The Definition of Golf and other popular sports

Started by Judy Harder, May 07, 2013, 06:18:18 AM

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Judy Harder

The Definition of Golf


*GOLF, n.*

GOLF, n.

a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.

a game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.

a colorful sport that keeps you on the green, in the pink, and financially in the red.

a game which is allowed to be played on Sunday (under blue laws) because it was not considered a game by the law, but a form of moral effort.

a game a lot like taxation - you drive hard to get to the green, and then you find yourself in a hole.



GOLF CART, n.

A popular mode of transportation because, unlike a caddie, it can neither count, criticize, nor snicker.



GOLFER, n.

a person who yells "fore," takes six, and puts down five;

a guy who has the advantage over a fisherman - he doesn't have to bring home anything when he brags he had a great day.

  :laugh:
Today, I want to make a difference.
Here I am Lord, use me!

Warph

"Every once in a while I just have a compelling need to shoot my mouth off." 
--Warph

"If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all."
-- Warph

"A gun is like a parachute.  If you need one, and don't have one, you'll probably never need one again."

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