Chuckles

[emptynest]

I do that activity with my first graders a little bit later on in the year and also have them illustrate it.  What a hoot!  Also, I have them write definitions to words that are not necessarily in their everyday vocabulary.  It's simply amazing what they come up with......

[Diane Amberg]

Please share them later when you do that activity.

[emptynest]

Another joke ( not necessarily the entire belief of the replier) HA!

Old Love

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite, throws the kite up in the air, and the wind catches it for a few seconds before it comes crashing down to earth.  He tries this a few more times with no success whatsoever.
All the while, his wife is watching from the kitchen window.  Muttering to herself, she thinks how men need to be told how to do everything.
She opens the window and yells to her husband, "You need a piece of tail."
The man turns with a confused look on his face, and says, "Make up your mind! Last night you told me to go fly a kite!"

[Diane Amberg]

 Well, Bless my soul....

[Wilma]

Oh, my gosh! 

[Dee Gee]

A woman's right to change their mind.

[Janet Harrington]

Subject: this is so true!!!


A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game,
took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why
it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation.
"You grew up in a different world, actually an almost primitive one,"the
student said, loud enough for many of those nearby to hear. The young people
of today grew up with television, jet planes, space travel, man walking on
the moon, our spaceships have visited Mars. We have nuclear energy, electric
and hydrogen cars, computers with DSL, light-speed processing....and,"
pausing to take another drink of beer. The Senior took advantage of the
break in the student's litany and said, "You're right, son. We didn't have
those things when we were young..........so we invented them. Now, you
arrogant little shit, what are you doing for the next generation?" The
applause was resounding... I love senior citizens. =============

[Carl Harrod]

Definitions From A Parent

FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when a baby doesn't appreciate the mashed carrots.

HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes.

STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

WHOOPS: An exclamation that translates roughly into "get a washrag."

[Diane Amberg]

Anybody who has ever been around small children will get a good laugh at these.

[Teresa]

Billy Bob and Bubba bought five raffle tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.

Billy Bob won 1st place- a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce
and extra thin spaghetti.

Bubba won 6th prize- a toilet brush.

About a week or so had passed when the men met at the corner store.

Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob
replied, "Great!, I love spaghetti!"

Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you. How's the toilet brush?"

"Not so good," replied Bubba, "I'm thinking 'bout switching back to paper."