Humorous Story / Funnies

[Diane Amberg]

B-o-o-o!!!

[Teresa]

9 Words Women Use

1.) Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.


2.) Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five
more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


7.) Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint.
Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying *%$# YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several
times, but is now doing it herself.
This will later result in a man  asking "What's wrong?"
For the woman's response refer to #3.

[Carl Harrod]

SOMEBODY
Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you've had a baby.
Somebody doesn't know that once you're a parent normal is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a parent by instinct.
Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a parent is boring.
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver's permit.

Somebody said if you're a "good" parent your child will "turn out well."
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" parents never raise their voices.
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see his or her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor's kitchen window.

Somebody said you don't need an education to be a parent.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can't love the fifth child as much as you love the first.
Somebody doesn't have five children.

Somebody said a parent can find all the answers to child-rearing questions in books.
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.

Somebody said a parent can stop worrying after his or her child gets married.
Somebody doesn't know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to their heartstrings.

Somebody said your parents know you love them so you don't need to tell them.
Somebody isn't a parent.

Somebody said a parent's job is done when the last child leaves home.
Somebody never had grandchildren

[frawin]

Carl, how true it all is, and what memories it brings back. That list is a keeper.
Frank Winn

[Judy Harder]

There are days when I wish that my kids were small again,
and then I run  into someone with a kid throwing a "fit" and
then I am so glad for my peace and quiet.

Thanks for the memories.......I didn't have to deal with the beans up the nose, mine tried eating
milk-pods and yep......here comes the Epicac.............and then there is the story of my two youngest kids (Robyn & David) each
putting a key in an electrical outlet..............the only thing that saved them from electrocution is that they
didn't touch each other and complete the circuit...........oh the joys of mother-hood.

We do survive those years and can't wait for them to get paid back..........LOL

[Carl Harrod]

   There was a cargo shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa. It suddenly had a malfunction, and crashed in the jungle.
   A few days later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane to search for the plane and crew. They found the wreckage, but were not able to locate the crew. They searched the area and met with a tribe of cannibals.
   They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
The Chief nods and simply says, "Yes...seen plane crash".
When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi!"
   The Rescue crew was shocked. Another man asked, "Did you eat their legs?"
The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi!"
   Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?"
The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Peps!"
   Finally, another rescuer had to ask, "Did you..you know...eat their...things?"
The chief says, "NO, you idiot!"... even cannibals know that... "THINGS go better with Coke!"

[Jo McDonald]

Most of the tribe of cannibals were looking for the Chief's mother-in-law.  Come to find out, He "passed " her in the woods.


  Ok Diane... you can   B-o-o  B-o-o   H-i-s-s-  H-i-s-s  now   

[Diane Amberg]

 Ok , boo-boo, hiss-hiss, ha-ha!!!

[Jo McDonald]

                                      You are soooooooooooooo  good !!
Hope you and Al are having a good week.  Weather here in Texas is awesome !!! 

[sixdogsmom]

Weather here is a keeper also! My dad used to say that every one of these is that many less of those others. Ain't it the truth! This is truly awesome for November; now we wait for the other shoe to drop!