Chuckles

[Judy Harder]

During these serious and trying times, people of all faiths should remember these four great religious truths:


            1. Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
           
            2. Jews do not recognize Christ as the Messiah.
           
            3. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of
            the Christian world.
           
            4. Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters or the
            Liquor Store.



It is better to trust in the Lord than put confidence in man: Ps118

[larryJ]

 

Larryj

[Judy Harder]

One Light Bulb at a Time


A physics teacher in high school, once told the students that while one grasshopper on the railroad tracks wouldn't slow a train very much, a billion of them would.  With that thought in mind, read the following, obviously written by a good American.


Good idea .. . one light bulb at a time . . . .


Check this out.  I can verify this because I was in Lowes the other day for some reason and just for the heck of it I was looking at the hose attachments.  They were all made in China .

The next day I was in Ace Hardware and just for the heck of it I checked the hose
attachments there.  They were made in USA .  Start looking.

In our current economic situation, every little thing we buy or do affects someone else - even their job.  So, after reading this email, I think this lady is on the right track.  Let's get behind her!

My grandson likes Hershey's candy.  I noticed, though, that it is marked made in Mexico now.  I do not buy it any more.

My favorite toothpaste Colgate is made in Mexico ... now I have switched to Crest.  You have to read the labels on everything.

This past weekend I was at Kroger.  I needed 60 W light bulbs and Bounce dryer sheets.  I was in the light bulb aisle, and right next to the GE brand I normally buy was an off-brand labeled, "Everyday Value."  I picked up both types of bulbs and compared the stats -
they were the same except for the price ...  The GE bulbs were more money than the Everyday Value brand but the thing that surprised me the most was the fact that GE was made in MEXICO and the Everyday Value brand was made in - get ready for this - the USA in
a company in Cleveland , Ohio .

So throw out the myth that you cannot find products you use every day that are made right here.

So on to another aisle - Bounce Dryer Sheets . .. . yep, you guessed it, bounce cost more money and is made in Canada .  The Everyday Value brand was less money and MADE IN THE USA ! I did laundry yesterday and the dryer sheets performed just like the Bounce Free I have been using for years and at almost half the price!

My challenge to you is to start reading the labels when you shop for everyday things and see what you can find that is made in the USA - the job you save may be your own or your neighbors!

If you accept the challenge, pass this on to others in your address book so we can all start buying American, one light bulb at a time!  Stop buying from overseas companies!

(We should have awakened a decade ago .. . .. . . . )

Let's get with the program . . . .. help our fellow Americans keep their jobs and create more jobs here in the U.S.

[Judy Harder]

 
Welcome Monday, August 16, 2010

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing!

Agri-cows

How agri-corporations around the world would treat their cows.

NORTH AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

FRENCH: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

JAPANESE: You have two cows. You redesign them to 1/10 the size of ordinary cows, producing 20 times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoons called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.

GERMAN: You have two cows, re-engineered so they'll live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

BRITISH: You have two cows. Both are mad.

RUSSIAN: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42. You count them again and learn you have 12. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

SWISS: You have 5,000 cows. None belongs to you. You charge others for storing them.

HINDU: You have two cows. You worship them.

CHINESE: You have two cows and 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who questions the numbers.

[Jo McDonald]

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my

wife's lovely voice from the kitchen.

"What would you like for dinner, my Love. . . Chicken, beef or lamb?"

I said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken."

She replied "You're having soup, Butthead.  I was talking to the cat."

[larryJ]

 

ROTFLMBO

Why does that sound so familiar?

Larryj

[Judy Harder]

>
>             LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE
>
>             A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an
> airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk?
> Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow
> passenger."
>
>             The little girl, who had just started to read her book,
> replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
>
>             "Oh, I don't know," said the congressman.  "How about
> global warming, universal health care, or stimulus packages?" as he
> smiled smugly.
>
>             "OK," she said.  "Those could be interesting topics but
> let me ask you a question first.  A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat
> the same stuff - grass.  Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a
> cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps.  Why do you
> suppose that is?"
>
>             The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl's
> intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
>
>             To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel
> qualified to discuss global warming, universal health care, or the
> economy, when you don't know shit?"
>
>                          And then she went back to reading her book.

[Dee Gee]

BLESSED ARE THE CRACKED, FOR THEY LET IN THE LIGHT!
TWENTY-NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25  A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. (how true)
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

[Dee Gee]

Women often receive warnings about protecting themselves at the mall and in dark parking lots, etc. This is the first warning I have seen for men. I wanted to pass it on in case you haven't heard about it.

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.

Here's how the scam works:

Two nice-looking, college-aged girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look).

When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead ask for a ride to McDonald's.

You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen June 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, 24th, & 29th. Also July 1st & 4th, twice on the 8th, 10th, 12th & 13th  and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men! Warn your friends to be vigilant.

As an aside; Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the dollar store and bought them out in
three of their stores.

Also, you never get to  eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's, to Home Depot, to Costco, Etc.

[Mom70x7]

This is actually a sculpture from Australia from a couple of years ago. It's still funny!