Getting Old

[W. Gray]

Frank,

In re, this getting old is not for sissies.

The below was scanned from a May 1998 issue of Tall Grass Country published monthly by the old Sedan Times-Star. Rose Nix Leo was a columnist and the the mag covered Elk, Chautauqua, Cowley, and Greenwood counties.

I really enjoyed the content of this pulp magazine when it was publishing.

[frawin]

Waldo, I remember Rosie Nell well she was quite a lady,I remember her from back in the early fifties when she would shop in my brothers store. She was always joking with people. I can see her writing this article and laughing and saying she was going to publish it for all to see. I am assuming she wrote.Thanks Waldo

[W. Gray]

I dont know when she (Rose) moved in, but she lived in the same house on south Wabash that my sister was born in back in 1943.

[Warph]

Thought I'd let my doctor check me

Cause I didn't feel quite right

All those aches and pains annoyed me

And I couldn't get to sleep at night.

He could find no real disorder

But he couldn't let me rest

What with Medicare and Blue Cross

It wouldn't hurt to do some tests.

To the hospital he sent me

Though I didn't feel that bad

He arranged for them to give me

Every test that could be had.

I was flouroscoped and cystoscoped

My aging frame displayed,

Stripped upon an ice cold table

While my gizzards were X-rayed.

I was checked for worms and parasites

For fungus and the Crud

While they pierced me with long needles

Taking samples of my blood.

Doctors came to check me over

Prodded and pushed and poked around,

And to make sure that I was living

They wired me up for sound.

They have finally concluded:

(Their results have filled a page)

What I have will someday kill me,

My affliction is .....Old Age

.

Man is like an automobile. As it gets older, the differential starts slipping, and the u-joints get worn, causing the drive shaft to go bad. The transmission won't go into high gear and sometimes has difficulty getting out of low. The cylinders get worn and lose compression, making it hard to climb the slightest incline. When it is climbing, the tappets clatter and ping to the point where one wonders if the old bus will make it to the top. The carburetor gets fouled with pollutants and other matter, making it hard to get started in the morning. It is hard to keep the radiator filled because of the leaking hose. The thermostat goes out, making it difficult to reach operating temperature. The headlights grow dim, and the horn gets weaker. The memory chip drops a few bytes, and the battery needs constant recharging. But if the body looks good with no bangs, dents or chipping paint, we can keep it washed and polished, giving the impression that it can compete with the newer models and make one more trip down the primrose lane before the head gasket blows. Gentlemen, start your engines.

[frawin]

Warph, where did you get that picture of me, I used to be a nice looking young man, this what being married for 52 years to the same woman can do to you.