From The Devil's Dictionary

[Patriot]

Interesting definitions by Ambrose Bierce:


ECONOMY, n. Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

LAWYER, n. One skilled in circumvention of the law.

LITIGATION, n. A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.

PRESIDENCY, n. The greased pig in the field game of American politics.

RADICALISM, n. The conservatism of to-morrow injected into the affairs of to-day.

SENATE, n. A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.

VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

See more:  http://www.theblaze.com/blog/2014/02/20/tbt-37-definitions-from-a-dictionary-youll-actually-want-to-read/