Cute and Clever Pets

[Diane Amberg]

 Waldo, I had to get a new purse and a new everything that was in it. Fortunately my driver's license is sealed in plastic, as are most of my other important cards. But a lot was lost. It was a  good leather purse, so I was not  happy. 

[Teresa]

HOW TO GIVE YOUR CAT A PILL..

1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding
a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's
mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right
hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth
and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of
mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.
Call spouse from garden.

6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and
rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head
firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill
down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep
shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing
later.

8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just
visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force
mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to
take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood
from carpet with cold water and soap.

10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another
beer.
Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing.
Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic
band.

11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges.
Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold
compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.
Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12. Call fire department to retrieve the darn cat from across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat.
Take last pill from foil wrap.

13. Tie the little ba$#rd's front paws to rear paws with garden twine
and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves
from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak.
Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down
throat to wash pill down.

14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the
emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm
and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way
home to order new table.

15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet
shop to see if they have any hamsters.

*********************************************************************************************

How To Give A Dog A Pill

1. Wrap it in bacon.

2. Toss it in the air.

[emptynest]

Read cat story at 4:20 a.m. after visiting extensively with son who is now sleeping nearby.  Laughed so hysterically that those sleeping definitely awoke to a mom in pajamas with wild hair sitting at the computer at this time of morning thinking that I have more than lost it.  How does one explain that it was all over a cat and a pill?   Great one, Teresa!  Thanks.

[Diane Amberg]

 I couldn't see for laughing....That's my cat! He looks so innocent...HA!

[Roma Jean Turner]

These stories or oh so familiar to we cat owners aren't they.

My beloved Cat Caleb which I had for years, (been gone about four years now) developed an allergy to plastic. He started developing abcesses on the chin.  For a period of 10 days, he had to wear one of those funnel shaped collars around his neck, be isolated from the other cat, have the abcess cleaned twice a day and take an antibiotic twice a day.  I had to set up everything for him in the little and only bathroom of my then apartment and commence his care.  It was absolutely an exhausting nightmare.  Ha, ha.  Probably 10 of the longest days I ever spent.

[Teresa]

Whatever obstacles you face today, I hope they can be solved this easily!

[Marcia Moore]

     Just wanted to share a photo of our new puppy, Baxter, in his John Deere cap.  Baxter is a beagle and we just got him yesterday morning.  He was born on July 8th.

[Roma Jean Turner]

How precious.  I have always wanted a Beagle, but now that I ended up with the Jack Russell, three may have to be enough for awhile. 

[Teresa]

If he isn't the cutest thing , then I don't know what is!
That hat on him just makes you smile out loud!

[Janet Harrington]

That hat on him just makes you smile out loud!

Well, the hat on you makes me laugh out loud!  LOL