don't dare say no to her, or she has a hissy fit and runs off. Really sad and immature. She acts like 14 not 57. I tried to patch it up, but I wasn't going to admit to something that someone else did. I didn't jump in the middle of it and fix it for her, so she has declared me dead to her. Isn't that sad?

Wilma · November 12, 2007, 02:42:34 PM

That is very sad, Diane, but everyone has to grow up sometime. Otherwise they are just miserable the rest of their lives. If you are taking applications for a sister, count me in. I can always use one more.

Jo McDonald · November 12, 2007, 03:05:53 PM

Oh, Diane, I am so sorry ---- I feel really sorry for the one that can't get past their own misery and have to take it out on all others.
I am such a "People Person" and through my years of being in business and watching others, I can tell you, there are many, many
out there that are truly eaten up with jealousy. They won't let happiness into their hearts and curse all others that do.

I wish you and Al a Happy Thanksgiving, full of blessings and love sent across the miles from us.

Now, for my "funny"

An older fellow loves to fish.He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say,"Pick me up."He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.The man said, "Are you talking to me?"The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up.Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because you will have me as your bride."The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will be your beautiful bride."He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

Wilma · November 12, 2007, 03:47:13 PM

So would I.

Judy Harder · November 12, 2007, 06:00:57 PM

ME TOO! In fact I keep telling my dog that................unless I ask him "does he need outdoors,"
most of the time unless tv is on not a sound is said in this apartment.

If it weren't for can music and talk..............it would be very quiet in here.

Wouldn't mind having a HONEY DEW either........ummmmmmm wonder where I can find one?
Any ideas.........must be able to take home to mother..........LOL.....just kidding.......not sure if
I want a keeper or not........just the choice.

sixdogsmom · November 12, 2007, 06:42:35 PM

Quote from: Diane Amberg on November 12, 2007, 01:35:17 PM
Jo, the weather here is nice for our Nov., mid to upper 50s during the day to low 40s at night. We have had several frost nips, but no hard killing frost yet. The hanging baskets on the front porch still look good. Al is still hanging in there too. He had a relapse and they almost put him back in the hospital, but the antibiotic helped. He can't do long trips or much else for some time yet, so we've modified our Thanksgiving plans so we don't inconvenience anyone. Of course, my perfect, self righteous "holier than thou" younger sister doesn't speak anyway, nor does my one stuck up niece, so I don't have any family here to plan with anyhow. My sister is one of those people who just can't get past any kind of perceived slight. She stays mad forever. You don't dare say no to her, or she has a hissy fit and runs off. Really sad and immature. She acts like 14 not 57. I tried to patch it up, but I wasn't going to admit to something that someone else did. I didn't jump in the middle of it and fix it for her, so she has declared me dead to her. Isn't that sad?

Okay Diane, as one woman to another with a sick hubby-----. I lost my only sister in an auto accident at Thanksgiving time. I miss her terribly although she has been gone nearly fifteen years. I would think it a privelige to have you as a sister, even long distance.

Wilma · November 12, 2007, 06:56:19 PM

Yes, Judy, a "honey dew" would be nice, but I find the one that I can tell what to do and when to do it, then pay him and send him home is better. I also have to tell him how to do it sometimes. My husband could do any kind of repairs or construction that I wanted done although I sometimes had to help him figure out how to do it. My father could do anything and we learned a lot from him before he died. Right now, my yard needs to be raked, I want the front door painted, the lattice around the bottom of the back porch needs replacing and I plan to have the front porch made wider by about 2 feet. And by the time that is done I will have a half dozen more things that I want done. I definitely don't want a keeper or even the choice.

As for noise around here, the TV is on all day whether I am watching it, reading, napping or not even in the house. And I talk to Bud all day and he answers me.

Janet Harrington · November 12, 2007, 09:47:51 PM

Ah, yes. My mother talks to her cat and he talks back. Something is very seriously wrong with this picture. LOL

Wilma · November 12, 2007, 10:00:45 PM

He does talk back, but I can honestly say that he has never won an argument.

Judy Harder · November 13, 2007, 02:53:19 PM

Quote from: Wilma on November 12, 2007, 10:00:45 PM
He does talk back, but I can honestly say that he has never won an argument.

Wilma, I use to have a cat who talked to me and I understood all he said.

Like when I had been somewhere...like the cafe or town and left him home......I would step foot into the yard and
He would be HOLLERING.........."
Where in the Hell have you been".........and believe me I understood every MEOW........LOL... and when I was grieving with the death of my son.......He would cuddle up with me and let me know he was here with me.......and He grieved with me when we lost the 3 kittens that I raised.

That is another cat story..........Oh I do miss my MR.Cat...........and the rest of them.

The dog I have now (Scooter) won't stay out of the cat box. That is gross and I decided couldn't have one at this time. But, after he goes I will be having me a cat and a dog......but will have to raise them together. I have had dogs and cats get along and it worked out well.