A Letter From The White House

[Wake-up!]

I had a letter at the PO yesterday from the IRS. I quivered a bit, because those boys and I haven't been friendly for years. In the envelope was a letter with a big WHITE HOUSE heading. "My' President wrote me a letter. It was signed with a very fat-pointed pen in his bold signature. Well, it was a stamped signature, to be sure. He said he was worried for us Americans in these difficult times and wanted to tell me the CARES Act has qualified me for a $1200 direct deposit.

I'd like to reply to his letter.

Dear Mr. Trump,
Yes, these are difficult times. It is mostly difficult due to government interference in our lives. You are a former businessman. You know how difficult and burdensome government can be.

Although, I appreciate the gesture of free money, I would like to return it. I do not want it, I did nothing to earn it. And nothing is free. It is not public money, as you very well know. It is money appropriated from hardworking Americans. Or it is borrowed from China.

Mr. President, I will go viral on the internet as the man who returned his 'CARE package'. I believe other Americans hold to my values and would do the same. I would like the White House to start an account for the money I and others return. Can you imagine the large number of good old boys and girls who wear MAGA hats that will understand my message? That new account may grow surprisingly large. It might be worth calling it the Patriot Return Account.

I would like the money to be used in one of two ways. First, it should be used to repay the hard workers that earned it. Call it a tax refund. And make it a permanent reduction in their taxes. And second, pay down the national debt. And I do not mean to pay the interest, I mean buy down the very large principal.

Doing either will go much further toward resolving the economic hardship the government has placed Americans in than sending out freshly printed dollars every time we pass Go on the monopoly board.

Thank you for your sincere interest in my well being. But I know you are capable of doing much better with the power of the Oval Office.

Lets continue this correspondence monthly,
Wake-up!