Chuckles

[Diane Amberg]

 Don't burn your house down! Use nightlights.

[Diane Amberg]

  Grow your own dope!          Plant a politician.

[Diane Amberg]

 Hey, Kermit, I found a new doctor for you.   Dr. Ann Phibian.  She's from Philadelphia and specializes in Phrogs. She's a good surgeon, in case you ever need a hopperation.

[Diane Amberg]

 What did the frog say to the server at the fancy, upscale restaurant?  Waiter, there's no fly in my soup! 

[kdfrawg]

I'm cutting all of those and pasting them into my frog-joke file. It's amazing how many frawgy things you run across when you are one. I wonder if that works if your totem is a yak?

[emptynest]

"The Handy Blonde"
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a near-by well to do neighborhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,"  he said, "How much will you charge me?"

The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was already in the garage.

The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"

"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?"

The wife replied, "You're right.  I guess I'm beginning to believe all those 'dumb blonde jokes' we've been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" the husband asked.

"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had enough paint leftover, I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for $50 and handed it to her.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

[flo]

 

[Diane Amberg]

 Oh, b-o-o-o!!! That's a good one!

[Diane Amberg]

  What day do Elk County fowl hate most?
   Fry-Day

[Diane Amberg]

 Why do people carry umbrellas?

Because umbrellas can't walk.