Cute and Clever Pets

[Wilma]

If he finds one on the floor he might bat it a time or two, but if it doesn't move on it's own he loses interest.  He is five and a half.  And he does have a way of letting me know what he needs.  Especially his kitty box.  He uses it once, then wants it cleaned.  And he can get very loud about it.

[Kjell H.]

CAT BATHING AS A MARTIAL ART
author unknown

Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean.
They say cats have a special enzyme in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.

I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.

The time comes, however, when a man must face reality: when you must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and Announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."

When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some Advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub...

Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom.
If your bathroom is more than four feet square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, hockey face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
Prepare everything in advance.
There is no time to go out for a towel when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket.
Draw the water. Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure.
Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back in the water.
Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish
(Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If he does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a product testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)
Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo.

You will have begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, the problem is radically compounded.

Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off.
(The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much )

Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point, and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi permanently affixed to your right Leg. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait.
(Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.)
        After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say to you for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psycho ceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case.

As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

But at least for now, he smells a lot better.

[Roma Jean Turner]

  I love this one, thanks for starting my day with a huge laugh

[Wilma]

Now that I have stopped laughing, I have successfully bathed 2 cats so far in my lifetime.  One was a mere baby just wrested from her mother's ministrations.  I had opened a can of mackeral and thinking it would be a treat for the mere one, I drained some of the juice and put it down for the baby.  She loved it, she lapped it, she bathed in it and perhaps thought that a trip behind the refrigerator would dry her off some.  Anyway, she was filthy and nothing but a soap and water bath would do the job. 

The other one was a 2 year old tom cat that was my special pet at the time.  He was filthy with fleas and I thought that a flea bath might help.  Surprisingly  he didn't fight me.  We did the job at the kitchen sink with the spray attachment, dried off with a towel and a hair dryer and remained friends.

[Judy Harder]

Thanks for the laugh this morning.

I had written a response to this and before I could preview it I hit a button and lost the whole blame thing.
I may try to write the story again, but NOT now. Talk about dumb, that is me.

I have several cat story's and will attempt to write them later.
Just wanted to say thanks for a giggle.........Aren't they wonderful..............Cats I mean.
Hugs and God bless

[Wilma]

Please, Judy, write your cat stories and put them on here.  I love reading about other people's pets.

[Diane Amberg]

 Yes please, Judy, I love pet stories too.

[Jody]

I have a beautiful long haired cat ,that I found inditch culvert, across the street from my house.  When I first looked at her I thoight she had  stuck her head in a oil can.  When I got her to my house and took awet rag to her head,  I found out it was blood on her head.  She was covered with fleas and the were sucking the blood out of her.   She was so weak she could  hardly hold  her head up.   A friend and I gave her a flea bath, thenwe sat and killed the fleas on her head, by dipping a q-tip inflea dop and then touching the flea with it.  You could actually see them  still running around on her head.   She was very weak and under norished, as she had been living on her own.  She had this BIG fluffy tail,that looked nlike it didn't belong to her.  I took her to the vet.  Noone thought she woul live.  Shedid and I found out she was a Turkish  Angora.

[Diane Amberg]

 Is that the cat in your photo? name please?

[Jody]

The cat in my photo is Booter Boy and he is 12 years old. His mother brout him over to eat,and left him. 

The white cat is Georgie Girl.  She is 6 years old and has finally growninto her tail.