Chuckles

[Diane Amberg]

"Measure twice before you cut," Tom remarked.

[Diane Amberg]

Gee, I thought Frawg and Rudy would jump on those. Guess not. I'll just go sit in the closet and suck my thumb for awhile.

[kdfrawg]

Nope, nope, I'm none too bright, but the older I get the fewer chances I take.

[Diane Amberg]

OK.... here's another third grade joke.
     A child says to the teacher, "Would you ever punish me for something I didn't do?"  "No of course not," said the teacher. "Good, I didn't do my home work."

[kdfrawg]

The young mother said, when I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!".

I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy".

"I know", she replied, "but what's growing in your butt?"

[flo]

There was a blonde, a brunette and a red head sitting on a park bench. . .  = nahhhhhhh, won't do that one.. . . This guy walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder  nahhhhhhhh, won't do that one either.  Okay, the teacher asks her students to say a sentence using the word fascinate    can't use that one either.  Forget it, I'm going to bed.

[Carl Harrod]

A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother, "Who's this guy on the beach with you, with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That's your father." said the mother.

The boy seemed astonished as he said to his mom, "Then who's that old baldheaded fat man that lives with us now?"

[Diane Amberg]

 Those are all really great. Here's one that Janet can appreciate, and it really happened. A friend of mine is a state trooper/paramedic with our aviation division, and recently was taking his recert classes. The emergency room doc who was teaching a part on proper safety precautions, said, "Someone threatens you with a knife, what would you do?" My friend said, "I'd treat the gun shot wounds.''  The doc says, "He doesn't have a gun." Says my friend, "but I do!''

[Diane Amberg]

  Long ago in the old west, a big, brown, hairy, three legged dog hobbled into the local saloon and in a loud, gruff voice exclaimed," I'm here to find the guy that shot my paw!"

[kdfrawg]

< floop >

Flooping is simultaneous smiling and groaning. It is rare, but Diane seems to have a knack for making me floop.