Chuckles

[Jo McDonald]

Mexico Drops Out
Of 2008 Summer Olympics


President Felipe Calderon of Mexico has announced that Mexico will not participate in the Beijing Summer Olympics.

He stated:
"Casi cada uno que puede funcionar, saltar, O la nadada ha salido ya del pais."

Translation:
"Pretty much everyone who can run, jump, or swim has already left the country."

[Diane Amberg]

Oh ,wow...good one!

[Teresa]

Proof Men Have Better Friends


Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.


Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends, eight of which confirmed that he had slept over,
and two said that he was still there

[Dale Smith]

Eight Words with two Meanings


1. THINGY (thing-ee) n..
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male..... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n .
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.!
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest _expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.

AND;

He said . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . .... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
 

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said ..... . . They already have boyfriends.

He said .. Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

[frawin]

WOW, Dale, you came back with a BANG, those are good ones. My wife and I have been wondering if you were ok. Welcome back.
Frank

[Dale Smith]

Thanks Frank...yeah, I'm okay.  Just overloaded now.  The School that I work for (Candler School of Theology) is about to move into a new school.  I was "appointed" to be the move coordinator.  So, my summer-task has been to coordinate the move of 150 people from this old building into the new one - assigning offices, ordering furniture, getting old offices ready for the move.  We have been in this old building since 1914, so there is a LOT of junk and stuff to sort through.  To add to my stress level, I have applied and been accept to Atlanta Christian College to continue my education, and I start classes on August 7th, which also is the date of the move into the new building.  I am wondering how long my black hair will remain black.  LOL
Thanks for asking about me.  :-)

[frawin]

We think you resemble a young Walter Mathau in your pictures,  and you even have his ability and taste regarding humor.
Frank

[Teresa]

Walter Matthau?? 

Frank!!
Even though Walter Matthau was a  lovable curmudgeon who I loved in all his  movies........He still had a hounddog-faced.

I have to disagree...
Dale is no Walter Mattheu..

Dale is ............................

a "Hottie"..........

[Dale Smith]

Thanks Teresa... you make me blush, big time.  I am fairly certain, however, that Frank Myrna don't think of me as a "hottie."   

[Jo McDonald]

  I am old enough to know a "Hottie" when I see one...And, Dale~~~~~`YOU ARE A HOTTIE  !!!